


Coffee & Handcuffs

by SoThatHappened



Series: Breakfast and Sex [2]
Category: Person of Interest (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Fluff and Smut, i am actual trash, literally why can't i stop, not that you guys mind, pre marriage shoot, root | samantha groves & sameen shaw - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-31
Updated: 2017-02-28
Packaged: 2018-08-12 06:58:39
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 48,867
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7925011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoThatHappened/pseuds/SoThatHappened
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shaw finally agrees to get a drink with Root one day, after months of Root trying to get her to go on a date. </p><p>The prequel to Breakfast and Sex.... the beginning Root and Shaw's relationship, and all the hilarity and angst that followed up until my main story where they accidentally get married.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome ;) hopefully you guys enjoy this, i'm really curious as to what you think and feel! let me know!
> 
> If you've read Breakfast and Sex (which most of you probably have) you might notice a coupe of little references to moments in that story... if not, enjoy ;) 
> 
> happy reading <3

Shaw stared at Root with a frown clenched between her eyebrows. She didn’t get it, she didn’t get why she wasn’t looking away. Root had been gone for a couple of days and without her everything had seemed strangely quiet, which Shaw didn’t mind. It was nice, not having that annoyance following her around, making stupid unsubtle flirtatious jokes that made her feel both hostile and embarrassed at the same time. But when Root walked into Finch’s that morning as they had been working on a number Shaw hadn’t rolled her eyes. And then something else felt triggered when Root looked at her then seconds later looked away, and whilst that seemed like an insignificant act, Shaw knew something was wrong. The intensity behind those soft brown eyes was gone, and it had stayed that way for the rest of the day.

Now they were standing on Wall Street waiting for their number to come out of a building, but Shaw wasn’t paying any attention, because she couldn’t seem to look away from Root who had barely said three words to her all day.

“Okay look,” Shaw said finally unable to stand looking at mopey Root any longer. “Are you gonna tell me what’s wrong, because your weird mood is creeping me out.”

Root turned to look at her. “Is that why you’ve been staring at me all day?”

Shaw rolled her eyes. “I’m just wondering if the fact you’ve stopped hitting on me is going to be permanent.”

Root almost smirked. “Why do you miss it already”

Shaw tried not to roll her eyes again as she shook her head and glanced over at the entrance to the building their number was meant to be coming from.

“Like I miss an intestinal parasite” she muttered under her breath and Root just looked at her.

“Flattered.” Root said her eyes wandering over Shaw unnoticed, feeling almost warm inside at the fact Shaw had noticed she wasn’t acting like her usual self. And then as if Shaw had read Root’s mind, Shaw turned back to Root, their eyes meeting.

“No but seriously,” Shaw said. “What’s wrong?”

There was something so genuine about the way Shaw said it that caught Root off guard. Her lips parted as she went to answer, but she faltered, caught out by those dark eyes of Shaw’s that were fixed on her own. Shaw was not planning on looking away until she had received a decent answer.

“Buy me a drink and I’ll tell you” Root said and Shaw just stared at her, expressionless, but Root could see the thoughts running through her head.

Shaw’s jaw tightened as those words left Root’s mouth. Root had practically been harassing her to go on a date for months. Shaw had almost mastered telling her no, in every way possible to the point where she could just shoot Root a look and Root would say _“okay, maybe another time.”_ But today, it felt like she couldn’t get out of it. She didn’t _want_ to say no right now. She didn’t particularly enjoy the idea of having to deal with Root in her small gap of free time in the day, but she couldn’t ignore the fact her gut was telling her to just go and have the stupid drink. The perky psycho is better than whatever this was. 

“Fine.” Shaw snapped finally and looked away from Root.

“Really?” Root seemed shocked.

“Yes. Really.” Shaw said. “It’s a drink, don’t make it weird.”

Root smiled unable to pull her eyes away from Shaw.

*****

When Shaw walked into the bar she saw Root sitting on the far side, running her finger around the rim of a glass of water. Shaw glanced around the bar and noticed there were no cameras, she smirked a little as she quietly crept up behind Root.

“Is that vodka?” Shaw asked behind Root, causing Root to jump.

“It should be” Root said with a small smirk as she watched Shaw slip into the seat next to her and signal the bartender.

“It’s fun being able to sneak up on you” Shaw said “Why’d you pick a place that your friend can’t see you?”

Root just stared at the counter. “Umm, I don’t know actually.”

Shaw raised an eyebrow, never usually seeing Root without an answer. She was always so sure of herself, or at least it seemed that way. Or maybe Shaw thought, maybe that was just The Machine.

“Whiskey neat” Shaw said to the bartender “And this one needs vodka, two shots”

Root looked at Shaw. “To be honest I didn’t think you’d come.”

Shaw turned to her and arched an eyebrow. “I mean you’re annoying as hell but,”

“But?” Root echoed as the bartender slid their drinks across the counter to them. Shaw picked up the whiskey and let out a small sigh.

“Fuck it” she said taking a mouthful then putting the glass down.

“I think you like me more than you let on” Root said with a small smile, before downing both the shots in front of her. Shaw stared at her somewhat taken back by what she had just seen and heard.

“I don’t like you at all” Shaw said.

“Why’d you come have a drink with me then?” Root asked and Shaw rolled her eyes.

“Because you’re creeping everyone out with your mopey mood” Shaw said.

“And you’re worried about me?” Root said.

“Root” Shaw said her voice low. “Just tell me what’s wrong.”

Root stared at her for a moment, she wanted to know why Shaw came. She wasn’t meant to care, but it was so obvious that she did, even if she couldn’t admit it.

“It’s nothing easily explainable” Root said and Shaw rolled her eyes.

“Is it about The Machine?” Shaw guessed. “Or about everyone giving you shitty nicknames behind your back?”

Root stared at her. “No.” she said and Shaw sighed.

“Well shit,” Shaw said. “Are you having a dry spell on murders?”

Root smirked a little. “No,” she said. “That area is always… sticky.”

Shaw just stared at her unimpressed. “You gotta give me something here.”

“Why?” Root asked. “Because you’re worried? You want to help me?”

Shaw downed the rest of her drink and let the glass clatter onto the counter.

“Because you don’t have anyone else” Shaw said her tone coming out harder than she had wanted. “You don’t see anyone else here lining up to see what’s wrong, do you?”

Root just stared at her.

“I’m trying to be nice to you, but I am this close to walking” Shaw said and Root reached out to grab Shaw’s arm as she went to get up, but ended up grabbing her hand instead as she moved. They both froze. Shaw glanced down at Root’s hand on hers, then looked up at Root who was still staring at their hands, before she quickly pulled it back.

“Did you ever think, Sam, that maybe I don’t talk about it for a reason?” Root said quietly and Shaw sat back down again. “You can run from your past but you can’t hide.”

Shaw frowned. “What happened?”

“Nothing, Sameen.” Root said “That’s the thing, but sometimes it just gets to you…I’m only human.”

“Life is crap” Shaw said and stared at the empty glass. Root didn’t say anything for a few seconds.

“Not all of it” Root’s voice said beside her finally, and as she looked back up, she realised Root was looking straight at her.

They stared at each other in silence. It felt like all of the walls Shaw had tried to build to keep Root out had been for no reason, then again, Root was a hacker. Of course she was going to find a way in if it was the last thing she did. Shaw almost smirked that she’d been so stupid.

“Do you want to come over?” Root asked bluntly and Shaw just looked at her.

“Root,” she said “that’s… not a good idea.”

“Isn’t it?” Root asked, there was something about the look in her eyes; the fixation on Shaw. “Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about it, even once.” Root continued and Shaw rolled her eyes.

“Weirdly enough I have other things to think about” Shaw said.

“You’re thinking about it now, though” Root said her dark lusting eyes following Shaw.

Shaw stared vacantly at the counter, contemplating her options. She knew this was a stupid idea. Root annoyed her more than anyone else, but fuck she had thought about it, more than once to her deep rooted frustration. She was good with guns, and extremely smart, and fuck she was pretty. But it was still a bad idea. Shaw sighed.

“Are you trying to convince me still or are you just wasting time?” Shaw asked and Root lifted an eyebrow with a smirk as she slipped off the barstool, pulling her leather jacket on.

Shaw dropped some money on the counter and followed Root out.

*

Root’s apartment felt like Root, it was fairly industrial looking, dimly lit, messy - but probably perfectly organised to her. She had a cabinet with the doors wide open, showing off a fairly intense collection of weapons. Everything was open plan, from the front door Shaw could see the kitchen, where the only light from outside was shining through the windows.

Root didn’t bother flicking on the light when she walked in.

Shaw tossed her jacket over the back of the couch and stared at Root.

“You’re not a lights person?”

Shaw could see the smirk on Root’s face even through the dim lighting.

“I have a bedroom” Root said “with lights.”

Shaw raised an eyebrow. “Isn’t that a bit…date like?”

“Is this not a date Sameen?” Root asked and Shaw just stared at her.

“No.”

Root smirked and walked towards the bedroom anyway, forcing Shaw to follow her eventually.

Shaw almost smiled when she saw Root’s room, there was a lava lamp on her nightstand, and a copy of Pride and Prejudice. Completely contradicting that was her motorbike gear on the chair on the other side of the room. The lights were on. And Root was stripping.

Shaw stopped in the doorway and stared at her, watched her pulling of her tight jeans, and then catch her eye, before she pulled her top over her head and let it drop to the floor so she was standing there in nothing but her underwear.

It’s not like she hadn’t seen Root like this before, she always changed at work when she was switching covers, but this was somehow different. Shaw let her eyes linger on her perfect body for a second.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Shaw asked her voice was low, her eyes lifted to meet Root’s. “Sex is not an easy thing to undo.”

“Relax Sam,” Root said taking her by the hand and pulling her into the room. “It’s not like you have to marry me.”

Shaw stared at her, eyes wandering, she wanted to touch her. In the back of her head she was yelling at herself for letting this happen, but right now, she didn’t care.

Instead she started to tug her pants down, then she pulled her top off, so she was in nothing more than Root. She felt Root’s eyes lust over her, tracing every inch of bare skin.

She watched Root breathing, in and out, every breath. It wasn’t usually like this, Shaw thought. It didn’t usually _feel_ like anything. Especially when they weren’t even touching yet.

Root moved in first, their bodies closing in on each other. Her fingers sliding down Shaw’s forearms and stopping at the elbow, touching only lightly. Her nose brushed against Shaw’s cheek. Shaw could feel her soft breath against her skin, she smelled sweet, and soft and fucking devourable.

It became a question of who would give in first, who would stop resisting.

Shaw let her hands find Root’s waist, her fingertips brushing against Root’s skin. Root could feel her heart racing in her chest, there had been months of wishing this would happen, wondering if Shaw even realised that she was flirting with her on purpose. And then suddenly she felt Shaw’s lips against her neck. Shaw’s hands on her waist pulling her closer, their bodies crashing together. She could feel Shaw’s teeth nipping at her pulse point and she had to swallow a moan that was already trying to escape her mouth. Root suddenly realising this was happening, pushed Shaw off her. They stood and looked at each other for a moment. A hunger filling Shaw’s eyes that Root hadn’t seen before. She moved back in and grabbed Shaw by the shoulders pushing her towards the bed.

“Get down” she said and Shaw sat on the edge of the bed, not making it any further before Root climbed on top of her. They stared at each other. Root’s lips parted, her breathing quickened. She looked at Shaw’s lips, then her eyes, then her lips.

Root leaned in to kiss her, but Shaw met her halfway. Their lips colliding together, Root’s hands on Shaw’s face, Shaw’s hands on Root’s neck. Finding an addiction in kissing each other, unable to break away from each other until they couldn’t breathe. Shaw let her teeth drag across Root’s bottom lip as they pulled away from each other, staring into each others eyes.

“You’re wet” Shaw said with a smirk and Root just stared at her breathlessly. “I can feel it on my leg”

“Who wouldn’t be after that” Root said with a smile and Shaw just rolled her eyes. Root pushed her down onto the bed, straddling her hips and pinning Shaw’s hands up by her head.

“Do you want this to get weird?” Root smirked and a hint of a smile played on Shaw’s lips.

“As long as it’s not an iron” Shaw said and Root grinned.

“You’re still traumatised by that,” Root smirked “cute.” 


	2. Chapter 2

When Shaw opened her eyes the first thing she saw was purple. Purple bubbles floating around in front of her eyes, she frowned, staring at it for longer until she realised it was Root’s lava lamp. Sitting up suddenly realising where she was, she glanced to her side and saw Root fast asleep beside her. Shaw stared at her through the dark, she had a strand of hair over her face, and her hand was reached out towards Shaw fingers slightly curled. Shaw almost reached out and touched her hand, but stopped herself wondering what the fuck she was doing. She never stays the night, not with anyone, ever.

Getting out of bed she peered through the darkness trying to find her clothes, majority of them she found and successfully dressed herself …except for her shirt, she couldn’t find her fucking shirt. Letting out a small sigh she pulled on her jacket and zipped it up. _Fuck it_ she thought. Didn’t need it anyway. She moved silently around the room dodging the various _toys_ that had been scattered around the room.

All of Shaw’s muscles were sore, her muscles, her jaw, her nipples. Never had she pinned Root as being so… kinky. And to her own annoyance she didn’t realise she was going to have such a good time with Root. The perfect mix of pain and pleasure.

Shaw glanced back at Root who was still peacefully asleep, a sheet lightly thrown over half her body not covering anything really. Shaw rolled her eyes at herself when she realised she was lingering, and quietly slipped out the door.

*

Shaw was on a stake out, whilst she was tediously bored she was also the slightest bit indebted to the fact she was sitting down. Her muscles were still sore and she figured whilst she would still be able to handle herself in a fight, this was probably better. She banged her head back against the headrest mentally begging this guy to come out of the house she was watching, regretting not picking up food on the way, or bringing a gun to clean or literally anything.

Suddenly the car door swung open and a body sat itself in the seat next to her. Shaw turned her head slowly and looked at Root who was staring at her.

“Really?” Root asked and Shaw just rolled her eyes and looked away.

“I’m busy, Root” Shaw said. Root ignored her comment.

“I actually shouldn’t be surprised that you just left” Root said. “But I guess I just thought that after _that_ you just wouldn’t.”

“After what, Root?” Shaw said turning to look at her briefly. “We had sex.”

Root just stared at her, of course it had just been sex to Shaw. But there was no denying that there had been a spark of something more there. The way their bodies moved perfectly against each other. Harmoniously in sync. That wasn’t just a coincidence.

“It was just sex.” Shaw added as though she had caught a hint of what Root was thinking in that silence.

“Was it?” Root asked and Shaw looked at her again.

“Yes.” Shaw said. “And it’s not happening again either.”

“Why not?” Root asked and Shaw groaned loudly.

“Because I told you it was a bad idea” Shaw said. “And it still is.”

“Why because you don’t want to admit you actually had a good time?” Root asked and Shaw stared out the window with her jaw tightly clenched. “You don’t need to lie to me, Sameen.”

“What makes you think I’m lying?” Shaw snapped at Root. “It didn’t mean anything, and we’re not doing it again.”

Root raised an eyebrow. “Then why are you being so… aggressive?”

Shaw rolled her eyes. “Because you’re annoying me.”

“I’m only asking you relatively simple questions.” Root said.

“And that’s annoying” Shaw said. Root smirked.

“I bought you coffee” Root said and held out the takeout coffee in her hands. Shaw stared at the coffee and then looked at Root, taking it from her and shaking her head in frustration.

“Don’t do that again.” Shaw said.

“Buy you coffee?”

“Any of it.”

“Were the nipple clamps too much?” Root asked and Shaw’s fingers tried to tighten around the cup.

“Shut up.” she said and Root just smiled at her.

“See you round, sweetie” Root said and got out of the car. Shaw refused to look at her until she heard the door shut, then glanced back watching Root walking off. _Fuck,_ she thought. _Fucking fuck._

*

The next morning Shaw was stopped to get coffee on her way to Finch’s, she walked in and almost groaned out loud at the line of people that were in there. She ordered her coffee and then joined the crowd of caffeine deprived people, waiting for their order. Stuffing her hands into the pockets of her pants she decided Finch really needed a coffee machine, so she wouldn’t have to go through this every fucking morning.

Suddenly a hand touched her shoulder and she spun around and saw Root, standing right behind her, way too close, their bodies knocked together as Shaw turned. She rolled her eyes.

“What the fuck” she mumbled turning back around and ignoring Root. “You don’t even live around here.”

“I hear they make good coffee” Root said with a smirk and Shaw sighed.

“It’s average.”

“Do you want to come over tonight?” Root asked blatantly and far too loud for Shaw’s liking, seeing several people half turn around she rolled her eyes.

“Root.” she said as a full sentence, her slightly angered and deeply annoyed hopefully being enough for Root to get the message. But, of course that didn’t work.

“Is that a yes?” Root asked.

“No” Shaw said and turned around to look at her with a frown on her face. “It definitely is not.”

“Give me one good reason why not” Root said and Shaw just stared at her.

“Because I don’t want to” Shaw said and Root just shook her head.

“No Sam,” Root said. “You _do_ want to, but if you said yes you’d have to admit you enjoyed it last time.”

“For fuck sake” Shaw muttered and snatched her latte off the bench trying to head towards the door but Root grabbed her by the arm and led her to the closest table. Shaw unwillingly fell into the seat opposite Root and stared at her.

“We need to talk about this” Root said and Shaw rolled her eyes.

“We don’t.”

“Yeah, Sameen” Root said. “We do.”

Shaw sighed loudly and took a long sip of her coffee before looking at Root.

“I don’t do relationships” Shaw said straight up and Root arched an eyebrow.

“Who said anything about a relationship?”

“You do, all the time” Shaw said. “It’s implied.”

Root almost smirked.

“I don’t care” Root said and Shaw looked confused.

“About?”

“You don’t do relationships” Root shrugged. “This doesn’t have to be anything other than sex.”

“Since when has that ever worked?” Shaw practically rolled her eyes in amusement.

“People like us don’t like letting other people in, Sameen” Root said pulling Shaw’s coffee from her hands and taking a sip much to Shaw’s immediate annoyance. “That’s why this would work.”

Shaw sighed. “It’s a bad idea.”

“So you keep saying” Root said “But it didn’t seem like such a bad idea to you when you were on your fourth orgasm, handcuffed to my headboard.”

A few neighbouring heads turned in shock and Shaw wanted to lurch across the table and throttle Root into silence. This girl didn’t know subtlety if it was written on her forehead.

“But you have…emotions” Shaw said and Root laughed.

“So does the rest of the world, Sam, but don’t you think I’m better than having some other poor soul desperately pining after you after one really good night?”

“I don’t know that already kinda sounds like you” Shaw said and Root rolled her eyes.

“Just say yes, Sameen” Root said. “Coffee and handcuffs isn’t a bad deal.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i know what you want and it's coming ;) good things take time hehe
> 
> let me know what you think so far, it's definitely fun to write classic root x shaw!
> 
> thank you for reading (both)! xxxx


	3. Chapter 3

Shaw found herself outside Root’s door that night. She was annoyed by it to say the least, but she also knew the longer she pretended it didn’t phase her the more Root would bother her. And why play that game, she thought. They had fantastic sex, she couldn’t deny that.

Shaw lifted her hand to knock on Root’s door and paused, there would be no going back after this, at least for Root. Shaw could call it quits after this. But she knew Root wouldn’t. Shaw sighed, rolling her eyes as she tapped her knuckles on the door.

She heard footsteps and moments later the door swung open.

Root knew who it was before she even opened the door, leaning against the doorway with a smirk as she looked at Shaw.

“Well,” she said. “Look who changed their mind.”

Shaw rolled her eyes and brushed past Root into her place, the fact Root was in nothing but socks and an oversized shirt didn’t go unnoticed by her either.

“You know what” Shaw said throwing her jacket at the couch and realising already the routine that was forming, mentally kicking herself for letting this happen. Or for initiating this particular moment in the first place. “I just came to see if you had any food.”

Shaw stared into Root’s kitchen and didn’t notice Root coming up behind her until suddenly there were hands wrapping around her hips, sliding slowly down towards her crotch. Root’s breath was against Shaw’s neck.

“I know what you can eat” Root said softly and Shaw grabbed Root’s hands and spun around to face her.

“If anyone finds out about this,” Shaw said her voice low, she let go of Root and ran her hands down Root’s inner thighs. “I’m gonna get angry, and you know what happens when I get angry” Shaw said and Root just stared at her, dark eyes, lips parted. “You’re gonna get in trouble.” Shaw continued hitching up Root’s oversized top and pressing her fingers to Root’s centre.

A small gasp escaped from Root’s mouth. “And not this kind of trouble, the dead kind.” Shaw said and moved her hand away.

“I’m glad you came over” Root said as if she hadn’t heard a word of what Shaw was just saying. Shaw looked at her, there was something unsettling about the look in Root’s eyes the she looked at Shaw like that. It was probably the way ever girl dreamed about being looked at by someone, but Shaw didn’t know what that would feel like. And even more than that, she didn’t want someone to look at her that way. What was she ever supposed to do with that look?

“Let’s just do this okay” Shaw said with a slight grouch to her voice and Root just smirked.

“Do you want a drink?” Root asked. “I have whiskey.”

“Fine.” Shaw said and let Root lead her into the kitchen, she opened a cabinet and pulled out a half finished bottle of whiskey handing it to Shaw.

Shaw unscrewed the lid, her eyes fixed on Root as she took a long swig from it. She put it back down on the counter and Root smirked.

“Take it with you.” Root said and Shaw lifted an eyebrow then watched Root’s eyes flick towards her bedroom.

Shaw swiped the bottle back off the counter, taking another long sip as she followed Root into the bedroom, by the time they walked through the door Root was completely naked. She turned around and Shaw practically crashed into her, looking up at her face and seeing that arrogant smirk again.

Root just looked at her, taking in every detail. She tucked a strand of Shaw’s loose hair behind her ear then took the whiskey from Shaw’s hand, taking a delicate sip, and then ran her tongue over her lips.

“We’re gonna play a little game” Root said and Shaw just stared at her, her mouth practically watering. She couldn’t pretend she wasn’t entirely turned on by Root. “You have to lick the whiskey off my body before it gets to the floor.”

Shaw raised an eyebrow. “And if it gets to the floor?”

“I guess you’ll find out” Root said and pushed Shaw down by the shoulders.

“If you waterboard me with whiskey I’ll be pissed” Shaw said dropping to her knees and looking up at Root who was still smirking.

“Are you ready?” Root asked tipping the bottle towards her chest. Shaw ran her tongue across the front of her teeth, a small smirk playing at the corners of her mouth. She watched the bottle closely, tipping further down until suddenly a stream of whiskey was coming straight towards her face. With perfect timing she stuck her tongue out and caught the end of the perfect stream right before it hit Root’s belly button. Her hands on Root’s hips she got off the floor, her tongue still on Root’s stomach, she dragged it all the way up her body, licking up the trail of whiskey. The sweet smell of Root’s skin filling her nose, she ran her tongue between Root’s breasts, feeling Root’s breath hitch in her chest. Shaw stopped when she got to Root’s collarbone and licked her lips, face to face with Root.

Root stared at her, Shaw could see she was already a little flustered, not that she would admit it.

“I think that was too easy for you” Root said putting a hand on Shaw’s head and pushing her back down. When Shaw looked back up at Root’s body there was already more than one stream of whiskey coming towards her. She did a brief calculation before going _fuck it_ in her head and chasing the first stream of whiskey around Root’s body, following it to around her side, and lightly biting Root’s hip when she had cleaned it up. Then she moved back around, her hands roaming over Root’s sides, her tongue dragging slowly across her soft skin, licking up the whiskey, occasionally sucking on her stomach leaving tiny red marks, nipping at Root’s hips. And then she got back to her feet, her hands on Root’s waist, she looked at her then down at one whiskey covered nipple and smirked.

“Dessert” Shaw said and immediately moved forward. Root gasped at the feeling of Shaw’s tongue running a circle around her nipple, closing in on it slowly before catching it between her teeth and letting her tongue touch the tip lightly. Before the whole thing went in her mouth and she sucked the whiskey clean off. When Shaw looked back at Root she could see the pink creeping into Root’s cheeks, her light brown eyes were almost completely overrun by her dilated pupils.

Shaw pried the whiskey bottle from Root’s hands and took a sip, swilling it around her mouth before setting it down on the ground. When she stood back up she started pulling her clothes off, Root was content to watch… for a moment. And then suddenly she shoved Shaw back onto the bed, the moment her pants were off. Shaw let out a groan as she fell back and then Root climbed on top of her and grinded down, before laying down completely on top of Shaw. Shaw felt Root’s sticky whiskey body against her own, the warm of their skin touching, the stickiness as Root moved on top of her. Shaw let her head fall back and Root just looked at her with a smile.

“What do you want?” Root asked and Shaw looked back at her.

“Anything” Shaw answered and Root lifted an eyebrow.

“You shouldn’t say that, what if I want my sparkly pink dick up your ass?”

Shaw cringed and Root just smirked.

“So, what do you want?” Root pressed her hips down on Shaw, rocking back and forth a little. Shaw had to think quickly, but it wasn’t quick enough. Root’s hand slid up and her long fingers wrapped around Shaw’s throat lightly, she continued moving against Shaw with that arrogant smirk on her face, her grip slowly tightening, her hair fallen to one side and tickling Shaw’s skin.

Suddenly Shaw found herself smiling as Root’s hand got tighter and tighter around her throat.

“You like that?” Root purred and Shaw just nodded underneath her.

Shaw’s submissive nature with Root had taken them both by surprise the other night when they had fucked for the first time. And Root hadn’t wasted that opportunity by a second. Root’s kinks had somehow been completely unsurprising, for someone who could unabashedly flirt for months with Shaw and receive nothing in return, it was obvious that she could pull out her box of dildos and whips and not bat an eyelid.

“Get up.” Root said suddenly and in a swift manoeuvre got off Shaw and the bed.

“Why?” Shaw asks feeling hot with arousal. Root just shoots her a look and Shaw quickly sits up. Root wandered over to the other side of the room and started looking through one of her draws. Shaw stared at her in disbelief, feeling the sticky mess between her own legs and letting her hand slip around her thigh, a finger pushing through her wetness a small stifled moan falling like a breath from her lips.

Root turned around at lightening speed hearing that sound and glared at Shaw’s hand.

“Oh no” Root said and Shaw just stared at her as she came over, handcuffs in one hand, a small knife in the other. “You shouldn’t have done that.”

Shaw looked at the knife in Root’s hand, then looked up so their eyes met. She knew Root wouldn’t hurt her, but that didn’t stop her heart from suddenly picking up speed. Root grabbed her by the wrist and yanked her towards the wall, where she slapped the metal on one of Shaw’s wrists then pulled her arm up, threading it through the shelf support above her head, before taking Shaw’s other wrist and fastening that to the other cuff.

Shaw glared at her, her biceps bulging as she rattled the cuffs realising quickly that she was stuck. And Root was still holding the knife. Shaw exhaled heavily through her nose as Root moved closer to her.

“I haven’t decided what I want to do with you yet” Root said touching the sharp blade lightly to Shaw’s stomach just above her belly button. Shaw gasped as she felt it poke her, and watched as Root ran it up her stomach grazing her skin making it sting just a little, she stopped before Shaw’s chest.

“Frankly I don’t think you’re ready for what I want to do” she continued flicking the edge of the knife against Shaw’s nipple.

“I’m ready” Shaw practically growled and Root just smiled, letting the knife clatter from her hand onto the floor, taking Shaw’s hips and pulling them against her.

“I’m so hot for you” Root whispered into the crook of Shaw’s neck, her hot breath making Shaw groan and try and press herself closer into the other woman. But suddenly Root pulls back, and drops to her knees in front of Shaw.

“Spread your legs” she demands and without further question Shaw’s legs open. “If you start losing feeling in any of your limbs, suck it up” Root said and glanced up at Shaw with a smirk, before kissing along Shaw’s thigh for a hot second. Suddenly Shaw felt Root’s hands wrap around her legs and grab her ass, bringing her closer and then a ripple of pleasure pulsed through her body as she felt Root’s tongue against her clit. She went in fast, lavishing her pussy. Shaw’s mouth fell open as a moan rolled out.

“Fuck” she growled feeling her wrists burn as she tugged at the cuffs.

Root smiled against Shaw feeling her body tense with every lick, she loved feeling Shaw’s heat and wetness. She licked and sucked messily, feeling Shaw squirm against her, hearing her bang her head back against the wall as she tried indulge even further. Shaw’s wrists burned red hot against the cuffs as they cut into her as she strained hard on them unable to take the pleasure that was vibrating through her body. Her legs were starting to get pins and needles, slowly losing feeling, but she didn’t complain, she didn’t say anything not even when her vision started dotting. The pleasure was too much, she bucked against Root’s mouth, feeling so close to going over the edge. Root’s chin dripped with Shaw’s arousal, she sucked hard on Shaw’s clit while slipping two fingers inside her and pumping hard. Shaw cried out, her head hitting the wall again. Her body slick with sweat, everything tensing as she tried to hold her weight, feeling herself almost hanging from the cuffs. She was so close to climax, then suddenly Root pulled away, drawing her fingers out and licking them clean.

Shaw’s face was flushed, her eyes dark as they stared at Root in horror.

“What are you doing?” Shaw asked and Root just took a couple of steps back and threw herself onto the bed.

“You’re so sexy when you moan” Root said looking at Shaw from where she lay on the bed, fingering herself lazily. Shaw watched Root’s hand, her mouth almost watering. Shaw rattled the cuffs and groaned.

“Let me go” Shaw said her voice low. Root didn’t pay any attention, she moaned softly as she pushed her fingers further into herself, her back arching off the bed. Shaw growled.

“Root,” she said. “I’ll break your shelf.”

Root opened her eyes and looked at Shaw. “You’re not strong enough.” Root said and Shaw just frowned.

“Want me to try?” Shaw said and Root just sighed, getting off the bed and fetching the key from the nightstand, she unlocked Shaw and let the cuffs drop to the ground beside the knife before laying back down on the bed. Shaw rubbed her wrists, they were gonna bruise, deep red marks burned like fire already.

She crawled onto the bed on all fours and looked at Root who just smirked.

“Lay down.” Root said and Shaw quickly lay down beside Root who rolled back on top of her. “Legs.” Root said and Shaw let her legs fall open underneath Root who immediately slipped her hand down there, Shaw still completely soaked. She pressed her thumb to Shaw’s clit and massaged it letting Shaw get back to where she was before. Then driving two fingers into her hard. Root watched her face closely, making sure she was okay. And she certainly was.

“Fuck, Root” Shaw groaned loudly, her fingers gripping the sheets so tightly Root thought she might rip them, not that she gave a shit.

“You’re gonna take three, okay sweetie” Root said softly and added another finger that made Shaw buck underneath her.

“Holy…” Shaw mumbled but the rest of her sentence was cut off by Root’s free hand gripping her throat.

“Keep your eyes on me, Sameen” Root instructed and Shaw flashed open her eyes looking at Root. “You could take my whole fist if you really tried.”

Shaw breathed heavily through her nose as Root squeezed tight on her throat. Between the pleasure of being pounded by Root’s long fingers and the asphyxiation, black dots started appearing in Shaw’s vision and she thought for sure she was about to lose consciousness. But her orgasm was so close, she couldn’t bare to miss. Holding on with everything she had, she pressed her hips up into Root’s hand, feeling the lack of air getting to her head as Root held tightly on her throat, their eyes locked on each other, Root’s breath on her face.

She was so close, everything was so tight and sore, and then she was over the edge into oblivion, filled with ecstasy, and then suddenly she was fading.

*

When Shaw opened her eyes she found herself naked on Root’s bed. She rolled over and saw Root next to her reading Emma. Shaw frowned. Her muscles screamed, her wrists were tender and aching.

“What happened?” Shaw asked and Root looked up from the book.

“You passed out” Root said with a shrug. “I think we’re gonna have to work on that before you take it up the ass.”

Shaw stared at her blankly. “What the fuck.” she muttered before letting herself lay back down on the bed and stare up at the ceiling. Her throat felt sore and perhaps a little swollen, but she didn’t care. Despite the aches, she felt great. Then suddenly Root was hovering above her with a smile. Goddamn it she was pretty. Her lips were pink, her eyes were dark, and she had the softest skin, Shaw just wanted to run her hands over Root's body and kiss her.

“You okay?” Root asked.

“I’m good” Shaw said and Root leaned down and kissed her nose.

“Can you not leave this time?” Root asked and Shaw just sighed.

“If I fall asleep here, it’s by total accident” Shaw said and Root just beamed, tucking herself back down beside Shaw.

“I do have food by the way,” Root said with a small smile and Shaw turned to look at her and rolled her eyes. “I can make you eggs?” Root suggested and Shaw just looked back at the ceiling, feeling Root’s body pressed warmly against hers. Shaw hated the fact she didn’t mind this, she didn’t mind Root against her, that she didn’t mind not immediately leaving, that she almost agreed to let Root make her eggs. This is not who Shaw was. And it frustrated her. But what she had right now, with the most beautiful woman in the world next to her, and a body aching from sex, it really wasn’t so bad.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thoughts? 
> 
> i need holy water.


	4. Chapter 4

When Shaw woke up again she was staring at that very same purple lava lamp. The little bubbles floating in front of her face as soon as she opened her eyes. Her jaw clenched as she realised where she was. She felt warm, like way too warm. And then she realised that she had Root’s naked body pressed against hers. She rolled over in Root’s bed and pushed Root off her with a frown.

“Don’t spoon me” Shaw grumbled but Root was still half asleep. Shaw sat up and stared at the body next to her. _This, again_ she thought with an internal groan. But instead of getting up to leave quietly, she just pressed a finger into Root’s shoulder deeply, enough for her to let out a mumble and her eyes fluttered open.

“Don’t” Root muttered lashing her arm out at the air and Shaw quickly pulled her hand back, waiting for Root to notice, and remember that she was there.

Root rubbed her eyes and looked sleepily at Shaw, not saying anything, she blinked a couple of times.

“You’re here” Root said.

“You asked me to stay” Shaw said with a shrug. “Can I go now?”

Root stared at her then frowned suddenly. “No you can’t.”

Shaw let out a sigh.”Why?”

Root grabbed Shaw by the arm and pulled her back down so she was laying flat on her back, Root rolled onto her stomach and crossed her arms over Shaw’s chest, leaning her chin on them and staring at Shaw.

“Did you have fun last night?” Root asked and Shaw just stared at her with dark eyes, messy hair.

“Sure, Root” Shaw answered and Root narrowed her eyes.

“Okay now give me your honest answer” Root said.

“That was” Shaw frowned.

“No that was a generic bullshit answer” Root said “Did you have fun?”

“My muscles hurt” Shaw answered and Root smirked.

“Better.”

“Are you gonna keep me pinned here?” Shaw asked “Because I have things to do today.”

“Like me?” Root asked quirking an eyebrow and Shaw rolled her eyes.

“No, you’re not on my list” Shaw said.

“You keep a list?” Root enquired, “that’s oddly domestic”

“Or efficient” Shaw pointed out with a half eye roll.

Root just stared at her, her light brown eyes wandering over Shaw’s face as if she were trying to memorise every detail, or figuring out a puzzle. Shaw didn’t know what to make of the expression on Root’s face, the only thing it provoked was an ounce of concern about the fact Root may be getting too attached already.

“Do you want breakfast?” Root asked suddenly and Shaw stared at her.

“Is that a trick question?”

“No Sameen,” Root said “I’m asking if you’re hungry”

Shaw just watched her closely and Root started to smile.

“I’m gonna take that as a yes” she said and pulled herself off Shaw, climbing off the bed and walking towards the bathroom, giving Shaw yet another chance to admire her naked body, so long and lean.

“I’m taking a shower first” Root called out as Shaw heard the water starting to run. She remained lying on the bed staring at the ceiling wondering what the fuck she was doing. Leave now, Shaw. She told herself. Go. Get up and go, before this gets entirely out of hand.

Suddenly Root’s head popped around the bathroom door.

“That was an offer” Root said with a smirk and Shaw raised an eyebrow, Root kicked the door open wide and wandered back to the shower. Shaw was off the bed in a flash.

*

Root was in the kitchen by the time Shaw collected herself after an accidental round three. She had never thought about having shower sex with Root before. She didn’t know why it had never crossed her mind. Especially after that. She felt like she could hardly breathe through the thick steam and hot water, with Root’s wet body pressed so tightly against hers. Shaw stared at herself with a frown in Root’s mirror running both hands through her wet hair, before letting out a frustrated puff of air and walking back into the bedroom. She glanced at the bed as she picked her shirt up off the floor and pulled it on, trying to block the images of Root from last night. She couldn’t do this. Not with Root. She didn’t even _like_ Root, she was annoying and always had the answer, and was tall, and took sugar in her coffee, and stole Shaw’s food, and looked at her with those flirty dark eyes. Fuck. Shaw thought as she walked into the main room, seeing Root standing at the kitchen counter in her underwear, wet hair against her back. _End this, Sameen. Now_ she tried to tell herself. But then Root turned around hearing Shaw’s footsteps.

“Hey sexy” Root said with a smile. It wasn’t one of her overly flirtatious smiles, not one where her eyes were dark and lustrous. This was just a smile, a happy smile. Shaw had only ever seen that smile when Root was talking to The Machine.

“Hey” Shaw said and threw herself into one of the chairs at Root’s small kitchen table by the window. Shaw picked up the mug of coffee that was waiting for her and stared out the window, refusing to let herself look at Root. She couldn’t figure out why this was so hard. Why did she _care_. She was she caring. She shouldn’t care. That was the problem.

“Ow, shit” Root hissed from the counter and Shaw immediately looked over at her.

“What?”

“I burnt my finger” Root said turning around holding her index finger up with a frown.

“Run it under water” Shaw said glancing at the pan behind her and then at Root briefly.

Root almost smirked. “Thank you doctor” she said turning the tap on and sticking her finger under it, wincing a little.

Shaw watched her for a second before putting her coffee down and getting up. For fuck sake, Sameen, she internally rolled her eyes at herself.

“Let me see” Shaw said her lips barely moving as she pulled Root’s finger out from under the water and inspected the tip.

“Will we have to amputate?” Root asked staring directly at Shaw, who glanced up and caught her eyes.

“Put it back under the water” Shaw rolled her eyes and let go of Root’s hand, Root left her hand there lingering for a moment before she stuck her finger back under the water.

Shaw turned back to the pan, putting the mit on and picking it up flipping the pancake over and then flipping it onto the plate with the others. She picked the plate up and went to move back to the table when she caught Root staring at her.

“What?” she asked grabbing a knife and the jar of nutella off the counter as she sat back down at the table. Root turned the tap off and slid into the seat opposite Shaw.

“Nothing” Root said with a shrug and Shaw just frowned.

“Tell me.”

Root raised an eyebrow “I just never see you doing normal stuff.”

“You see me eating all the time” Shaw said. Root said nothing. “Are you impressed because I flipped a pancake?”

Root smirked. “Maybe.”

“Just because I don’t actively participate in societal activities doesn’t mean I don’t know how they work” Shaw said and stuffed a forkful of pancake into her mouth. Root smiled.

“Pancakes are a societal activity?”

“Shut up” Shaw mumbled through her mouthful. She knew Root was still looking at her, she could feel those eyes on her, just watching quietly. It was the look behind those eyes that was what Shaw felt uncomfortable about. Root would get hurt, she knew it.

“So I’ve been thinking” Root said and Shaw glanced up at her.

“Mhm?”

“This isn’t gonna work” Root said bluntly and Shaw almost choked on her pancake.

“What?” she spluttered and Root just looked at her.

“You heard me, Sam” Root said and Shaw just frowned.

“Yeah and now I’m waiting for the explanation” Shaw said and stared at her.

“You know as well as I do this won’t end well for me” Root said. The frown flickered on Shaw’s face.

“Why do you say that?” Shaw asked wondering how Root knew. Or whether she was just that obvious.

“C’mon Sameen” Root rolled her eyes with a smile. “As if you weren’t gonna say the exact same thing as you left”

“I thought you would at least protest” Shaw said with a shrug and Root just stared at her.

“You don’t want this to happen again, do you?” Root said.

 _I do_ Shaw thought. “No” Shaw answered.

“And it’s because of me right?” Root asked.

“Root we don’t-” Shaw started but Root just shook her head.

“I think you’re wrong” Root said and Shaw raised an eyebrow. “So maybe this works out really badly for me, because you don’t have feelings and I have a lot of feelings, but maybe someday along the line this actually becomes a good thing”

Shaw frowned.

“For both of us” Root said and Shaw just looked out the window.

“Kinda wish you were a sociopath too” Shaw said and Root smiled to herself at the backhanded compliment.

“Thank you for staying” Root said quietly and Shaw just glanced at her. _Why did this feel like an awkward break up?_ She thought. _Fuck my life._

Shaw just nodded slightly. Root chewed her lip.

“Are you gonna make this weird?” Shaw asked finally. Root arched an eyebrow.

“We’re both adults, Sameen” Root said. “I know you think you’re doing the right thing here, because of whatever deep down instinct you have to protect me, but I can handle myself, I’m a big girl”

Shaw just stared at her blankly. _Deep down instinct to protect me_. She clenched her jaw.

“But I will also respect what you want, and I’ll let you try, but sweetie, it won’t stick” Root said and Shaw almost frowned in shock. Oh it was gonna stick. They couldn’t do this again. No matter what Root said.

“This is not going to happen again” Shaw said out loud, and Root knew it was mainly to herself.

“Okay” Root said with a small smile as she stood up and leaned across the table, placing a kiss on the corner of Shaw’s mouth before leaving the table.

“We’ll see.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I haven't been updating regularly! I'm pretty much working 6 day weeks in between all my commitments and I graduate at the end of the year so I have to put boring uni assignments first at the moment!
> 
> But I haven't forgotten about you I promise!!!! I will keep going! on this and Breakfast and Sex! Hopefully you stay tuned and bare with me, one more crazy week and then I'll be back.
> 
> Love you guys!
> 
> Let me know your thoughts on this chapter!! ;)   
> xx


	5. Chapter 5

She didn’t mean it, Shaw thought as she walked down the road following a number. There is no way she meant it. She was just doing it because she thought that’s what Shaw wanted, and she wanted to prove her wrong. She didn’t mean it. She couldn’t have meant it, Shaw thought. Root wouldn’t just throw her aside like that after endless months of practically sexually harassing her at every opportunity. Shaw frowned to herself. Root wanted her, she made it obvious. But… what if she had meant it. If she had got what she wanted and then changed her mind? Shaw growled under her breath, why the fuck was she suddenly doubting herself so much. Frustration rushed through her veins.

It had been three days since she had seen Root. Or heard from her even. The last time they saw each other Shaw was walking out of her apartment and Root didn’t stand and watch till she was out of sight. She simply said goodbye to Shaw and then shut the door.

It now seemed like it had been an eternity of silence, there were blissful moments that made up most of Shaw’s day where she completely forgot about that part of her life and was heavily focused on the numbers. Shooting, saving, repeat. Then suddenly, out of nowhere in a pushy and overly annoying way just like Root, she would remember that silence. And suddenly the decent day she was having would slide down the fucking drain and she would be left wondering about a whole lot of shit that shouldn’t even be occurring to her in the first place.

 _“Everything okay Ms Shaw?”_ Even Finch knew something was off with her the second she walked into his library and kicked a chair over for being in her way.

_“Have you seen Root?”_

_“Why? What’s she done now?”_ Finch had replied to her question not noticing the hitch in her voice as she asked. She didn’t want to fucking ask where Root was, it’s not like she cared, or was gonna go and find her. She wouldn’t do that, she wouldn’t let herself. But for some reason she still asked anyway. Finch hadn’t said anything else and Shaw immediately disregarded the fact she had asked and both of them moved on to their new number.

*

“Hey Harry” Root smiled as she walked into Finch’s library. Finch looked up from his computer with an eyebrow arched at Root’s unusually perky tone.

“Ms Groves” Finch said with a nod of acknowledgement. Root wandered over to his desk and perched on the end of it, picking up a donut from the box beside Finch and taking a bite of one.

“Ms Shaw was looking for you earlier” Finch said wearily unsure whether he should be informing her of this or not.

“Really?” Root’s whole face perked up a little more and Finch looked up at her. “What did she say?”

“She asked if I’d seen you” Finch said and continued typing.

“And what did you say?”

“I’d asked what you’d done” Finch said and Root frowned.

“Why did you assume I’d done something?”

Finch glanced up at her again. “I can’t imagine any other reason Ms Shaw would be looking for you, unless you had done something particularly unsavoury”

Root smirked a little and licked the icing off her finger.

“You’re right Harry” Root said with a grin “I did do something, several things actually, but I was under the impression she enjoyed it.”

Finch looked at her with a raised eyebrow and a faint hint of confusion until an unpleasant realisation settled over his face and he looked away, only imagining the worse.

“I take it she didn’t find you” Finch said and Root just shrugged.

“I don’t think she even looked.”

Finch ignored her, not wanting to get caught up in whatever strange business Root was conducting.

Root swung her legs on the desk and looked out the window in contemplation of Shaw.

“Harry” she said slowly.

“Yes Ms Groves?” Finch answered.

“What do you do if someone likes you but pretends they don’t?” Root asked and Finch frowned at his screen.

“I don’t think I’m the right person to be consulting about these aspects of your life” Finch said.

“But what would you do?” Root asked again and Finch turned to look at them.

“What can you do Ms Groves?” Finch answered simply and she frowned.

“That was not the answer I wanted” Root pouted and jumped off his desk, grabbing her jacket where she had dropped it and sauntered towards the door.

“Thanks for the donut, Harry” Root called out “Tell Sameen I say hi.”

Finch frowned in confusion.

*

Root wandered through Central Park, The Machine didn’t say why She wanted Root here but at this point Root didn’t mind. She was enjoying the sunshine and the fresh air. She liked watching others live their lives, entirely naive and oblivious to the world around them. The war that was constantly being fought. But for some reason today she wasn’t noticing the idiots that surrounded her daily life, she wasn’t making internal criticisms about them and their idiocy. Instead she was looking at them with the tiniest hint of jealousy. Root couldn’t help but notice all of the couples in the park today. Holding hands, leaning against one another, looking at each other longingly. They were picnicking, and riding bikes and laughing and smiling and chasing their children and dogs and oh my god. Root stopped walking. This was _not_ happening. This couldn’t be happening. She couldn’t possibly…

Root looked up from the ground, immediately seeing a girl with long blonde hair jumping into the arms of a handsome young guy. Her laugh filled the air like a bell.

Root stared at her, somehow unable to look away. Somehow unable to not think about Shaw. About what it might be like if she were to have a happy ending. Not that it were possible. And with Shaw? Was she actually crazy? Sameen was a sociopath. She didn’t have feelings, she didn’t care. Or rather, she wasn’t supposed to care. Root knew somewhere inside that black heart of hers she did give a damn, but as if she would ever admit that.

Root turned on her heel and walked straight back out of the park, despite The Machine telling her she needed to stay put. Root couldn’t handle it. She didn’t know whether there was actually a number or if The Machine just wanted her to watch happy fucking couples all afternoon and remind herself of things she could never have.

Root folded her arms as she walked down the road. She thought about Shaw. She couldn’t help it. Root hadn’t been able to stop regretting pushing Shaw away like that, giving her what she wanted before Shaw could even say it. She couldn’t help wonder if maybe she’d been wrong, what if that isn’t what Shaw wanted. What if she’d tossed Shaw out for no reason. Stop it, she thought. Shaw said it herself, she didn’t want it to happen again.

And Shaw was stubborn. But so was Root.

Root sighed, it made her happy to know that at least Shaw had asked about her earlier today. Shaw did care, that much was obvious. Root stopped under a lamp post and looked up at the camera attached to it.

“Where is she?” Root asked and stared at the little red flashing dot. “I’ll go back into the park if you just tell me where she is.”

*

Root could see Shaw ahead of her. She had her gym bag slung over one shoulder, she was in shorts and a tank that was clinging to her body with sweat. She had just walked into a bodega, Root watched from the other side of the road. For some reason a filled with hesitance to follow Shaw in.

There was something about a feeling that had been jolted out from inside her this afternoon in the park that made Root feel strange about being near Shaw. It wasn’t like suddenly there was a feeling that had appeared out of nowhere. She _knew_ how she felt about Shaw. And she had at least she thought she was peace with the fact she liked Shaw, like a lot. But suddenly she was left wondering if maybe it was more than that.

Before she could overthink it again she crossed the road and went in.

Shaw grabbed a bottle of water and a packet of gum and dropped it on the counter as she fished in her bag for money. Suddenly a hand slipped around her and dropped the exact change on the counter in front of the guy, and Shaw felt a soft kiss touch the back of her neck sending a shiver down her spine. Root.

“Should I be filing for a restraining order?” Shaw asked grabbing her water and turning around to see Root behind her.

“I don’t know Sameen” Root said “Last I heard you were looking for me, so that could be counterproductive”

Shaw rolled her eyes and pushed past Root towards the door. Root followed close behind her.

“What do you want, Root?” Shaw asked taking a sip from the water, refusing to look at the other woman.

“You know what” Root replied and Shaw glanced at her.

“It’s not happening” Shaw said firmly. “We talked about this.”

“And you’re being ridiculous” Root pointed out. “Why deny yourself something that you enjoy?”

Shaw rolled her eyes again. “Chocolate is something I enjoy but it’s not good for you.”

“That’s debatable” Root said with a shrug “and only crazy people don’t eat chocolate.”

“Are you calling me crazy?” Shaw asked “because last time I checked-”

“I’m the crazy one” Root finished with a smirk. “So, you have to be reasonable for us to balance each other out.”

“No one is balancing anyone else” Shaw said trying to walk faster, but as if she had any chance of outstepping Root’s stupidly long legs.

“But we already do Sam” Root said, Shaw could feel Root’s eyes burning the side of her head daring her to turn around and look. But Shaw didn’t. She wouldn’t let herself.

“We can barely stand each other” Shaw said and Root smirked.

“Again, debatable” Root said “Considering you’ve stayed at my place, and we’ve slept together… more than once.”

“It was just sex” Shaw said and Root felt a light sting of Shaw’s harsh tone. “It happened, the end.”

“Wow, why don’t you tell me how you really feel Sameen” Root said sarcastically and Shaw turned to look at her, shocked by her sudden brash tone. Shaw hadn’t realised her comment had hit Root quite that hard.

“It won’t work” Shaw said and looked at Root finally, their eyes meeting. As if she were quickly trying to make up for the fact seconds ago she had whipped Root with her words, and the abrupt sarcasm from Root had made her stomach twist into a knot.

“You don’t know that” Root said.

“I do” Shaw said.

Root sighed loudly.

“What are you doing for dinner?” Root asked and Shaw just stared at her with a frown.

“No” was all Shaw said and Root smirked.

“I think we should go and eat a shit ton of spring rolls” Root said with a shrug.

“Why would I agree to that?” Shaw asked.

“Because Sameen” Root said folding her arms over her chest “eating food with me is different from sex, just because you are trying not to fuck me again doesn’t mean we still can’t be civilised” Root said loudly and several people passing by made a point of glancing at them with intrigue or frowns.

Shaw wanted to duct tape Root’s mouth shut.

“I didn’t realise civilised was part of our vocabulary” Shaw said and Root just smiled. “What?”

“You said _our_ ” Root said and Shaw rolled her eyes with a groan.

“Maybe if I just shoot you this would all stop” Shaw said looking at Root “forever.”

“Please Sam, you’d miss me too much” Root said with a smile and Shaw frowned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i pinky promise i haven't forgotten about you! here's the deal; i'm super fucking busy at the moment, like hellishly so, thus updating is not a daily thing if I want to get enough sleep to function like a normal human.  
> Buuuut I still want to write, typically, so this story is getting updated more then Breakfast and Sex for now because I want to make the next chapter of B&S really good for you guys which is gonna require my brain and less stress.   
> So more is coming, as always. thank you so much for your endless support and bearing with me as I get through these mounds of shit, next week is gonna be so much less stressful. I am coming back.
> 
> For nowwwwwww let me know what you think of this chapter... they're so amusing in the early stages of their relationship, how are you digging this cat and mouse dynamic? i think Root might just have her caught ;)
> 
> xxx
> 
> ps many thousands of apologies for any typos/grammatical errors, i literally can't hold my eyes open long enough to edit x


	6. Chapter 6

“I don’t need you to walk me home” Shaw said huffing loudly in frustration as Root followed her along the road like a puppy.

“Too bad” Root said and Shaw growled.

“Do you really think I can’t handle anything that could possibly happen?” Shaw asked and Root rolled her eyes.

“Beside the point Sam,” Root said looking at her. “People walk each other home sometimes, it’s polite and chivalrous”

“Chivalry has nothing to do with this” Shaw said and Root smirked.

“Everyone likes manners Sam” Root said and Shaw just frowned.

“Seriously, I can walk myself home” Shaw said knowing there was no point in trying to stop Root.

“I know” Root said “But maybe I just want to see your place”

“You’ve been to my place” Shaw pointed out “you broke in and tasered me in my sleep”

“That was in the dark” Root said quickly and Shaw rolled her eyes.

“Whatever” Shaw mumbled. “It’s not like I’m gonna be letting you come up anyway.”

“Why not?” Root asked and Shaw just glared at her.

“You’re not serious?”

Root just shrugged.

“Root stop it” Shaw frowned. “I’ve said _no_ ”

“No is just a word Sameen” Root said “And if you want my opinion it doesn’t sound very convincing when you say it.”

Shaw stared at her in disbelief. It was like Root could see straight through her. She didn’t like it.

“Luckily I didn’t ask for your opinion” Shaw shot back and Root just smirked, walking close enough to Shaw so that their shoulders bumped together. Shaw moved away slightly.Root raised an eyebrow.

“Wow” she said in genuine surprise. “You really are being weird about this.”

Shaw frowned to saying anything, and refused to look in Root’s direction.

“This abstinence thing is really getting to you” Root continued and Shaw clenched her jaw.

“I’m not restraining” Shaw said. “We did it, and now we’re not, there’s nothing…else”

Root watched her closely, noting every detail on her face, whether Shaw realised it or not Root saw every tiny expression. She may not have the full spectrum of feelings, but her face certainly revealed enough for Root to notice things. For example, the way her eyebrows twitched in an annoyed frown, not at Root, but at herself, the way her sarcastic responses didn’t quite have the same punchiness as they did when she meant them. There were little Shaw tells that Root couldn’t help but pick up.

“That doesn’t bother you?” Root asked. “Like at all?”

“No” Shaw said through gritted teeth. “I don’t _care_ ”

“Okay” Root said with a shrug letting Shaw have that one. “So if you could take us out of context, and push me up against a wall right now and kiss me… would you?”

Shaw stared at Root.

“Why would you ask me that?”

“Don’t deflect” Root said and folded her arms.

“No, I wouldn’t” Shaw answered mirroring Root and folding her arms.

“You’re lying” Root said with a slight smile and Shaw narrowed her eyes.

“I’m not.” Shaw insisted and then glanced at the building Root was standing in front of. “This is me.”

Shaw said and Root glanced behind her.

“Are you gonna invite me up?” Root asked and Shaw brushed past her.

“Not a chance” Shaw said and Root smirked as Shaw’s scent drifted past her nose.

“Sameen” Root said as Shaw searched her pocket for her keys.

“What Root?” Shaw asked.

“Can you just tell me why?” Root asked and Shaw glanced up at her.

“You said it yourself” Shaw shrugged. “It’s you.”

Root frowned a little. “And that bothers you?”

Shaw said nothing.

“Do you… _care_ about me Sameen?”

Shaw stayed silent.

“Do you think you’re going to hurt me?”

Shaw jammed the key into the lock of the door to her apartment building.

“Do you think I can’t handle myself around you?” Root asked her tone changing a little to frustration. “Do you think that because we’re sleeping together I’m suddenly going to expect more from you, because I know you better than that Sameen, in fact everyone knows that you don’t do relationships, you make that quite clear. But I’m not asking for a relationship, I like your company and I like having sex with you” Root said and folded her arms neatly across her chest. Shaw looked back at her. _God it was tempting_. But she couldn’t do it, she couldn’t just let herself give in like that. She knew it would get messy and tangled and fuck it, maybe she didn’t want Root to get hurt. So she couldn’t do this.

Shaw shook her head a little.

“It’s still a no” Shaw said quietly and Root just stared at her. Her eyes dark in dim street lighting, her lips were pursed and she rolled her eyes as she looked away down the street. As if Shaw’s answer was predictable. As if she wasn’t impressed in the slightest. Shaw saw Root glance down briefly and felt something pull inside her knowing that inadvertently by trying to do the right thing she had made Root sad. Shaw stared at her for a couple of seconds longer, but the conversation was over. She opened the door to her building and went in.

“Goodnight Root” she said as the door shut behind her.

*

Shaw was annoyed when she woke up. She was annoyed in the shower. She was annoyed as she drank her coffee. She was annoyed when she bumped her knee on the table. She was annoyed when her jacket got caught on the door as she was leaving. She was annoyed when she got to Finch’s. She was annoyed when he asked her how her night was. But she suddenly found herself angry when he made a comment about Root.

 _“You two seem to be on better terms lately…”_ that was all he said, it was a vague comment that he was only half invested in. But it was enough to make Shaw want to ball up her fists. And not at the comment, but at the way she felt herself react as soon as he mentioned her. She couldn’t figure it out. What it was about that goddamn pretty stick figure that made her so… unlike herself. It was a weird pulling feeling. And it made her want to mention Root unnecessarily. She walked out of Finch’s, annoyed again, but she had a gun now so that made her feel a bit better.

She saw Reese in the distance as she left, and dodged him. She didn’t feel like talking, not to him at least. She wanted to talk to… _ugh, fuck it._ She thought. _You can’t talk to Root. You just can’t._

But somehow regardless she found herself going towards Root’s apartment. It was still relatively early, there was a high chance Root wouldn’t be there. But she also knew from her fun facts about Root, that she loved to sleep in late. So maybe, just maybe she might still be there.

Shaw didn’t know what she wanted as she pulled the door open to Root’s apartment building and started running up the stairs when the elevator was taking too long. Part of her was willing Root to be out already, so she wouldn’t have to face the embarrassing ordeal of showing up on her doorstep with literally nothing to say. But part of her just wanted to see Root, she couldn’t get that conversation out of her head from last night. She couldn’t unsee the look on Root’s face when Shaw said no. Again.

She wanted to fix it, but she had no idea how.

As she burst through the door on Root’s level, she really had no idea what she was going to do or say. But immediately she froze as Root came out from her apartment and shut the door behind her, pausing to lock it with the key. Shaw stood at the end of the hallway and stared at her. _Oh fuck._

Root hadn’t noticed her yet. She had to think fast. _Fix it Sameen_ she told herself.

Shaw walked towards her, when she got close enough for Root to hear her footsteps on the carpet she turned around and raised an eyebrow in confusion and shock to see Shaw there.

But before she could get a word out, Shaw shoved her back against the wall and kissed her. It was meant to be a gentle kiss but it ended in devout passion, as Root grabbed her face and kissed her back deeply, it almost took Shaw by surprise that Root accepted her back so quickly. Shaw pushed herself against Root as if she were trying to push her through the wall. She kissed her hard, deeply, frustratedly, letting all that tension and annoyance out in the kiss. Then she broke away from Root and took a ragged breath.

“Does that come with an explanation?” Root asked leaning against the wall flustered. Shaw glanced at her and rolled her eyes with a slight smile.

“That was the explanation” Shaw said and Root bit her lip.

“So I can assume you changed your mind?”

Shaw just frowned. “I don’t know.”

“I can’t see a reason why’d you come all the way over here and kiss me like that if you hadn’t” Root said and Shaw just looked at her.

“Just sex,” Shaw said. “We work together, we have sex, and food occasionally, but that’s it.”

“Okay” Root said with a small smile. “Can I make a rule too?”

Shaw arched an eyebrow curiously. “That depends what it is.”

“Just me” Root said and Shaw stared at her. “If we’re gonna do this it has to be just me.”

“You’re cutting the rest of my love life off?” Shaw asked.

“What love life Sam?” Root smirked. “You’re a sociopath who doesn’t do relationships.”

“You’re making this sound an awful lot like a commitment” Shaw frowned.

“No Sameen” Root said. “I just don’t want to be your sloppy seconds.”

Shaw rolled her eyes with a slight cringe.

“Yeah okay” she shrugged. “Whatever.”

“I’m gonna kiss you” Root announced and moved forwards, leaning into Shaw.

“Okay but you can’t do that whenever you want” Shaw said firmly and Root smirked before shutting her up with her lips. Kissing her lightly enjoying the taste of her lips against her own. Savouring the gentle kiss with her eyes shut before she pulled away.

“You’re so annoying” Shaw muttered and wiped her lip. Root smirked.

“But you feel better though, don’t you?” Root asked. “Now that we have an understanding.”

“I don’t feel anything” Shaw said with a shrug and Root rolled her eyes in amusement.

“I knew it wouldn’t take you long to come around” Root said “we’re too perfect for each other.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh man.... now what's gonna happen that they have a little sex agreement? those things are never easy to keep simple.... ;)
> 
> thoughts? feels? x


	7. Chapter 7

Root was having an unusually good day. Not that posing as a french nanny and having a tragic blonde wig attached to her scalp was particularly thrilling but she as happy none the less. So maybe it had something to do with Shaw. And maybe it had something to do with that kiss, Shaw just showing up at her place yesterday morning. Maybe it had something to do with what happened after that kiss. And what happened last night. She was trying to keep her cool about it but everything inside her fluttered at the thought of Shaw. Root knew better than to get attached, I mean, she already was. But she couldn’t let it show, she couldn’t let Shaw know that.

This was meant to be a simple agreement, and she was fine with that. Because honestly she didn’t think she was cut out for relationships, with an all seeing god in one ear, it just didn’t seem like a possibility. She was _normal_ enough for a life like that, she didn’t deserve that kind of life, after everything she had done. And that didn’t bother her, she made peace with that a long time ago, or at least she pretended she had. Old demons left in the closet to rot.

And now she had Shaw, or, was using her. They were using each other. Nothing serious. Just sex, and food, occasionally. She enjoyed Shaw’s company, she enjoyed her nonchalance and her energy, she didn’t mind Shaw was a little rough around the edges, a little dark, a little bruised. She liked that about her. She wasn’t perfect, she was human. Shaw was real. And Root knew when Shaw was around her there was a slight change in the way she acted, her distance and cold shoulder seemed a little softer. There was something about Root that got to Shaw, that much she knew.

Root was still having a good day when she abandoned her nannying job, leaving the terror of a child in the incapable hands of his father as he threw paint at the walls. She was still having a good day when she got back to Finch’s and he informed Root she would have to stay put for a while until this mess blew over. She didn’t even seem phased when she checked up on Shaw and found out she too was midst switching cover jobs.

But her good day came to a crashing and abrupt end the minutes after Reese walked in and dropped his gun on the table.

“I think Shaw’s got a crush” he said with a frown and Root automatically looked up.

“No doubt” Finch said from behind her and Root’s head whipped around almost spinning off her shoulders.

“Sameen?” Root asked curiously looking back at Reese.

“I know” Reese said “it’s weird seeing her…flirty”

Root raised an eyebrow with a small smirk appearing on her face.

“Well whatever you do Mr Reese, please do not encourage her.” Finch said. Root could feel her heartbeat. “This is hardly the time or place.”

“I don’t think she needs encouraging, Finch” Reese said “She couldn’t stop looking at him with those…eyes” Reese almost shook his head as he processed what was seemingly a memory of his adopted little sister making eyes at their number.

“ _Him?_ ” Root echoed her heart immediately plummeting as she sat up a little straighter. “Who are we talking about here?” she asked and Reese raised an eyebrow.

“Tomas” Reese said and dropped his photo onto Root’s lap. Root picked up the photo and frowned. Shaw wouldn’t, not after they finally came to an agreement barely 48 hours ago. And he was there number, he wasn’t even that cute. Her frown deepened.

“Something the matter Ms Groves?” Finch asked catching glimpse of the look on her face.

Root quickly tossed the photo onto the desk and shook her head.

“No,” she said “no it’s fine, where is she now?”

“Sameen set up a meeting with Mr Koroa through her criminal connections” Finch said. “She should be meeting with him now, and on that note, I have some other business to attend to.”

Root just frowned and got to her feet.

“Yeah” she said “I should…I should go”

“Ms Groves” Finch said pulling his coat on “I do advise you stay here, at least for a few more hours, keep an eye on Ms Shaw for me if you get that bored.”

Root quirked an eyebrow and watched Finch and Reese leave. She let out a loud sigh and fell back down into the chair, propping the photo of Tomas up and staring at it silence surrounding her until finally she looked away. Getting up from her chair and walking off. _You’re not attached,_ Root told herself _she’s not yours._ _She can do whatever she wants._

That didn’t work. She had specifically told Shaw if they were going to do this there was going to be no one else, Root had her reasons and she knew Shaw wouldn’t ask questions. Shaw had said yes. Said she wasn’t going to fuck anyone else while Root and her had this agreement standing. But now she was off flirting with their number?

Root couldn’t possibly work out what had changed so quickly. Or maybe this was just Shaw, maybe she got bored that easily, despite any stupid assumptions Root had always had about Shaw being different around her.

 _Fuck it._ She thought and connected herself to Shaw’s line immediately tuning into the conversation that was taking place.

“…nothing unlocks doors like a beautiful woman” Root practically rolled her eyes.

“Ooh he’s hot” she said with a smirk as she pulled yet another photo off him of the wall and ran her fingers over the edges. “I mean not hood and zip ties in a CIA safe house with 10 hours to kill hot, _but_ I kinda get it” Root said to Shaw who she knew was listening.

The reply came seconds later, Shaw’s voice low. Root could almost picture her sitting there, an awkward grimace crossing her face as she heard Root’s voice, trying not to give herself away. Lips barely moving as she spoke.

“Root” Shaw’s voice was low. “What the hell are you doing?”

Root smirked to herself and settled back down in Finch’s chair, kicking her feet up onto the desk and propping the photo up against the computer screen.

“Harold wanted me off the streets for a while after my latest brush with Samaritan, so I thought I’d help keep an ear on you” Root stared at the photo of him. Ignoring the feeling her in heart. “He is a dangerous criminal after all, I just couldn’t bare it if anyone hurt you, I mean…besides me”

Root waited for an answer, she knew it was a stretch to get another reply from Shaw. Especially since she was probably face to face with Tomas at that exact moment.

A moment of silence passed.

“So,” Shaw said, but not to Root. Root shut her eyes and gave herself a mental pat on the back for keeping her shit together. She could feel frustration starting to seep through her bones the longer she stared at that fucking photo of Tomas. She knew she couldn’t blame him, although she was going to regardless. He wasn’t exactly being subtle, about anything. Their chemistry was obvious. Root could hear it in the way they were talking. She even mentioned it out loud so Shaw heard.

Root tried to find amusement in commenting on their conversation, hearing Shaw flirt with someone else made her…kind of turned on but mostly angry. She had no right to be but she was anyway. For a lot of reasons. She wanted Shaw to say those things to her, she wanted that unsubtly laid down on her.

She listened to what Tomas was saying to her, the worlds most unsubtle sex innuendo ever. She wanted to vomit. She wondered what Shaw was thinking, she wondered how she was looking at him. She wanted to believe she had a smirk on her face and an eye roll lined up.

“He’s good” Root said once he finally shut up “But a line like that would never work on a trained operative like-“

Suddenly the line went dead. Root’s hand shot up to her ear and she frowned.

Shaw hung up on her. Root froze. Her fingers touching her ear. Her eyes fixated on the photo of Tomas. Shaw had just hung up on her. Shut her up. Cut her off. Ended whatever it was…

Root went numb immediately. Was that it? Her hand slowly fell back into her lap and she forced herself to look away from that photo. Did Shaw really not want Root anymore? Had she just discarded her that easily?

Root’s jaw clenched and she desperately tried to blink back tears that were prickling behind her eyes, glad that no one was here to see her moment of vulnerability. Over Shaw no less. She wiped away a stray tear and shook her head. _She was never yours, Root_ she reminded herself. _This was nothing but a loose agreement._

*

Instant regret. Shaw had never felt that before. She felt it rising up inside her, gripping every muscle, every nerve, every goddamn vein in her body and squeezing until she was entirely uncomfortable. It wrapped around her brain and alerted her to the fact she had made a shitty mistake. It acted slow like a poison but she know it was there immediately.

They had barely made it to the car before they were all over each other. He was hot. There was that. Everything about him was exactly the type of person that Shaw would go for. Had gone for, in the past. But as soon as she pulled her dress back down and leaned her head back against the head rest of the car, her eyes shutting for the briefest moment. She felt it. Usually there was nothing, usually she would just move on. Done. Finished. That was a thing that happened. Great, now where was she. But no, not this time. It lingered, unnecessarily. And then a weird unsettled feeling starting swirling around her stomach. She ignored it. He drove. Their night got more interesting. A heist gone wrong.

Over an hour later she heard Root’s voice again alongside Finch’s. It wasn’t anything specific. It was about some damn rogue virus. That was what was important here. The mission. Finding those viruses. Tomas was still at her side, she could still look at him. But that weird feeling was still pestering her.

They had a drink in the safe house, she agreed to help Tomas. Again. The feeling disappeared when she looked at him. But the second she looked away it was back. They spent the night together in the safe house. The next morning, the feeling was still there, stronger, gripping her now. She didn’t know what it was, so for the time being she ignored it. She hadn’t heard from Root again. She didn’t make much of it. Although she was surprised she hadn’t been called and yelled at for hanging up on her. Or maybe Root didn’t care.

*

Root’s day had been washed up from the shore’s of hell. She hadn’t spoken to Shaw, there was a virus on the loose, The Machine wasn’t talking to her, and she had been denied the only opportunity she had to shoot someone. But now she stood and watched a building go up in smoke and wondered if maybe that was the climax. Maybe now she could crawl into her bed and not come out for a month. God that had to be it, she didn’t know if she could take anymore.

As she went to walk home suddenly she felt someone by her side. As she glanced over her shoulder she saw Shaw beside her with an amused smirk on her face.

“I like being able to sneak up on you” Shaw said and Root rolled her eyes.

“I live to amuse” Root said and Shaw smiled. “Where’s Tomas?” The bitterness in her voice was apparent and Shaw looked away from her. Root frowned. That was unexpected.

“Halfway to Barcelona” Shaw said quietly and Root looked at her with an eyebrow arched.

“You didn’t go with him?”

“Root” Shaw said softly and Root just sighed. “No.”

“Maybe you should have” Root said keeping her eyes fixated ahead of her, feeling that anger bubbling inside her again, her eyes stinging. As much as she had been glad to see Shaw was still around, she really didn’t want to be around her right now.

“Root, don’t be like that” Shaw said and reached out for Root, her fingers grazing Root’s arm but she stopped and let her hand drop back to her side, unsure how far she could go.

“Like what?” Root hissed and glared at Shaw. Shaw just frowned.

“I wouldn’t have ever said yes.”

“That’s a lie” Root said “Just admit to me you considered it.”

Shaw just stared at her, jaw locked. “So maybe I did”

Root looked away.

“But I’m here now” Shaw said “doesn’t that count for something?”

Root shook her head in disbelief and kept walking. The night air was cold. Her skin prickled. But inside her blood was boiling.

“I’m going home” Root said and Shaw followed her.

“Was that an invite?” Shaw asked and Root stopped, swinging around to glare at Shaw.

“It sure as hell wasn’t” Root said “Just go.”

Shaw frowned deeply, staring at Root wondering if she had possibly hurt her that much. One mistake. And this explosion.

“Go where?” Shaw asked quietly.

“Anywhere” Root practically shouted “Go to Barcelona, Sameen, I don’t care, I just don’t want to talk to you right now.”

Shaw opened her mouth to speak and then closed it again. She was shocked. She had never heard Root yell at her like that again. There was such an anger in her voice, in her eyes. Like she was shutting off from Shaw all together.

“I stayed because of you” Shaw said.

“And what about the other part?” Root asked harshly.

“What other part?” Shaw asked feigning innocence that made Root roll her eyes aggressively.

“Stop fucking lying to me” Root said “I know you slept with him.”

“You don’t-” Shaw started and Root just walked off mid sentence. “Seriously, stop.” Shaw called out and ran after her.

“I’m _so_ mad at you” Root said turning around to face her, her eyes red from the strain of holding back tears, her lip practically quivered as she tried to bottle the anger that was ready to explode fire over Shaw. Shaw stared at her, eyes dark, watching Root, concerned but helpless.

“I made a mistake” Shaw said her voice quiet. “Can you please…just let this one go?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the entire shitstorm is hitting the fan :)  
> I needed to get out a little emotional crunch before well... a lot of unpleasant words ;) 
> 
> in other random news it's really cute seeing you guys talking to each other, definitely made my morning xxx
> 
> thoughts, feelings, and suggestions always welcomed below x


	8. Chapter 8

“Let it go?” Root asked incredulously and then shook her head. “It had barely been 48 hours Sameen, I know this isn’t exclusive but I thought you’d have a little more respect for me than that.”

Shaw just looked at her, teeth grinding together at her own frustration with herself. How could she have been so stupid. She had done exactly what she was trying to avoid doing, she hurt Root. Why? Because she was still trying to prove to herself that Root didn’t fucking matter. But this, the girl that was standing in front of her right now with red eyes and balled up fists clearly wasn’t just nothing.

“Are you just not going to say anything?” Root asked looking at her and Shaw just looked away. She didn’t know what she could say. This was a catastrophic fuck up, one which she knew wouldn’t be solved with a simple apology.

“I don’t know what you want me to say, Root” Shaw said quietly and Root just sighed, loosely crossing her arms.

“Well maybe you should think about that” Root said and turned to keep walking. “I’m going home.”

Shaw stared after her. “Bye, Sameen.”

Shaw frowned. Why did that feel so final. She watched Root walk off, she watched until she was a tiny figure in the distance, and then she turned the corner and disappeared. _Fuck_ she thought and rammed her fist into the concrete wall. Her knuckles stung. That was so much worse than she had expected. Root’s silence hadn’t meant that she didn’t care, it meant that she did, and a lot. To the point where she was furious.

Shaw wasn’t usually reckless in that respect, she did a lot of shit, but never to hurt anyone. Unless they deserved it. And Root sure as hell did not deserve that. No, they weren’t together, the idea of them being in a relationship was enough to make Shaw want to run. But Root did matter. They worked together, they saved each other. They had an unspoken agreement to look out for each other.

Shaw thought about Tomas as she walked home. She started analysing every thought she had that led her to make that stupid mistake. He had her, with his words, and his eyes, and his charisma, but that wasn’t a good enough reason. She knew she couldn’t blame it on her attraction for him, because it wasn’t about him. It was about Root, and despite their agreement she had still been hesitant. Freaked out more than anything, about feeling like she was getting trapped. She was a lone wolf, always on the outskirts and she liked it that way. Then there was Root who was suddenly just _around_ , making her breakfast, asking her to stay, making her feel entirely less alone. Shaw didn’t know if she was ready for that. Maybe it was a rebelling thing, no one could tell Sameen Shaw what to do. Or maybe she was just too stubborn to admit she was scared. Root scared her. Not because she was mildly psychotic, but because she cared, so much and so deeply.

Shaw got home and threw herself onto her bed, staring at the peeling ceiling. She thought about how quickly she had turned down Tomas when he had asked her to come away with him.

 _“I have a job”_ she had said, he had barely finished his sentence. But it wasn’t the job that was rooting her here.

*

When Shaw walked into Finch’s the next morning her stomach was still in knots. She had considered her options over and over again that night, barely getting any sleep until she had reluctantly dragged her ass out of her slump and gone to the gym before the sun had even come up. Her muscles were aching as she walked in. Finch looked up from his usual place behind the computer screen.

“Oh good you’re here” he said and Shaw raised an eyebrow, she heard a gentle thump come from behind a bookcase and turned towards it.

Immediately Shaw saw Root getting changed behind a bookcase. Root wasn’t paying any attention to Shaw, she hadn’t even realised Shaw was there.

Shaw stared at her, she was changing covers, standing there in her bra and undies as she sorted out her clothes and started pulling a dress up. Shaw couldn’t seem to take her eyes off her, that slim figure, those long legs, her dark hair falling over her shoulders in perfect waves.

“I need you and Root to do a little job together” Finch said and Shaw’s attention quickly snapped back to him.

“Sorry, what?” she asked having very clearly heard what he had said.

“Ms Groves is just changing now” Finch said and Shaw glanced back at Root. At that moment Root looked over and saw Shaw, and without so much as a blink of hesitation looked away again. As if Shaw weren’t even there. Shaw frowned and turned back to Finch.

“Can’t Reese do it?” she heard herself say quietly and Finch looked at her curiously.

“Is there a problem Ms Shaw?” Finch asked a little too loudly and Shaw just quickly shook her head.

“What’s the cover?” Shaw asked.

“You won’t like it” Finch said and Shaw just rolled her eyes.

“Just tell me”

“You have to go to a charity lunch” Finch said and Shaw almost kicked the chair in front of her in frustration. From criminal to fucking charity goer. Not the greatest switch she’d made.

“Aren’t I meant to be some badass criminal?” Shaw asked and Finch just looked at her.

“The Machine needs you to do this” Finch said “You have another identity, just be very careful.”

“Great” Shaw frowned. “The Machine is to blame here.” she said and wondered whether The Machine was just playing with her and Root.

“Why can’t Root just go?” Shaw asked.

“Yeah Harry,” Root said from behind her suddenly. Shaw spun around at the sound of her voice and was face to face with Root, in a white dress, with dark lipstick and an even darker look in her eyes.

“I can handle this one by myself.” Root said and Finch looked between them.

“Unfortunately you’re both needed for this one,” Finch paused “It’s a plus one event.”

“What are you trying to say Harold?” Shaw asked and he just winced. A further explanation was not needed. Shaw heard a gun get loaded behind her and turned around to see Root armed with a hand gun, silencer attached. She felt a brief rush of anxiety rush through her body at the sight of Root with that gun, looking straight at her. Then it faded. She looked away.

“Ms Shaw there’s something you can wear over there” Finch said and Shaw just rolled her eyes.

“Oh good” she said sarcastically and marched over to the clothing bag, unzipping it and seeing a black dress inside. She growled under her breath and immediately starting stripping her clothes off right there in front of Root. She knew Finch would have looked away already. But she hoped Root wouldn’t have. Although as she pulled the zip up the side of the dress, sealing herself in she glanced over at Root and saw her facing the complete opposite direction.

*

Root’s air of disinterest stayed with her for the entire ride there. The cold shoulder was prominent. Her anger, just as much. She had barely said a word to Shaw since they had left Finch’s.

 _“You ready?”_ Shaw had asked as she collected her gun and glanced over at Root, who looked at Shaw and then started walking towards the door.

The taxi had been just as painful, Root stared out the window without a word, her lips pressed together, her hands neatly folded in her lap. It was more than obvious she didn’t want to talk to Shaw, and she didn’t want Shaw to talk to her either.

As they arrived Root produced a ticket printed on heavy paper stock out of her purse and handed it to the doorman of the hotel where the charity event was being held.

Shaw wondered how this was going to work, they were meant to be at this event _together_ but Root hadn’t said a fucking word to her, nor had she even glanced in Shaw’s direction since they had gotten out of the car.

She wanted to confront Root about her behaviour, but she couldn’t seem to bring the words out of her mouth. They walked into a room full of other women and men, chatter filled the air around them, everyone was holding glasses of champagne and smiling.

Root walked straight over to the drinks table, flashing a smile at a couple as she brushed past them. Shaw followed her, swiping up a glass and taking a sip from it before glancing at Root.

“Convincing.” Shaw said and felt Root’s eyes on her immediately from the criticism.

“People have arguments sometimes, Sameen” Root said. “It’s perfectly normal.”

“You’ve barely looked at me” Shaw pointed out and Root observed the crowd as if she couldn’t care less.

“Oh, is that bothering you?” Root asked and Shaw just stared at her with a frown.

“Yes, actually” Shaw said but Root still didn’t look at her. “You really can’t be that upset with me,” Shaw said knowing as the words left her mouth that it was the wrong thing to say. “We’re not even in an actual relationship.”

“Good fucking thing too” Root answered cooly before wandering off back towards the mingling guests. Shaw stared at her in shock before immediately going after her.

“Root” she said sharply.

“Samantha Jenkins!” a woman cooed and Root immediately spun around with a warm smile.

“I thought that was you” the woman said “You’re looking so good these days”

Shaw had almost entirely forgotten the identities they had taken to come under cover. These women who all pretended they knew and liked each other. Shaw wanted to punch them all and just go home.

“How’s the family?” Root asked with her perfected tone of interest in her voice, her eyes focused on Lucy as they spoke. Their small talk continued for a few minutes before Lucy noticed Shaw hovering by her.

“Oh I’m being so rude” Lucy said looking at Shaw.

“This is Jen” Root said introducing Shaw under her cover name. Shaw was almost shocked that Root’s cover and her shared a birth name. It was always strange to hear Root being called Samantha. It just didn’t fit.

“Jen” the woman grinned and pulled Shaw into a hug. “So good to meet you.”

Lucy looked between the both of them expectantly and suddenly Shaw felt a hand touching her lower back, curling around her waist. It was Root’s hand. The single touch sent a shiver down Shaw’s back. The hairs on her arm standing up at Root’s warm touch.

“Good for you, Sam” Lucy said with a wink looking at Root.

“It is good when we’re not arguing” Root said and Lucy just laughed.

“I know the feeling” she replied and Shaw just stared at Root.

“Not on the same page, more like not even in the same section of the book” Root said with a light laugh, but her words were clear, sharp, aimed right at Shaw. Lucy just laughed with Root and stroked her arm looking at Shaw.

“I’m sure you two will work it out,” she paused “You look so great together.”

After Lucy disappeared Shaw immediately turned back to Root.

“What the fuck?” Shaw asked and Root just rolled her eyes taking a sip of champagne.

“Not that I don’t appreciate your constant shadowing, Sameen” Root said cooly“but I can handle this by myself if you want to go.”

Shaw just stared at Root with a scowl printed deeply onto her forehead.

“I’m not leaving.” Shaw said firmly, the two separate meanings of that sentence loudly apparent to both of them. Root glanced at her.

“Whatever.” Root muttered and turned her attention back to the small stage where a woman was standing on.

“Welcome everyone” she said with a wide gorgeous smile. Shaw was still staring at Root, she couldn’t believe how easily Root was just brushing her off. Shaw knew she made a mistake, but she didn’t realise it would cost her this. Their entire…well relationship.

Root was staring fixedly ahead with her head tilted slightly to the side, a finger running around the rim of the champagne glass as she gazed at the woman on the stage. Shaw glanced at the stage and looked t the woman who was thanking everyone for coming. She was tall and willowy, blonde hair, a nice smile, all glowing and happy. Shaw rolled her eyes and looked back at Root.

“Why are you looking at her like that?” Shaw hissed and Root didn’t look away.

“That’s our fucking number Sameen” Root said under her breath and Shaw immediately felt like an idiot.

“Didn’t know that required your heart eyes” Shaw said quickly and Root just shot her an icy look.

“I _want_ you to leave” Root said as they stared daggers at each other.

“I’m not going to” Shaw said adamantly and Root just huffed turning back to the stage, where the woman was still talking. Shaw tried to turn her attention to the blonde as well, but the exact second she did she caught the woman noticing Root, the corners of her mouth immediately turning up into a smile. Shaw clenched the champagne glass tightly in her hand. _For fuck sake._

“Can I talk to you?” Shaw said suddenly grabbing Root by the arm and towing her away from the crowds of brunching women. Root yanked her arm away from Shaw with an irritated look, but reluctantly followed her into the ladies room regardless.

“Do you finally have something to say?” Root asked as Shaw shooed all the other women out of the bathroom and closed the door behind them.

“Yeah I do” Shaw said and folded her arms. “Stop being such a bitch.”

Root raised both eyebrows. “Fuck you.”

Shaw let out an angry huff. “Look I get it, you’re fucked off.” Root rolled her eyes and leaned against one of the pillars impatiently.

“You of all people should know that I am the least perfect person you’ll meet” Shaw said and Root just stared at her, barely moving a muscle on her face.

“So you think that means I should just excuse your behaviour?” Root asked. “Because you’re not perfect?” she paused. “Welcome to the human race, Sameen. That doesn’t change anything.”

“Then what would?” Shaw asked, but at that exact moment the bathroom door flew open and the blonde speech woman walked in, freezing as soon as she saw Root and Shaw glaring at one another.

“Am I interrupting?” she asked politely and Root immediately spun around and smiled at her.

“No, no, sorry” she said warmly and Shaw just stared at her in disbelief that Root’s mood was purely directed at Shaw, that it wasn’t affecting anything else but the way she was around Shaw.

“I just wanted to touch up” the blonde said brushing past Shaw towards the mirrors. “I hate speeches.” she continued and Root kept smiling at her.

“Public speaking always makes me nervous too” Root said and the blonde turned around as if that was rare and ground breaking news.

“Really?” she asked then stuck her hand out. “I’m Adina.”

“Samantha” Root said and and shook her hand “It’s so nice to meet you.”

Adina nodded in agreement and Shaw just cleared her throat. Adina glanced over at Shaw and raised an eyebrow.

“Sorry and you are?” she said and Shaw just stared into those deep blue eyes.

“Leaving” Shaw said and glanced over at Root bitterly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> story time! so I had this chapter ready to go like over a day ago, but I've been working a film event all weekend and I left my charger at the venue overnight because I am An Idiot and so when I got home and went to post it my laptop like died and I couldn't charge it :) yay :) but it's here now :) and I'm back :) so updates everywhere soon :) (including b&s)
> 
> thank you so much for your patience, you guys are awesome truly.
> 
> let me know what you think of this chapter!? root is definitely holding tightly onto that grudge...


	9. Chapter 9

Shaw couldn’t believe it as she stormed out of the hotel. She couldn’t believe that Root could be so bitchy to her. Shaw was angry, every ounce of her body buzzing and not in a good way. She couldn’t tell if it was because of the way Root had been treating her, or whether it was because she had been such an idiot that she had ruined any second chance. Not that she wanted a chance… fuck it, she didn’t know what she wanted. She just wanted things to go back to the way they were, if anything. But that clearly wasn’t going to happen. Shaw wondered if it had been a bad idea leaving Root with Adina. She didn’t want to think about the fact that Root clearly found her attractive. If they ended up fucking so what? Maybe then they’d be even and Root could move on. Past this bullshit.

Shaw didn’t like being undermined, she didn’t like being treated like a child who needed to be punished. But the worst part was, it wasn’t either of those things that was making her feel the worst. It was the fact she could _see_ how angry and upset Root was with her. It was those damn eyes. They were too expressive, Shaw could see everything. And that’s what got to her the most.

She could tell Root wanted to forgive her, but she wasn’t going to. Root wouldn’t let herself be exposed like that again, Shaw knew that much.

Shaw turned around when she got to the end of the block, glancing back at the hotel, wondering if for any reason Root would be coming after her. She quickly realised she’d given Root no good reason to chase her. She hadn’t given Root anything, barely even a fucking apology. Shaw stormed across the road, a car slamming it’s breaks on and honking loudly at her as she stepped out in front of it.

 _I need a drink_ she thought. _Or several._

*

Root didn’t know what she was doing, or trying to do. She could see Shaw getting more and more worked up over the fact that Root wasn’t letting up easily about what happened. And Root liked that. She wanted to keep the upper hand. She wanted to let Shaw know how she felt. But she also knew Shaw wouldn’t hang around forever waiting. That wasn’t Sameen. And Root didn’t want to push her away accidentally.

Root was more than tempted to chase after Shaw as she stalked out of the bathroom during the lunch, she wanted to go after her and let them talk it out. But for some reason her feet stayed glued to the spot, and she let Shaw leave without another word. She was left there facing Adina. Those ridiculous blue eyes watching her. Wondering if she was okay. Root didn’t get the same feeling when she looked at Adina as she did when she looked at Shaw, that feeling that started in the middle of her body and slowly spread throughout her veins, like a rush of energy. She did feel something, that was undeniable. But why did that matter. If she acted on that she’d be doing exactly what Shaw had done. And that wouldn’t solve anything. Trying to pry her feelings away from work she let The Machine direct her through the lunch, staying at Adina’s side.

 _“Are you okay Sam?”_ Adina asked at one point and Root almost spun around immediately thinking someone was talking to Shaw. She wasn’t used to hearing her real name. She wasn’t used to people asking if she was okay either.

After the lunch she contemplated finding Shaw, but instead she found herself at home, on her couch, staring at the ceiling wondering what the fuck she was doing. There were two things that she were absolutely positive about. One, she did _not_ want to fall in love with Sameen Shaw. Two, she might be in love with Sameen Shaw.

And that alone was enough to make her want to cry. Alone. In her apartment. The daylight slowly fading into the darkness, leaving her alone in her shadows. She didn’t want to feel this way, not about Shaw. She knew she made jokes, and flirted, teasing Shaw mercilessly at every opportunity. She liked Shaw, that had always been apparent. And yes, they probably were perfect for each other. No one else would ever understand their lives the way they understood each others. But she couldn’t think of anything more excruciating than being in love with someone who couldn’t love you back. Someone who lose interest, who _would_ lose interest, who could never tell you with 100% certainty that they care about you with their life. She knew Shaw did care, underneath that hard exterior Root had always been optimistic there would lie something softer. But she could never been certain. And she didn’t want to be in love. Love hurt, she avoided love. She avoided getting close to people, she wasn’t good at it. But she felt close to Shaw. 

And even if maybe being in love with Shaw wasn’t going to be that much of a big deal for her, there was also that problem that Shaw broke their deal that had only been standing for two days. How could she ever trust her? Not to mention their agreement was sex only. No feelings. Certainly no relationships. Root could feel tears in her eyes as she stared into the darkness above her. The only source of light coming from the neon clock that she had in the kitchen.

Root let the tears sit in puddles in her eyes as she played with a strand of her hair. She wondered if someone like Adina would be a better option, clueless of course to what Root actually did for a living. But at least she had feelings.

Suddenly the handle on Root’s front door wiggled. Root sat up and looked over at it through the darkness. Was someone trying to break in? She had a gun on the coffee table that she reached for. Something scratched the lock, she could hear someone picking it. She wondered if she was about to get robbed. There wasn’t a lot here except for random computer parts…and a fuck load of weapons. Root stood up slowly and pointed her gun towards the door, praying it was only going to be one idiot that she had to take out. The door rattled and then swung open as the person successfully unpicked it after several failed attempts. Light from the hallway flooded her apartment and she could make out the silhouette of someone stumbling into her apartment banging into something as they entered, loudly. Root frowned her gun still trained at the shadow.

“There’s a 9mm pointed at your head” Root said softly “So I’d be very careful what your next move is.”

“What?” the voice replied taking Root by surprise as she immediately recognised it. Root reached for the light.

“Shaw?” Root asked flicking the light on and immediately seeing Shaw standing in her apartment squinting at the sudden light. “What are you doing?”

“What am I doing?” Shaw asked “What are _you_ doing?”

Shaw stared at the gun, her eyes were slightly bloodshot and her cheeks flushed a little. She was in a sweatshirt with the hood half pulled up, a frown plastered on her face.

“Are you drunk?” Root asked lowering her gun as Shaw stared at it in confusion.

“No” Shaw said swaying on the spot and Root just rolled her eyes.

“Why did you break in to my place?”

“I came through the door” Shaw said the frown still there as she pointed towards the door and Root just stared at her with an eyebrow arched.

“Yes, ” Root nodded “But you picked my lock…eventually, and that’s breaking in”

“I didn’t break anything” Shaw said.

“Yet” Root mumbled and Shaw looked at the gun still in Root’s hand.

“If you shoot me, you might break something” Shaw mumbled with a shrug and Root set it down with a sigh.

“Why are you here?” she asked and Shaw just ignored her, walking closer and squinting at Root’s face. Root could smell the whiskey on her and the faint smell of smoke. It wasn’t particularly sexy but for some reason Root kind of liked it.

“Are you crying?” Shaw asked looking straight into Root’s eyes. Root quickly wiped away whatever remaining tears might have been lingering and shook her head.

“No” she said and Shaw collapsed down on the couch, whacking her knee against the coffee table as she went down.

“Are you going to be mean to me more?” Shaw asked and Root just stared down at her.

“No comment” Root said and Shaw rolled her eyes.

“Can I speak at you?” Shaw asked and Root tried not to smirk.

“Speak _at_ me?” she clarified and Shaw nodded patting the spot on the couch next to her. Root perched on the edge of the coffee table so they were face to face.

“You’re pretty” Shaw said suddenly and Root felt herself blushing, even though drunk Shaw complimenting her was hardly an achievement. Her cheeks still felt warm and she had to look away.

“What did you want to to say?” Root asked, she knew she couldn’t keep her bitchy routine up with Shaw like this. She had never seen Shaw quite this drunk before. She wasn’t entirely sure what to make of it either, she wondered if perhaps it was her fault. She couldn’t think of any other reason for Shaw to get this drunk and then turn up on her doorstep.

“I’m sorry” Shaw said clearly. “I definitely did not mean to fuck Tomas”

“You didn’t mean to?” Root still felt a little raw on the topic. Shaw shook her head vigorously.

“I didn’t know,” Shaw started “I didn’t know what to make of our little friends with sex, so maybe I freaked out”

Suddenly it clicked in Root’s head. “And what do you make of it now?”

Shaw stared at her with dark eyes.

“It’s fine.”

“Is it?” Root asked and Shaw leaned in so they were almost nose to nose.

“Mhm.”

Root bit her lip so she didn’t smile.

“I can’t really listen to you though, because you’re drunk.”

“No no” Shaw said and reached out touching Root’s hand without even thinking about it. Root on the other hand glanced down in surprise at the sudden touch. “It’s okay, I think the same thoughts.” Shaw tried to explain and Root just watched her.

“Do you want to explain more of those thoughts?” Root tried and Shaw went silent then narrowed her eyes.

“No.”

“That’s probably a good answer” Root said quietly “if only you’d learnt that word before Tomas came along.”

“Did I hurt you?” Shaw asked in a whisper and Root found herself looking away.

“What do you think?” she replied after a moment of silence.

“I’m sorry” Shaw said. “For real.”

“Why couldn’t you just say that to me when you were sober?” Root asked and Shaw frowned.

“Are you kidding?” Shaw said loudly “You were like a crazy woman, shooting knives with your eyeballs and telling me to leave”

Root smirked.

“I wanted to but you were too angry to listen” Shaw said with a shrug and Root looked at her.

“I’m still angry.”

“Are you?” Shaw asked and glanced over towards the kitchen, Root could see her thoughts wandering.

“Yes but I’m listening” Root said.

“Shh” Shaw said suddenly staring into Root’s kitchen. “Do you hear that?”

“Hear what Sam?” Root asked raising an eyebrow and Shaw looked over at her.

“I thought you said you were listening” Shaw asked. Root rolled her eyes.

“I should probably get Reese to take you home” Root said and Shaw just looked at her with a small frown.

“You could take me home” Shaw said “or I could stay here.”

Root opened her mouth and then closed it again. She had been pretty ready to get back to her wallowing. And she was still angry at Shaw, she could barely count this as progress even though that’s what it felt like.

“You should probably go” Root said quietly and stood up moving away from Shaw.

“You don’t want me here” Shaw said and watched Root move across the room.

“Sameen” Root said and ran her hands through her hair as she tried to contemplate the best option. “You’re drunk, you broke into my place, we’re haven’t exactly had a great day with each other…”

“So no angry sex?” Shaw asked with a smirk and Root just stared at her for a brief moment wondering if she was serious.

“You’re too drunk to handle any of my anger” Root replied a hand still halfway through her hair on top of her head, and Shaw just quirked an eyebrow.

“I take bets” Shaw said and Root stared at her, a silence fell between them for a moment where anything could have happened. But then Root snapped out of it, she let out a sigh and looked at the wall. When she glanced back at Shaw she felt her heart melt a little. Shaw had her head back on the couch, her nose pointed towards the ceiling, hands in the pocket of her hoodie, her eyes on Root, watching her every move.

“My head is really… not good” Shaw said blinking slowly and Root just frowned.

“God, you’re an asshole” Root exclaimed before throwing her hands in the air and letting out a sigh of defeat as she marched out of the room, coming back moments later with a blanket and a bucket and depositing the bucket at Shaw’s feet and the blanket at one end of the couch.

“You can stay here” Root said. “But I get my bed, you’re on the couch and don’t disturb me unless you’re dying”

“I’m dying” Shaw said immediately and Root just stared at her.

“What do you need?” Root asked and Shaw looked at her.

“Forgiveness” Shaw said and Root bit down on her tongue.

“Fuck off” she muttered turning away from Shaw to hide the entertained smile that was twitching at the corners of her mouth. She got a glass of water and bought it back to Shaw, wishing she wouldn’t be so damn cute when she was drunk.

Shaw took a long sip of water and Root folded her arms.

“There’s painkillers in the bathroom, if you’re going to puke aim for the bucket, and if you’re going to eat my food then… don’t get it everywhere”

Shaw nodded and set the glass down. “Okay so… what was the first thing?”

Root rolled her eyes. “Why am I doing this” she muttered to herself.

“Do you have ice cream?” Shaw asked and Root looked at her.

“I have frozen yogurt” Root said and Shaw smiled. Root was suddenly taken back by Shaw’s smile. It was so unexpected everything suddenly left her head. She didn’t see Shaw smile like that every often. She smirked like there was no tomorrow and laughed when shitty things happened to people, but genuine Shaw smiles were hard to come by. And fuck, she looked so pretty. What the fuck.

“It’s strawberry” were the only words that made it out of Root’s mouth. Shaw lifted an eyebrow.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Strawberry is a flavour, Sam” Root said and Shaw frowned.

“Am I meant to protest against strawberry?”

“It’s my favourite, that’s all” Root said and quickly turned to the kitchen, but not before she saw Shaw smile again.

“You have to come here if you want it” Root said from the kitchen looking over the counter at Shaw who was still moulded into the couch. “I don’t want you…ruining my upholstery”

Shaw laughed loudly. “You’re upholstery? Since when do you care about that? I cum stained your couch like days ago”

Root stared at her then stabbed her spoon into the frozen yogurt.

“Get up.” Root said and Shaw groaned as she lifted her head and then quickly rested it back down again.

“Can’t” she mumbled and Root walked back over to her. Grabbing her by the hands and tugging her up, trying to ignore the fact their hands fit perfectly together.

“Oh my god I feel dizzy” Shaw said her arm slipping around Root’s waist and gripping her hip as she got to her feet, she swayed a little but felt Root’s arms around her. Root held her upright and then edged her towards the kitchen counter.

“Lean” Root instructed and pushed the yoghurt towards her. “And eat.”

Shaw leaned on the counter with her elbows and hung her head, the spoon in one hand.

“This does not feel fantastic” Shaw said taking a few deep breaths.

“How much did you drink?” Root asked.

“Enough for me to think breaking into your house was a good idea” Shaw said, Root smirked a little tucking a strand of her hair behind her ear. She could feel Shaw watching her still.

“You’re stupidly pretty” Shaw said stuffing a spoon of frozen yoghurt into her mouth.

“You’re stupidly drunk” Root replied and Shaw just looked at her.

“I”m serious.”

“Me too” Root said.

“I just…” Shaw shook her head like she couldn’t find the right words. “I don’t- I don’t get it.”

“Why I’m pretty?” Root said with a slight smirk, but Shaw just looked at her.

“Why we’re like this” Shaw said “With each other.”

Root wanted to ask more questions, but Shaw suddenly let her spoon clatter onto the counter, the tub of yoghurt suddenly half empty.

“I need to sleep” Shaw said gripping the edge of the counter.“Or die.”

 _Don’t die_ Root wanted to say but she didn’t know how much of this Shaw would remember in the morning. She didn’t know if she would want Shaw to remember that or not.

“Come on” Root said and took Shaw by the arm and led her back to the couch, letting her get herself comfortable before she tossed the blanket over her.

“Root,” Shaw said as Root turned towards her room. “I’m sorry.”

“For which part?” Root asked with a small smile.

“All of it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ohhh drunk Shaw was bound to soften an angry Root... but will it stick in the morning?
> 
> thoughts? feels? 
> 
> one of you said Never Be Like You (Flume) reminded you of Shaw in this fic... 110% agree it's literally her theme song right about now :p
> 
> thank you so much for reading!  
> p.s Breakfast & Sex update tomorrow ;)


	10. Chapter 10

When Shaw woke up her head was hanging off the edge of the couch, the first thing she saw was the inside of a red bucket. Thankfully it was empty. Her head was pounding, like someone was in there with an axe and a sledgehammer tearing down everything that existed. Her temples were throbbing, it ached to the point where she didn’t think she could lift it. Shaw rolled onto her back with a groan of effort her brain rattling and thumping in protest of the movement, but then suddenly grateful it was resting against a pillow. Shaw stared at the ceiling and realised she wasn’t in her home. _Oh god._

She recognised the couch she was on, she recognised the coffee table and the smell of the blanket that she was draped over her. Root. _Oh. Fuck._

She tried to press her brain to bring anything back from the night before but she could barely think clearly through the persistent hammering. She pressed a hand to her forehead and lay there in silence for a moment wondering what could possibly make this worse. Silence surrounded her, she glanced over at Root’s clock and saw that it was after 8am. The fact the apartment was so quiet made Shaw wonder whether Root had gone out already.

She pulled herself up, her head spinning and throbbing, and peered over the back of the couch into the rest of the apartment, Root’s door to her bedroom was shut. Everything was still quiet. It didn’t sound like anyone else was home.

Shaw strained her brain trying to remember how she got here, why she was here even. Whatever had happened it clearly hadn’t gone well because she was on the couch, with a bucket. The bucket was empty thank god. But she was still on the couch. Clearly Root was still in a mood. But at this point Shaw was more annoyed at herself, why the fuck had she come here. What had she said? She wondered if it were possible that she had made this worse. If Root had woken up this morning and left before she was forced into facing Shaw.

Shaw swung her legs onto the ground dodging the bucket and stared at the wall ahead of her. _You fucking idiot_ she said to herself, then pulled herself off the couch and reached for her pants that she had disagreed beside the coffee table, yanking them on and then wandering over to the kitchen. _Raid her fridge and then leave_ she warned herself, _you’ve made enough of a mess already._

But as she walked into the kitchen she could immediately smell bacon, and as she glanced over at the table saw eggs on toast with a side of bacon waiting on a plate in one of the seats. Shaw came to an abrupt halt and stared at the plate for a moment. Root obviously wasn’t here, which could only mean…that food was for her. Why would Root make her breakfast? That seemed weird. But Shaw’s stomach was growling, and she could barely think of anything else but using that toast to absorb whatever whiskey was left swishing around her body.

Shaw sat down and pulled the plate closer to her, her mouth was dry, and tasted like crap with a faint hint of strawberry. But that was quick to change as she starting stuffing her face. She was so immersed in the fact that her hunger was being cured that not only did she forget about her headache but she also failed to notice Root’s bedroom door opening, and Root walking across her living room and into the kitchen.

“Oh good,” Root’s voice suddenly said from the other side of the kitchen and Shaw’s head shot up. “I was worried you weren’t going to eat my breakfast.”

The knife and fork immediately fell from Shaw’s hands and hit the edge of the plate, she stared at Root with a mouthful of food and wide eyes. Root had a bottle of orange juice in her hand and took a sip from it, not moving her eyes off Shaw. There was somewhat of an annoyed look on her face crossed with amusement. But Shaw was pretty close to mortified.

“You know” Shaw mumbled quickly chewing the rest of the mouthful and swallowing it. “I think this could be a learning experience for everyone, don’t leave food around hungover people.”

Root rolled her eyes and walked over to the table that Shaw was sitting at. Shaw said a brief and silent prayer. Root picked up a piece of Shaw’s toast and took a bite from it before dropping it back onto the plate.

“Relax Sam” Root said “I made it for you, I’m going out for breakfast, with Adina.”

Shaw just stared at her, again, too much information for her to process with a pounding headache and passing embarrassment.

“Adina?” Shaw asked and Root just glanced back at her.

“Tall, pretty blonde from yesterday?” Root asked. “Gorgeous blue eyes? I’m sure you noticed her”

“I don’t know” Shaw said “I clearly wasn’t looking as closely as you”

Root just smirked and looked at the sour expression on Shaw’s face, as she picked up a piece of bacon and frustratedly took a bite from it.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Shaw snapped.

“Not a great feeling is it?” Root said and Shaw just glared at her.

“Who goes out for _breakfast_?” Shaw asked incredulously. “Breakfast dates are _not_ a thing.”

“And you’d know,” Root arched an eyebrow “You’re at the forefront of the dating realm aren’t you?”

Shaw just stared at her, Root kept smirking. Shaw kept getting more and more annoyed. Her head hammering.

“I have to go, expert” Root said with a wink as she turned towards the door and Shaw immediately got up from her chair.

“Root” Shaw said and Root turned around to look at her. Shaw’s hand shot up to hold her headache as it created black spots in her vision with the speed that she stood up.

“Can you just… wait a minute” Shaw said with a breath and Root just looked at her, almost with that same soft look that she usually always gave Shaw.

“I have some errands to run before I meet Adina” Root said “I’m already late.”

“Screw Adina” Shaw said immediately then quickly added. “Not…literally.”

Root smirked a little and Shaw just frowned.

“I want to talk to you, about last night” Shaw said and Root folded her arms.

“Which part?”

“Well, I was hoping you would enlighten me.”

Root practically rolled her eyes. “You don’t remember any of it?”

“That depends.” Shaw said slowly.

“On?”

“I’m sorry” Shaw said flat out. “I catastrophically fucked you over and… you didn’t deserve that.”

“Well I don’t know what you think happened last night” Root said the corners of her mouth twitching into a playful smile “but it wasn’t that bad.”

Shaw just looked at her. _You know what I mean_ she thought and Root could see it on her face.

“I know you’re sorry, Sam” Root said “And I believe you, but it’s harder for me to trust that you won’t just do it again.”

“You’re going to breakfast with _Adina_ ” Shaw said as if to prove a point.

“Irrelevant, Sameen” Root said shaking her head and Shaw just frowned.

“No, it’s not” Shaw said “You never gave me a chance to say I wouldn’t do it again.”

“You had every opportunity to tell me that, you didn’t need to wait for me to give you a chance” Root said and looked at Shaw clearly still hurt.

“If you sleep with Adina it’s over” Shaw said and folded her arms and Root raised an eyebrow.

“You’re exactly not in a place to decide that” Root said.

“I’m _asking_ you not to” Shaw said. “I made a _mistake_ and I’m not good at this grovelling thing, I have never had anyone that’s made me want to get on my fucking knees and beg for their forgiveness over something so stupid, but I fucking will if it means you won’t sleep with Adina.”

Root just stared at her, she could see that focus Shaw had in her eyes. That determination to make this right. Strategy. A plan. Something solid. That was Shaw. She was an ex Marine, she was good with that. Hard facts. Logic. Steps. That didn’t apply well to emotions. That didn’t apply well to Root.

Root was a mess. That was a fact. But Root could also see the look on Shaw’s face, deep deep down she was devastated. Root could tell. She could almost see that Shaw wanted things to go back to the way they were, and Root did too. For now. Simple and easy. No mess.

“Do you want to know what happened last night” Root said changing the topic and Shaw looked confused for a moment before nodding. Root moved away from the door and closer to Shaw.

“You apologised to me” Root said “I think that’s why you broke in, you got distracted by the frozen yoghurt and how pretty I was a couple of times, but you got there.”

Shaw felt her cheeks grow warm and her jaw clenched. Everything was blurred but she remembered Root. Her dark hair pushed back behind one ear, those warm eyes following her movements even though she was still angry and upset.

“Even your pretty face can’t deter a sincere drunk apology” Shaw said and Root smiled a little. “I’m sorry I broke in here, I’m surprised I didn’t wake up on the street though.”

“I was going to wait till you fell asleep to throw you out, but I settled for writing asshole across your forehead in permanent marker” Root said with a shrug and Shaw’s hand automatically shot up to her forehead desperately trying to feel pen marks. Root just laughed, it filled the room.

“I’m kidding Sam” Root said. Shaw just sighed and ran a hand through her messy hair.

“It’s really hard to grasp how mad you still are” Shaw said honestly and Root just pulled her leather jacket on.

“I think you can probably figure that out” Root said and pulled the door open. “I really have to go, lock up behind you.”

Shaw just nodded and watched her go. The door shut and suddenly the apartment felt empty. Shaw eventually went back to her breakfast and realised two things.

One, Root had let her stay here overnight. Two, Root had made her breakfast.

On the scale of forgiven to rage, Shaw safely made the assumption she was no longer raging. But she was still far from forgiveness.

Shaw cleaned up Root’s place before she left, making sure it was cleaner than before she even got here. When she left she still had a thumping headache, the hangover was retreating a little but that didn’t matter considering her head was still punishing her for idiotic choices.

She stopped at the closest cafe and got a triple shot latte. The coffee warmed her soul as she left, but she couldn’t help thinking about Root who was currently on a breakfast date with someone who was as far as she could tell a lot more mentally and socially stable than herself. Maybe that’s what Root needs, Shaw thought to herself as she wandered the streets of Manhattan. Maybe Root needs normal. Someone who can be there emotionally. Then Shaw realised how stupid that was. Root couldn’t have normal even if she wanted to, the woman had been in a psychiatric facility for fuck sake.

And that was the whole problem wasn’t it. Root didn’t want normal, Root had wanted Shaw. And Shaw had flushed that opportunity down the drain.

Shaw looked at the time, it had been a few hours since Root had left. Surely that little breakfast date would be over by now. Shaw tapped her earpiece.

“Root?” Shaw asked “You busy?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a lot of you are being pretty harsh on how Shaw is acting, and I get that. But remember that this is literally a brand new world for her, feeling emotions, then having to actually deal with them. Of course she's not going to handle it well. She's got no idea what to do with this sudden new thing that's been thrust at her.
> 
> anyway, thank you so much for reading, I love seeing your feedback and comments and suggestions. so sooo good. you're all awesome. 
> 
> lemme know what you think of this one!
> 
> B&S update is coming soon i f^&$%#%king promise xxxxx


	11. Chapter 11

“Well, a little, so I guess it depends” Root replied and Shaw almost smiled at the fact Root had picked up, but the smile quickly faded when she heard Root’s breathing. A little fast, heavy.

“Why are you _panting_?” Shaw asked immediately and there was a pause.

“I’m kind of in the middle of some physical activity” Root said and Shaw raised an eyebrow.

“Do you need backup?” Shaw asked.

“No” pause. “It’s not that kind of activity.”

Shaw’s frown deepened as she realised what was happening.

“Oh” Shaw said awkwardly. “Um, you didn’t need to pick up”

“It’s fine” Root said her breathing still a little ragged. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah…no, it’s nothing, don’t um…don’t worry about it” _Fuck._ Shaw thought mid sentence. She sounded like an actual idiot. She took a breath.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Root’s voice asked in her ear.

“Totally” Shaw said “I’ll uh, let you back to…it”

“Sameen” Root’s voice said but suddenly Shaw could hear another voice on Root’s end.

“Sam, come back in here” it was Adina. She was calling Root _Sam_. Shaw’s jaw clenched. “If we try another position I’m positive you’ll be more comfortable.”

“Okay” Shaw said abruptly. “I get it, and I’m going.”

Shaw quickly tapped off her earpiece before Root had a chance to reply. _Idiot_ she practically screamed in her head and kicked a stone in front of her, watching it fall off the curb and clink down the drain.

She downed the rest of her coffee and tossed the cup into the bin, storming off down the road towards Finch’s. When she walked in the door slammed against the wall at the accidental force she used, Finch jumped in fright and Reese turned around slowly with a questioning look on his face.

“Hurricane Shaw” Reese said and Shaw rolled her eyes.

“I’ll kill you” Shaw said and Finch just frowned.

“Are you okay?” Finch asked with concern and Shaw folded her arms and stared at their board of numbers pretending to concentrate.

“Stop asking me that.” Shaw said and Finch glanced at Reese who sighed.

“What did you do?” Reese asked and Shaw just stared at him.

“I have guns” Shaw warned him and he held his hands up in surrender. “Tell me about our number Harold.”

*

“Do you even know anything about DJing?” Reese asked for the millionth time as he and Shaw sat in the car watching their number get coffee with someone they couldn’t recognise.

“Yes” Shaw said. “I have hobbies.”

“You can understand why that’s shocking, right?” Reese asked and Shaw turned to him slowly, rolling her eyes.

“What’s shocking is how many times you have to ask the same question and not have the brain capacity to take on the answer” Shaw said and Reese just stared at her unfazed.

“What did you do?” Reese said. “Because this anger is not directed at me.”

“I do not want a shrink session from you, John” Shaw said and Reese just watched her.

“Let me rephrase then, with my tiny brain” Reese said. “What did you do to Root?”

Shaw froze, and forced herself to keep looking out the window unfocused.

“Oh, now there’s something” Reese said still looking at Shaw’s unusual reaction.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Shaw said and turned to him finally once she’d mentally gathered herself.

“Don’t lie” Reese said.

“Don’t pry” Shaw shot back. Reese just smirked and Shaw frowned. “What?”

“I called it” Reese said. “I knew something was up with you two”

“Nothing is up” Shaw said. “It’s nothing.”

“Does she know that?” Reese asked and Shaw glared at him.

“Stop it” Shaw said.

“What are you like dating?” Reese continued and Shaw slammed her hands onto the dash forcefully jolting the car.

“I said stop” she growled and Reese arched an eyebrow and just waited for her to calm down. She sat back in her seat and let out a frustrated huff.

“We’re _not_ dating” Shaw clarified. “We’re not anything, I don’t even think we’re friends anymore.”

“I didn’t know you were friends to begin with” Reese shrugged and Shaw rolled her eyes.

“Friends has a loose definition in my book” Shaw said and Reese smirked.

“You sleep with all your friends?” he asked and Shaw hissed.

“Can we just focus” Shaw asked and Reese looked out the window where the number was still having a conversation with some other guy.

“Does Root know you’re going undercover in a club run by the mob?” Reese asked and Shaw just glared at him.

“No, she doesn’t” Shaw said “Why would she care?”

Reese opened his mouth but Shaw was quick to cut him off.

“Don’t answer that actually, if you want to keep your balls.”

Reese raised an eyebrow but kept his mouth shut. Shaw stared out the window at their number and couldn’t help but wonder if Root would actually care or not.

Clearly she wouldn’t. She couldn’t get the sound of Adina’s voice out of her head since this morning. It had counted for something that Root had answered though right? But what followed. Ugh. _Ugh._ Shaw could barely even think about it without a fiery rage swarming her veins. She knew this is what it would have felt like for Root. And she hated that she had ever fucking made such a stupid mistake. What Root was doing to her wouldn’t hurt her as much as it had hurt Root. But she got the point. Loud and clear.

*

Root spent the rest of the day annoyed at herself. Shaw had called this morning and Root had no idea why. It wasn’t her fault Adina had come looking for her and cut their call short. But it was obvious that Shaw had heard her and immediately jumped to conclusions, upset, hurt. Exactly what Root had felt.

But what amazed Root the most was that Shaw was actually feeling those things. She was angry enough to hang up on Root, because it hurt her to hear Adina with Root.

But Root was still annoyed that she couldn’t bring herself to call Shaw back. It had been a few days now and she had fallen into a routine of not pestering Shaw throughout the day, of holding back every time she went to call her or check in. Giving the cold shoulder was just starting to come easier, dulling out those instincts to reach out to Shaw. But now that itch was back. She wanted to call Shaw, ask why she had called this morning. Talk. Figure this out. Root knew she couldn’t stay angry forever. And she wouldn’t.

The initial hurt from this was over. She could feel herself moving on already, with or without Shaw. She was getting past it. Yes it had shaken her. Shaken her because she never expected Shaw to do something like that. To be so disloyal to a promise so quickly. But she also understood why Shaw had done that. It was because she was scared. Shaw would never admit that but Root knew. She could tell from everything that happened afterwards. Shaw didn’t know what she was doing, she didn’t know how to handle _feelings_. Or whatever it was that was suddenly shaking her out of her comfort zone.

She could tell that’s why Shaw got drunk and came over, maybe why she called this morning and didn’t say anything in particular.

And Root wasn’t meeting her in the middle. She wanted to but she wasn’t. So maybe she had gotten a little flirty with Adina today, but it was nothing. It didn’t even make her feel better, eye for an eye and all that. It didn’t help. Adina had kissed her, well, not quite. It was the corner of her mouth but still. She had let it happen.

Root wondered whether she should go and find Shaw. The Machine had just given her a new mission though, some gang run club in Brooklyn. She hadn’t specified what Root needed to do yet, just that she had to be there. Root was tired. What with being awake late with a drunk Shaw most of the night, she hadn’t gotten a lot of sleep even after they had said goodnight. She had lay in bed for and endless amount of time thinking how close Shaw was to her. But how far at the same time.

Root had settled with a sound amount of leather to help her blend in at the club. Annoyingly high heeled boots, leather shorts, almost transparent white top and her leather jacket. Not completely revealing. But just enough to get her through the doors.

It was hot inside the club, she could feel the leather making her sweat almost immediately. It was crowded but she didn’t feel claustrophobic, yet. The music was thumping, the bass shaking the walls. People were drunk, dancing, half naked. She could see Al in the corner, on a velvet couch surrounded by women and guards. Al was the right hand man of the gang leader. The Machine had informed Root he wouldn’t be making an appearance tonight, so she would go completely unnoticed. It was Al that was more of a problem anyway, not that The Machine seemed to care. She still hadn’t told Root why she was here.

Root wandered through the club narrowly avoiding any run ins with drunk girls, she leaned against the bar and ordered a drink. As she waited for it her eyes scanned the club looking for anything out of the ordinary that The Machine might have picked up. So far everything seemed like the usual chaos of a night club. And then she saw it. The crowd parted just enough in the middle for Root to see the DJ.

That wasn’t just a DJ either, that was Shaw. Shaw who was wearing practically nothing except a black bralette and ripped shorts. Root stared at her from the bar, her mouth was open in shock. Her heart immediately started rushing. This was why The Machine had sent her here. It had to be. She had been tricked. By her God.

Root picked up her drink and immediately downed it. _Oh god_ she thought. What was she going to do. What could she do but go over to Shaw. She could leave. But that would defeat the entire purpose of her coming here. She swallowed hard, tasting the vodka in her throat.

Root watched Shaw for a few more moments, she clearly knew what she was doing with the set up. She had headphones on, one on an ear, the other sitting just behind. She looked concentrated as she moved the sliders, Root watched her hands, her fingers. Then suddenly she was out of her seat.

*

Shaw looked up when she felt the presence of someone standing right in front of her. Probably another asshole recommending bullshit songs, she thought as she lifted her head but almost choked on her saliva when she saw Root standing in front of her. Root didn’t seem to look quite as startled to see her, but there was still something on her face that told Shaw this was unexpected for her too.

“So this is how you spend your evenings” Root said over the music, Shaw adjusted a few controls and pulled the headphones off, letting them sit around her neck as she gestured for Root to come behind.

Root seemed hesitant for a second before she climbed up onto the platform Shaw was on and slid around her set up.

“I could say the same for you” Shaw said watching Root closely wondering what the fuck she was doing at this place. They stared at each other for a moment in silence.

“This is a pretty shady place” Root pointed out “You’re surrounded by pretty dangerous people”

“Search me” Shaw said and Root just looked at her. Was she serious?

“I’ll take your word for it” Root said and Shaw just raised an eyebrow at Root, who then moved closer slipping her hands around Shaw’s waist and immediately knocking her fingers against two 9mm that were sticking out of her shorts.

“Subtle” Root said and took a step back from Shaw who just smirked.

“So is this where Adina hangs out?” Shaw asked and Root rolled her eyes.

“Adina lives on the Upper East Side” Root pointed out.

“Of course she does” Shaw said and stared at her laptop.

“Sameen,” Root said “We were at yoga.”

Shaw looked over at Root and arched an eyebrow.

“What?”

“This morning, after breakfast” Root said “She took me to her yoga class”

Shaw just stared at Root blankly, she blinked a couple of times.

“You’re fucking with me right?” Shaw asked. “ _You_ went to yoga?”

“I’m just saying” Root said lowering her voice a little and dodging eye contact with Shaw. “Whatever you thought you heard this morning was just me, being tortured.”

“You didn’t deserve that” Shaw said and Root looked up at her, their eyes meeting.

“No,” she said. “I didn’t.”

They both knew they weren’t talking about yoga anymore. Another gap of silence stretched between them and Root looked at Shaw’s DJ set up.

“So you actually know what you’re doing?” Root asked and Shaw glanced at her.

“Why is everyone so surprised I can do more than just shoot people?” Shaw asked and Root smirked.

“I think you’re probably capable of a lot of things” Root said and a frown twitched across Shaw’s forehead as she realised again, Root was almost in a different conversation.

After a sensible beat of silence Shaw spoke. 

"What exactly are you doing here?" she asked and Root just shrugged looking off into the crowd of sweaty people dancing and grinding up on each other.

"The Machine," she said tentatively "I think she wanted me here" Root said and then turned to look back at Shaw who was watching her. "Now I get why."

Shaw raised an eyebrow as she stared at Root, somehow entranced by the way the harsh blue and red contrasting lights were hitting Root's face and making her look even more beautiful.

"The Machine is meddling in our relationship now too?" Shaw said and rolled her eyes as if it were expected but still unbelievable. 

 _Our relationship._ Root heard it. Shaw didn't notice. The smallest slip. The biggest difference.

In the silence that fell between them Shaw turned back to her set, adjusting a couple of levels and looking at her laptop screen. Root watched her.

“So, what time do you get off?” Root found herself asking unable to stand the silence between them any longer. For a place that was so loud, their lack of words was almost more deafening. Shaw immediately turned to look at her. There was confusion behind her eyes but that quickly got drowned out by the relief that replaced it.

“Club closes at 3,” Shaw said and glanced at the time “I don’t think you’re gonna hang around that long for me.”

We’ll see” Root said with a small smile. She was losing her grip on her anger towards Shaw. It was slipping through her fingers like sand and she couldn’t stop it, and honestly, she didn’t know that she wanted to. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> damn i love these two so much. that's all.
> 
> share your thoughts x


	12. Chapter 12

When Shaw’s shift finally ended she changed back into jeans and a t-shirt, then grabbed her bag from behind the bar and staggered out into the night. The sun was starting to come up already. Her body felt tired. She didn’t know how long this cover would stick for so she would have to get used to these late nights. Or maybe she’d have a different assignment in a few hours, it was impossible to know.

Shaw looked up at the sky, it was dark and inky, but just towards the horizon she could see the light cracking. She started walking towards the nearest subway station, then out of nowhere someone appeared beside her. Shaw was armed, she was barely fazed by the presence of another person. But as she turned to see what they wanted she was almost shocked to see Root.

It wasn’t that she had forgotten about Root’s strange little stop by at the club earlier, it’s just she had assumed Root would go home, considering at the time Shaw had over 5 hours of her shift left.

But, there she was. Shaw just stared at her, unable to form words. Root smirked a little seeing the baffled look on Shaw’s face.

“You’re still here?” Shaw said finally then glanced down at Root’s legs. She still had nothing on but those leather shorts. Not that Shaw minded. But it wasn’t exactly warm. “Aren’t you…cold?”

Root stared at Shaw for a few extra seconds before glancing down at her legs.

“It’s fine” Root said with a shrug and Shaw narrowed her eyes.

“You weren’t here the whole time were you?” Shaw asked and Root smirked.

“I worked up a bit of a sweat at the loading docks” Root said nonchalantly and Shaw just stared at her.

“Doing what?” Shaw asked then quickly added. “Do I even want to know?”

Root laughed a little. Music to Shaw’s ears.

“No” Root said “but only because you’ll get jealous”

Shaw lifted an eyebrow. “Jealous?”

“Bad boys and big guns” Root said and Shaw bit her lip.

“You know I’m more of a bad girls with big guns kinda person” Shaw said and Root just glanced at her sideways. _That wasn’t subtle Sameen_ she thought to herself. But it was definitely hot.

“So,” Shaw said. “What are you doing now?”

“At 4am?” Root smirked. “I was hoping you’d have some ideas.”

Shaw watched Root for a few more steps and then stopped walking, a frown denting her forehead as she looked at the pavement. Root noticed she had fallen back and stopped walking, turning around to look at her in confusion.

“What?” Root asked.

Shaw looked up at her. “What are you doing?”

“You just asked me that” Root said.

“No” Shaw said “No, I mean what are you doing here, with me? Last time I checked you were less than impressed with the idea of being around me.”

“Was that before or after you broke into my place?” Root asked and Shaw just sighed.

“I _just_ don’t get it” Shaw said quietly and Root took a step closer to her. “I thought you hated me.”

“Well you’re wrong about that” Root said softly looking at Shaw, who was staring at the concrete again trying to internally process what was happening.

“But just because I don’t hate you doesn’t mean everything is fine” Root said. “That hurt, a lot. But these things fade eventually.”

“I spent all day thinking you’d slept with Adina” Shaw admitted and glanced at Root.

“Good” Root said “I wanted you to get it, but…” her voice trailed off as she looked at her hands. “I was never going to fuck her.”

Shaw lifted an eyebrow. “Really?”

“You seem genuinely surprised” Root smirked “I have self control you know, unlike some people”

Shaw frowned and looked away. “I’m sorry” she said for about the hundredth time.

“Stop saying that now” Root said.

“I don’t want to” Shaw said.

They both stared at each other, it was a gaze more like. An unbreaking gaze. As they looked at each other, the ambient sounds of the city surrounding them. But it felt quiet, it felt calm. They were both thinking the exact same thing. _I want to kiss her._ But neither of them made the move.

Shaw moved away first, looking over Root’s shoulder and seeing another glimpse of the sun starting to come up.

“Come with me” Shaw said suddenly and turned her attention back to Root who quirked an eyebrow curiously.

“Where are we going?” Root asked as she started following Shaw.

“The bridge” Shaw said.

“Why?”

“Shut up.”

They mostly walked in silence, it seemed only right at this time of the morning to be quiet, soft. Not make too much sound. Everything kept moving and making sound in the city at night, but it seemed dulled, like the volume was turned down while people slept.

Root couldn’t help but sneak glances at Shaw as they walked. She looked tired, her hair was messy and loosely pulled back, a couple of wavy strands fallen around her face. Root wanted to reach out and touch her, she was _right_ there. But she didn’t.

She wondered why Shaw was taking them to the bridge, she didn’t care to be honest. What mattered was Shaw had a plan, that involved both of them. And whatever it was, Root found it stupidly cute. It annoyed her how easily Shaw captured her heart. She didn’t want this to happen. She didn’t. Fuck buddies weren’t meant to be quite this cute. _Don’t fall in love_ Root reminded herself. _Do not. Fall. In love._

When they got to the base of the bridge Shaw tossed her bag onto one of the benches and looked towards the skyline of Manhattan, the light was still coming. They’d have to wait. She climbed onto the bench and sat on the back of it. Root raised an eyebrow.

“Patience” Shaw said and Root smirked.

“Whatever” Root said trying to pull off a believable nonchalance.

“I still don’t get it you know” Shaw said and Root looked towards her. “You’re here, even after what I did.”

“You want me to be though, right?” Root asked and Shaw just looked at her, straight in the eyes.

“Why would you ask me that?”

“That’s not an answer” Root said. Shaw rolled her eyes.

“If you just want to hear me admit that I do,” Shaw said “then yeah.”

Root just looked at her. “Good.”

“I still don’t know where that leaves us” Shaw said. _Us. Stop it_ Root scolded herself.

“Me either” Root said and Shaw just frowned.

“Shouldn’t at least one of us know?” she asked and Root laughed.

“It’s not as simple as that Sameen” she said and Shaw shook her head.

“This is why I don’t have feelings” Shaw said “you need a fucking handbook to understand them”

“You have feelings Sam” Root said and Shaw rolled her eyes.

“No I don’t” she said.

“Anger is a feeling” Root pointed out and Shaw smirked. “Hunger is also a feeling.”

“I get your point” Shaw said “I just don’t have the full spectrum”

“I think you do” Root argued and Shaw just stared at her.

“But what?” Shaw said “The volume’s just turned out?”

Root looked at her and nodded.

“Hm,” Shaw huffed “Common theory.”

Root looked at the grass in front of them. There were a thousand things she wanted to say, but she couldn’t manage to bring any of them to the tip of her tongue.

“If you don’t trust me anymore I get it” Shaw said suddenly and Root looked at her. It was incredible seeing a different side of Shaw. The side no one else got to see. It’s not like this side was reserved just for Root, or maybe it was. And she kind of hoped so. Shaw was such a closed off person about so many things, there were walls and walls and walls before you could get anywhere close to her. But with Root, it felt like she was right there. She didn’t just mumble three word answers. She started the conversation, she thought about what she wanted to say. She asked questions. She didn’t feel so far away, so untouchable.

“We’re not in a relationship so telling you it won’t happen again is just ridiculous” Shaw said “but I do promise to tell you next time”

“Tell me you’re going to fuck someone else?” Root asked and Shaw just stared at her.

“If it makes me feel less like I’m cheating on you, then yeah” Shaw said and Root’s mouth fell open.

“So you feel guilt too” Root smirked “interesting.”

Shaw rolled her eyes and bumped Root with her elbow just enough for her to lose her balance a little and quickly grab onto the seat before she fell off the back.

“I didn’t do it because…” Shaw started then just shook her head and looked away. “Never mind.”

“No” Root said “Finish that sentence.”

Shaw looked at her with a frown.

“It’s complicated” Shaw said.

“As is life” Root shrugged.

“I guess I was trying to figure out whether I did it because of who I am, or because of you” Shaw said and glanced at Root, catching sight of those dark eyes.

“And?” Root asked expectantly.

“Both and neither” Shaw said. “I’m not the type to break agreements, I’m also not the type to cage myself in, which leaves you”

Root chewed on her bottom lip.

“But I didn’t do it because of you” Shaw said almost adamantly.

“You didn’t?” Root asked and the sound of that question made Shaw question everything she was trying to process.

“That’s why I said it was complicated” Shaw said with a frown and Root just looked at her.

“How about this then,” Root said “we just put this matter aside for a little while”

Shaw almost seemed shocked at that idea.

“Are you sure you want to do that?” Shaw asked “It was ruling most of your judgements yesterday.”

Root rolled her eyes. “Going around in circles doesn’t make it any easier either”

The sun was beginning to creep up, just getting high enough so that it was shining toward the buildings, starting to illuminate them in a golden glow. Shaw looked towards the skyline but Root was still looking at Shaw. She was beautiful. She was so goddamn beautiful.

When Root finally moved her eyes off Shaw and looked towards the skyscrapers a small gasp fell from her lips at the sight of Manhattan at sunrise. She immediately looked back at Shaw who was expectantly waiting for a reaction.

“It’s magic” Root said with wide eyes and Shaw just smiled.

“Yeah” Shaw said looking at Root. “It is.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> damn it Sameen that was too cute !! they finally talked it out...kind of. progress. 
> 
> thank you guys so much for reading, and all your constant lovely comments! it honestly means a lot!
> 
> let me know what you think of this one! always open to suggestions x


	13. Chapter 13

Root was asleep on Shaw’s bed. In her apartment. On her bed. Asleep. Turns out pulling an all nighter was a lot for a tired hacker who had spent the previous night dealing with a drunk Shaw. They had watched the sunrise and tried not to kiss each other, then come back to Shaw’s mostly because it was closer and Root was losing energy with every step. She wasn’t going to admit she was cold, and she wasn’t going to take Shaw’s jacket either. Because she was still annoyed. Not that that made any sense to Shaw, who had forcefully pinned her jacket around Root’s shoulders anyway and shot her a death glare if she even tried to consider giving it back.

Shaw’s place was a piece of shit compared to Root’s, she had all of two pieces of furniture. One was a fridge, and the other was a bed.

Shaw was tired, but she would survive. Root on the other hand climbed onto Shaw’s bed as soon as they walked in, curling up under the covers, her eyes immediately shutting.

Shaw didn’t make anything of Root’s behaviour. She was cold and tired, and there was a bed and blankets in front of her. It wasn’t anything special just because it was Shaw’s bed. Although Shaw did count the fact that Root came back to hers as a positive.

But as soon as Root fell asleep Shaw immediately felt uncomfortable. What was she meant to do. There was no telling how long Root was going to be asleep, would it be 40 minutes or a solid 8 hours?

Shaw paced around her apartment for a solid few minutes trying to figure out what to do, she even reached an all time low of almost calling Reese to ask for backup. But she refrained. Instead she decided to go to the gym, burn off some of this excess energy. Yes she needed sleep. But she also needed to release this tension that she’d been carrying around for the past few days. And she damn well wasn’t about to climb into bed next to Root.

She changed into her gym gear and grabbed her bag and a pen. Then before she left scrawled the word ‘gym’ onto Root’s arm in case she woke up.

*

Shaw was gone for a few solid hours. She went to the gym, worked out until her muscles ached, took a shower, drank a protein shake and then went over to Finch’s to have a nap on his couch. He looked at her curiously as she walked in in gym gear and she just rolled her eyes.

“Have you slept?” he asked and she just dumped her bag on the floor with a thud and threw herself onto the couch with a gruff mumble.

“I thought you had a bed?” Finch asked and Shaw kept her eyes shut as she replied.

“Root” she muttered and Finch raised an eyebrow.

“Did she… steal it?” he asked in confusion, with no idea what was going on between the two of them. But Shaw was practically asleep before she could get the answer out of her mouth.

When she woke up Finch and Reese were both out, it had been a couple of hours. She let out a sigh and figured she should probably go and check on Root. Not that she needed checking on… but it was her apartment. Why did she hesitate. Goddamn it.

She grabbed her bag and made her way back to her place, stopping to get two coffees on the way, remembering that Root always put sugar in hers. Fucking disgusting. But whatever, that was Root. She did weird shit like that.

As Shaw threw open the door to her apartment she immediately saw Root was out of bed. She was standing by the window the stretching, looking out through the dust at the shitty view of the back of the buildings. She turned around when she heard the door open and smiled when she saw Shaw.

“I got your message” she said and bit her lip, turning her arm towards Shaw revealing the smudged gym message. Shaw smirked a little and handed Root a coffee.

“A lot of thought went into that” Shaw said and Root rolled her eyes taking a sip from the coffee and humming happily.

“Your bed is pretty comfy” Root said looking over the top of the cup at Shaw.

“I’m glad it could be of service” Shaw said and Root just watched her.

“Where did you go?”

“Gym” Shaw shrugged “Finch’s.”

Root raised an eyebrow. “DJ cover getting replaced?”

Shaw shook her head and took a sip from her coffee.

“I took a nap” Shaw said and put her things down, sitting on the edge of her bed facing Root near the window still.

“You went to Finch’s for a nap?” Root asked “You could have just come back here.”

“You were asleep” Shaw said “I didn’t want to disturb you.”

“It’s your place Sameen” Root pointed out and Shaw just shrugged.

“It’s fine.”

Root paused for a moment. “Your bed has more than enough room.”

Shaw looked at her, a thousand thoughts racing through her mind.

“I know that” she said slowly. Root looked at her, as if she wanted to say something. Instead she moved towards the door.

“I should…get going” she said and looked around in case she was forgetting anything. Shaw raised an eyebrow.

“You can stay” Shaw suggested but Root just stared at the wooden floor.

“She, uh, has some work for me to do” Root said quietly.

“Does she?” Shaw asked. “Or do you just want to go?”

Root looked at her, the smallest frown twitching on her forehead. “Sameen,” she said softly. “I wouldn’t lie to you.”

Those words carried a lot more weight than Shaw had expected. She suddenly couldn’t find any words, so instead she just nodded, and Root went for the door.

“Root,” Shaw said suddenly as Root was halfway out the door. Root paused immediately and glanced back at Shaw.

“Yeah Sam?”

“Do you want to do something tonight?” Shaw asked bluntly, the words tumbling from her mouth without further thought. Root stared at her.

“Like, each other?” she said with a slight hesitation and Shaw just shrugged. That hadn’t been exactly what she had in mind.

“I mean, or something else” Shaw said and Root just looked at her.

“Okay” she said with a small nod. It felt like Shaw had been holding her breath up until to the moment Root said okay. Finally she could breathe again. Shaw didn’t say anything else, she let Root leave. Then immediately smiled as soon as the door shut. Progress.

*

Shaw spent the rest of the day wondering what the fuck she was going to do with Root that night, apart from try not to fuck anything up, or kiss her. She wanted to kiss her, which was annoying and frustrating and weird. But she didn’t want to kiss her, because she was trying to make a point. Whatever the fuck that point was. She was a good person. Most of the time. She tried to be. And Root needed to remember that. And somehow in Shaw’s jumbled thoughts that amounted to not kissing her. Whatever. Stop thinking about it, Sameen. She told herself. Every time Root crossed her mind her thoughts just got more and more tangled. She hated it. There was no logic whatsoever, no facts she could line up. No easy solution. Root was like a walking nightmare in Shaw’s life. But somehow she kept coming back to it willingly.

Shaw didn’t need to overthink it though, because around 5pm Root called her.

“Hey Sameen” Root’s voice said through her earpiece “I hope you’re not busy.”

“Why?” Shaw asked curiously.

“I’m in a bit of situation” Root said and Shaw was suddenly intrigued.

“Does it call for my 37mil?” Shaw asked and could practically hear Root smile.

“You know how you wanted to do something later?” Root asked and Shaw froze.

“…yeah”

“Well,” Root said “Later is now.”

“Could you be more specific?” Shaw asked.

“Turns out Adina is in some serious shit with Retrospect” Root said “And trying to save her has landed me in quite the predicament”

“Retrospect is what?” Shaw asked.

“A giant online software company” Root said “And they also have guns.”

“Oh.” Shaw said. “I’m on my way.”

“Sending you the address now” Root said.

This was work Shaw reminded herself as she barged into the office complex. This was not a rescue mission, Root just wanted backup. Because this was work. She reminded herself that over and over again with every guard she took out. Every agent with a gun. Every level she climbed in the elevator to get to Root.

When the elevator doors opened all she could hear was gunfire. The office was wrecked, broken computers, paper everywhere. In the middle of it all she saw Root. Clearly she had a new cover. But it stopped Shaw almost dead in her tracks. Crisp blue button down shirt, red lips, her glasses on top of her head, black pants, pulling across her ass as she was crouched behind a desk. She looked over at Shaw and smirked. Shaw raised an eyebrow before taking out the guys that were shooting at her. She ran over to Root and skidded down beside her dodging a stray bullet.

“Thanks for coming” Root said and glanced at Shaw.

“I never say no to a fight” Shaw said and Root smirked.

“I’m not sure that’s always a good thing, Sam” she said as she fired off a round at the remaining shooters. Shaw joined her instantly. It was almost stupid how in sync they were when it came to gun battles. How perfectly timed they were with one another. Shaw could feel the adrenaline racing through her veins. She thrived off this kind of stuff. She loved it. Root could see that.

Root had to admit the moment the elevator doors opened and she saw Shaw standing there, head to toe in black, a gun in each hand, she had felt a surge of energy rush through her body. Her heart had skipped a beat. Shaw had been looking right at her. _Don’t fall in love_ she had told herself in that moment. _Don’t._

She felt Shaw shooting right alongside her, their arms almost touching. They took out the last shooters and suddenly silence fell through the office. They’d won. For now. Root dropped back down behind the table, setting her gun on the floor and turning towards Shaw. _Don’t kiss her._

Shaw looked at her. Their eyes met. Suddenly their lips met too. Shaw had Root by the sharp collar of her blue shirt, kissing her hard. Root felt like a schoolgirl being kissed for the first time by a kid her parents would not approve of. Exhilarated, she kissed Shaw back. Red lipstick smudging. Tongues. Hands. A soft and almost embarrassing moan escaping from Root’s lips before she could trap it. Hungry for more, hungry for each other. Not that they’d admit that. Shaw pulled away first.

“Sorry” she muttered under her breath and Root just stared at her breathlessly. Her red lipstick smeared across Shaw’s face. They looked at each other again slowly. They didn’t know what to say. What were they supposed to say.

“Yours or mine?” were the words that came from Root’s mouth following the silence. Shaw looked at her.

“Are you sure?” she asked and Root just stared at her. Dark eyes. Fixated. Hungry. There was no question. “Mines closer.”

*

It was almost nerve-wracking until they remembered why they both enjoyed it so much. Root felt more nervous than she had before they had sex for the first time. She could feel her heart racing. She knew she was probably being stupid letting this happen again so soon after she had been hurt. But she couldn’t resist it. She wanted Shaw. Now. And people made mistakes right? Especially sociopaths who are learning to care.

She was nervous until their clothes were off. In scattered piles across Shaw’s floor.

Shaw had her pinned against the wall, kissing her neck, sucking, biting, hands wandering. And Root smirked, pushing her knee between Shaw’s legs.

“Fuck me” she whispered and Shaw’s eyes met with hers. That was an instruction. Nervous? No.

Shaw grabbed Root’s jaw and forced her head to the side, biting her neck then kissing it. She was addicted to the smell of Root, the taste of her skin was almost sweet.

She pushed Root back onto her bed. This was probably a bad idea. But Root initiated. She could stop it though, if she thought it was going to result in more shit. But she didn’t. Neither of them did.

She fucked Root, good, hard, until she swore she could feel the weak walls of her apartment vibrating with Root’s screams. Root was easy compared to Shaw. She was gone at Shaw’s slightest touch. The brush of her fingertips, her tongue, her lips, the weight of Shaw’s body on top of her.

Shaw took a moment to let her hands wander Root’s body, let her hands feel Root’s soft skin, trace her bones, feel her breathing, outline each rib, her nipples, the curve of her tits, the dip in her waist. She loved Root’s body, she could easily admit that. She pushed her fingers deep into Root and watched her back arch perfectly underneath her. Shaw watched her lips part, watched her suck the air in, her perfect long eyelashes fluttering, her skin flushing pink. Shaw pushed her to orgasm twice, first with fingers, then with tongue, she felt Root’s body tremble after the second. Shaw licked her fingers clean and kissed the middle of Root’s stomach. Root’s breath was ragged as she lay there, an arm thrown over her forehead she stared at the ceiling, lips still parted.

“You okay?” Shaw had to check. Root just nodded.

“You’re too good at that” Root said eventually.

“Practice makes perfect” Shaw smirked and Root just shot her a look. Shaw rolled her eyes.

“I meant with you.”

“Did you?” Root asked, she was trailing a finger up and down the crevice between her boobs. Shaw was watching her finger. She reached out and grabbed Root’s hand, stopping it from moving, locking their fingers together.

“Yes.” Shaw said her jaw tight. Root watched her. _Don’t fall in love._

Root pulled her hand back after a few moments and sat up. She didn’t particularly want to move. She was tired, comfy, content. But she got up regardless. She started getting dressed and she could feel Shaw watching her closely as she tugged on her pants, then bra, then shirt.

“What are you doing?” Shaw asked. “You don’t need to go.”

“This is the second time I’ve used your bed today Sam” Root said as she did up the buttons on that fucking blue shirt that she looked so good in.

“So?” Shaw asked trying not to get distracted.

“I have my own bed” Root said and Shaw just raised an eyebrow.

“What are you implying?” Shaw asked and Root just leaned over to Shaw and wiped a smudge of red lipstick from the side of her mouth with a small smile.

“See you tomorrow, Sameen” she said her thumb overing at the corner of Shaw’s mouth for a moment, wanting to run it over Shaw’s perfect fucking lips but refraining. Barely. She pulled her hand back and grabbed her glasses, slipping them on before she headed for the door.

Shaw frowned. _Sex_ , she thought. That was their agreement. _Just sex._ So why did she feel so strange watching Root leave?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh man. they're so hot for each other whether they want to be or not.   
> note that Root didnt actually touch Sam... still some tender feelings there I think.
> 
> thoughts? feels? lemme know!
> 
> Sidenote: I see u all commenting on B&S and I'm fucking coming ok. Not. Forgotten. Chapter. Is. Coming. Thank you for being so fucking patient, it must be infuriating, but I promise I won't let you down! xxx


	14. Chapter 14

Shaw walked into Finch’s the next day and found Root sitting at in front of his computer with her feet kicked up on the desk. Shaw glanced around for Finch as she walked over to Root, immediately feeling a weird pull in her stomach. She hadn’t expected to see Root here, she hadn’t expected to see Root at all actually. Not after the way she nonchalantly had walked out yesterday. Leaving that weird almost bitter feeling in the pit of Shaw’s stomach that still hadn’t gone away.

“Hey” Shaw said and Root swivelled around without even a twitch of shock hearing Shaw’s voice.

“Sameen.” Root said and then looked back at the screen. Shaw lifted an eyebrow.

“Was that the whole sentence?” Shaw asked. Root smirked at her screen.

“You seem tense Sam” Root added still without turning around to look at her. Shaw folded her arms.

“I’m not” Shaw said and Root kept tapping at her keyboard.

Why is she ignoring me, Shaw thought with a frown creeping onto her face. It was something to do with yesterday she knew it. Maybe Root regretted sleeping with Shaw. Maybe she’d changed her mind and didn’t want this after all. Shaw shook her head a little, there was no way.

Shaw hadn’t been able to stop thinking about it, running it over and over in her mind the way Root just walked out. _Why_. Because it was just sex. Yes. But this was Root.

“I thought we were good” Shaw suddenly blurted out and Root stopped what she was doing.

“We are good” Root said slowly and Shaw raised an eyebrow still looking at the back of Root’s head.

 _Then why are you being like this?_ Shaw wanted to ask. She knew what happened with Tomas was still going to have repercussions, but this seemed…different. Or maybe it was just her, and whatever crap was inside her making her overthink this.

“Are you sure?” Shaw double checked. Suddenly Root was swinging her feet off the desk, turning around in the chair and directly facing Shaw.

“What’s going on, Sameen?” Root asked instead of reconfirming the answer.

“Nothing” Shaw shrugged and Root rolled her eyes.

“Clearly it’s something” Root said “or you wouldn’t be standing five feet away from me asking if we’re all good.”

A frown flickered on Shaw’s face as she contemplated denying everything. It would be easier, but would it solve anything? No. Unfortunately not. Although what needed solving was still…unconfirmed.

“I’m just…” Shaw paused “deliberating.”

“About what?” Root arched a brow curiously.

Shaw looked at the space between them and rolled her eyes.

“If um, if you left yesterday because you’re still mad at me, or if I’m just being a moronic loser” Shaw said with a slight cringe as she dodged Root’s eyes. Root opened her mouth to answer and then shut it again, looking at Shaw, gazing, almost.

“You’re not a _moronic loser_ ” Root said and Shaw glanced up at her, catching her eye.

“So you’re mad still?” Shaw said and Root just sighed, getting to her feet and taking a couple of steps closer to Shaw.

“No” Root said.

“Then what is it?” Shaw almost begged “because I am unclear.”

Root studied Shaw’s face, It was bothering her, Root could tell, it was eating at her that Root had just gotten up and left yesterday. She knew Shaw cared. It was obvious, but Shaw figuring that out for herself was a whole different situation, and Root wasn’t going to force her into that.

“I’m just being cautious” Root said “and our agreement was sex, not sex and sleepovers.”

Shaw frowned. “That’s not-”

“Sam” Root said “relax, you’re not in trouble, and I’m not mad, it’s that simple.”

Shaw looked at her. “It’s not.”

Root arched an eyebrow as if this were news to her and Shaw just looked away. Root knew better than to expect Shaw to just come out and say what she was thinking…or feeling for that matter. She reached out and touched Shaw’s arm lightly.

“It can be” Root said softly and Shaw lifted her eyes to meet with Root’s. “I’m not angry, _okay_?”

Shaw just nodded. She believed Root, she could see it in those damn warm brown eyes that Root meant it. She wasn’t mad, she was just protecting herself from Shaw fucking her over again. And the fact she had to do that made Shaw uncomfortable. She wouldn’t hurt Root again, ever. The fact she had in the first place made her deeply infuriated with herself. Root was one of the very few good things in her life. She wouldn’t risk that, again.

Root smiled a little at Shaw, she seemed less tense now. Everything about her had softened a little the moment Root had reached out and touched her arm. Shaw let out a sigh and shook her head a little.

“Sorry” she said “I’m being such a douche.”

Root just smirked and looked at her. “I don’t think that’s the right word for it”

Shaw looked back at her. “And what would be?”

“You wouldn’t like it.”

“Try me.”

Root just grinned, and didn’t answer. Shaw just stared at her as she sat back down and went back to whatever it was she had been doing on Finch’s laptop. Shaw understood that Root wouldn’t tell her, she knew there was no point in pressing. Instead she took a step forward towards the chair Root was sitting on and grabbed the back of it with both hands.

“So, what are you doing later?” Shaw asked there had been a brief pause of hesitance before the words had left her mouth, but undoubtedly she let them fall out anyway.

Root leaned back in the chair against Shaw’s fingers.

“I don’t know yet” Root said coyly and Shaw rolled her eyes with a smirk.

“Well you could come over” Shaw said and spun the chair around so Root was facing her. Their eyes met. Root’s cheeks were a little pink. “and not for a _sleepover_.”

Root just smirked with amusement. “Again already?”

“Why not?” Shaw asked “I’ve got nothing better to do.”

“Or no one” Root added quirking an eyebrow that made Shaw frown.

“Don’t do that.” Shaw said firmly.

“Do what?” Root asked innocently, snaking her fingers into Shaw’s belt loops and giving them a rough tug pulling Shaw closer, between her legs.

“Don’t mention _that_ ” Shaw said looking down at her.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t” Root said.

“I could give you a whole list” Shaw said “starting with, because it sucks.”

Root narrowed her eyes. “Not good enough.”

Shaw just stared at her. What was she doing. For once she felt like she didn’t understand Root. Not that she would ever admit to 100% understanding what went on in that brain of hers. But sometimes it felt like she was the person closest to her, that understood her the most. But right now she couldn’t tell what was going on behind those eyes.

“Because I hurt you,” Shaw said “and I don’t like to think about it.”

Root raised an eyebrow, Shaw could see the words basically reaching Root’s heart. The look on her face softening for a millisecond before she quickly regained control and her jaw tightened. Shaw almost frowned at the reaction, it was like Root was refusing to let herself feel, whatever it was that she was feeling around Shaw.

“I guess that’s good enough” Root said and popped open the button on Shaw’s jeans, flicking down the zipper. Shaw arched an eyebrow.

“What are you doing?” Shaw asked.

“Why wait for tonight?” Root said and Shaw opened her mouth to answer, but before she could Root had stood up, spun Shaw around and backed her up against the desk, planting a deep kiss on her lips.

Shaw grabbed at the desk she was suddenly leaning against, but Root pulled her hands away putting them on her chest. Shaw groaned as Root leaned her body weight onto her, pressing a knee between Shaw’s legs.

“What if Finch-” Shaw started but Root cut her mumble off.

“He won’t” Root whispered against her lips.

Root kissed Shaw, kissed along her jaw, down her neck, biting on her shoulder enough to leave tiny red teeth marks. She let Shaw move against her leg, let her hands roam underneath her shirt, squeezing lightly at her skin, dragging her nails over Root’s back, she let Shaw’s hands wander down into her pants.

Root still wasn’t touching Shaw like that, even though she wanted to. Instead she was just teasing her, and teasing her, letting her do it herself.

Shaw looked at her, it was a brief glance nothing more. But in those two seconds that she watched Shaw looking at her, she felt her heart. Shaw was checking to make sure she was okay, that this was what she wanted. She didn’t need to say it. She just needed to check quietly. With her eyes.

 _Don’t fall in love._ Root told herself, repeating it in her head over and over again until suddenly she closed her eyes and couldn’t take it anymore. She didn’t hear the door. Neither did Shaw. She pushed herself away from Shaw. _Don’t fall in love. This is how you fall in love._

“What?” Shaw asked eyes wide, fingers soaked. Root could barely look at her, but she did. But before she could answer Shaw’s eyes widened and Root spun around, seeing Finch standing behind her. He looked even more mortified than Shaw had. He swallowed, hard and then spun on his heel muttering something under his breath.

Root turned back to Shaw who was staring at the empty space where Finch had just been standing. Her palm leaned against the desk behind her, two fingers gleamed with a white wetness as they stuck up in the air. There was no hiding what had just been happening. Root’s shirt was half off, their pants undone. But the distance between them was something that needed explaining.

Shaw eventually looked back at Root.

“What just happened?” Shaw asked, Root just eyed Shaw’s fingers.

“I think you were there” Root said and Shaw rolled her eyes quickly licking her fingers.

“You moved away before he was there” Shaw said and Root said nothing. “It wasn’t because of him.” Shaw added and Root just looked down, zipping her pants back up and straightening her shirt.

“I should go” Root said.

Shaw just frowned in disbelief. “No way, you can’t just leave.”

“For Harry’s sake, I think I probably should.” Root replied.

“And what about for my sake?” Shaw asked and Root stopped, glancing at her.

“You’ll live” Root said with a slight smile, but Shaw wasn’t pleased.

“Can you just tell me what happened?” Shaw asked. “Did I…hurt you?”

“No, Sam” Root shook her head almost as if she were embarrassed suddenly “no,” she said again.

“Then what?” Shaw asked.

“I can’t…” Root shrugged and looked away. Shaw kept her distance, she felt she knew Root well enough in this moment to know if she got any closer Root would just move away. She knew that, because she would do the same. Whatever was happening in Root’s head was a solitary problem, that much was obvious, someone else couldn’t swoop in and fix this for her. Shaw didn’t want to make it worse. But she did wish she understood.

But by the time she went to say something, Root was gone.

Shaw just stayed there, leaning against Finch’s desk lost in her own contemplation about what the fuck was happening. Then suddenly someone cleared their throat. She snapped out of it and saw Finch hovering by his chair looking at it suspiciously.

Shaw leapt forward and awkwardly looked down.

“Sorry” she muttered and felt Finch staring at her.

“Your zipper, Ms Shaw” Finch said and carefully took his seat. Shaw glanced down and saw her jeans were still very much undone. She quickly did them up and looked around.

“That wasn’t…”

“I really don’t need to know Ms Shaw” Finch said almost looking pained.

“Okay” Shaw said quickly “sorry” she muttered again as she quickly grabbed her jacket and bolted for the door.

She didn’t hear from Root for the rest of the day. Not that she anticipated she would. Not after whatever it was that happened, she figured Root would retreat into one of her shells and not come out until Shaw basically dragged her. Because she wanted answers. She needed them.

Just because she hadn’t heard from Root didn’t stop her from thinking about her, like all the fucking time. Root crossed Shaw’s mind more than she thought were humanly possible. It’s almost like Root’s silence was bothering Shaw even more than her presence would. Every time she got a new message she would check it too eagerly hoping it was from Root, and then feel that sinking feeling in her stomach only to discover it wasn’t. It was annoying. It was stupid. She willed it to stop but she couldn’t control it. She couldn’t get that look on Root’s face out of her mind, like she was trying to repress immediately any emotion she was feeling around Shaw.

Shaw couldn’t imagine why that would be. Root was a person who felt everything. Unless Shaw had hurt her so badly…that she didn’t want to anymore. She needed answers. Shaw’s fists were balled up by the time she got home. She angrily slammed her fridge door shut as she knocked the cap off a beer and took a long sip. All this thinking, all these stupid mind gripping thoughts about Root were infuriating her. Mostly because there was nothing she could actively be doing about it. She couldn’t just fix this.

She wasn’t used to that. Shaw threw herself down on her stolen couch, she stared at the ceiling. _Why, Root?_ She thought. _Why?_

Then there was a knock at her door. Shaw leapt to her feet, it could only be one person. She threw the door open.

“Thank god you’re-” Shaw started then suddenly stopped her face falling “bleeding.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys so much for being so patient, i'm still here i swear i haven't abandoned either of these stories! i'm currently in a crunch period of my semester right now, but I'll try and update whenever I can!
> 
> you guys are amazing, thank you for your endless support! please hang in there! xxxx
> 
> let me know what you think.... i think Root is fighting an un-winnable war with herself at the moment.. ;)


	15. Chapter 15

“What happened?” Shaw asked grabbing Root by the arm and practically pulling her inside. Root winced at little at the sudden jerking movement, but followed Shaw in nonetheless. Shaw kicked the door shut behind them and turned to look at Root folding her arms.

“A little disagreement” Root said and Shaw just frowned staring at the smear of blood on Root’s forehead.

“Little?” Shaw asked glancing Root over and seeing that her hand was firmly gripping the side of her arm, bloodied fingers.

“You were shot” Shaw said more of a statement then a question, prying Root’s fingers away from her arm gently.

“It’s a scrape” Root said and Shaw just looked at her.

“Then why are you here?” Shaw asked and Root just looked at her. “That’s what I thought.” Shaw said and glanced around her place.

“I’m not so great at stitching with my left hand” Root mumbled and Shaw just rolled her eyes and led Root into the bathroom. Shaw pulled the medical kit down from above the cabinet and started putting oa pair of gloves as Root perched on the lid of the toilet seat watching.

“So are you gonna tell me what really happened?” Shaw asked prying Root’s bloodied fingers away from where she was clutching her arm.

“About earlier?” Root asked her eyes on Shaw. Shaw looked up from the wound with a smirk appearing on her face.

“I was talking about this” Shaw said their eyes remaining locked for a brief second before Shaw looked back at the bullet wound.

“It’s not an interesting story” Root said. Shaw started wiping the wound clean, getting rid of the blood so she could properly see the damage. Root winced a little.

“Okay,” Shaw said “so then what about earlier?”

Root said nothing, Shaw glanced up at her and Root just stared back. Shaw wasn’t going to get an answer. She swiped another pad of antiseptic across Root’s wound and Root flinched at the cold stinging pain.

“Punishment for my silence?” Root muttered and Shaw grinned. Root tried not to be bothered by Shaw’s smile, it was a rarity that was for sure. And Root always forgot how truly fucking beautiful Shaw was when she smiled. It almost made the pain disappear completely.

“Hardly” Shaw said, feeling Root’s eyes watching her. _I’m glad you came by_ Shaw wanted to say but couldn’t seem to get the words to the tip of her tongue.

The silence that fell between them was almost intimate. Shaw could hear Root’s breath, practically feel her heart beating with every touch. Concentration knitted itself across her forehead as she focused on stitching up Root’s wound.

Root was trying not to wince at the pain, she knew Shaw was being as careful as she could be, but it still hurt.

“If you’re gonna pass out give me at least five seconds warning” Shaw had said before she had starting threading the needle through Root’s arm. A groan had immediately escaped Root’s lips as she felt the prick of the needle, followed by the threading pain. Her hand shot out to grip anything, grabbing the side of the toilet, Shaw glanced at her and stopped, looking at her hand.

“Grab my leg” Shaw said nudging Root’s leg with her own from where she was perched on the edge of the tub. Root opened her eyes to look at Shaw, glancing down at her leg and then nodding.

Shaw looked back at the wound, it wasn;t that major, she was lucky, if she had moved any slower it would have been a whole lot worse, the bullet might have actually been stuck in her arm.

Suddenly she felt Root’s hand sliding up her leg, and as she threaded the needle, in perfect unison felt Root’s fingers digging into her thigh. _Don’t let it distract you Sameen,_ she told herself, but that was easier said than done. Especially when that thigh grab was something she had felt before in a completely different context, the kind of context where Root’s tongue was between her legs.

“Breathe” Shaw reminded her. “I’m almost done.”

“You just started” Root growled through gritted teeth, her fingertips like knives jabbed into Shaw’s leg.

“Hey if you wanted proper treatment you should have gone to the hospital” Shaw pointed out and Root just looked at her with a small frown.

“My doctor doesn’t work at the hospital anymore,” Root said simply and Shaw just stared at her. _My doctor_ , Root meant Shaw. Shaw blinked. What was she supposed to say to that.

“Your doctor doesn’t have any pain relief aside from hard liquor” Shaw said and turned back to finishing the stitches. Root smirked in amusement then immediately hissed as Shaw jabbed at her arm again with the needle.

“Fuck that’s sore” she groaned and Shaw’s eyes glanced at her to make sure she was actually okay, and not about to pass out from the pain.

“I saw that” Root said her eyes squeezed tightly shut.

“Saw what?” Shaw asked innocently.

“I’m not _you_ , but I am stronger than you think” Root said.

“I _know_ that” Shaw said quietly, feeling bad for doubting her even though it had been out of pure concern due to circumstance.

Shaw cut the end of the stitches and tied it in a neat little knot, sitting back to admire her work. She could feels Root’s hand still holding her thigh, and she glanced down at it but didn’t say anything. Root followed Shaw’s eyes and then quickly pulled her hand away.

“Thanks” Root said and went to get up.

“Not so fast” Shaw said reaching out and accidentally grabbing Root’s by the hand instead of the wrist. Root stopped and stared at their hands. _Goddamn it_ Shaw thought and pulled Root back down to the toilet.

Root looked at her with those gentle brown eyes, waiting, watching. Expecting something grand to happen. Shaw reached for the dressing for the wound and smeared it over the stitches. Root tensed at the coldness against her skin, feeling Shaw’s fingers touch her, even though they were gloved. Shaw placed a bandage over the wound and then finally peeled her gloves off, tossing them into the sink and slowly looking back at Root.

“Are you sure you’re not hurt anywhere else?” Shaw asked and Root nodded getting back to her feet and wincing at a pain in her side. Shaw raised an eyebrow.

“Like your ribs maybe?” she added and Root glanced back at her.

“I’m fine” Root said “I just needed your stitching skills”

Shaw looked at Root for all of two seconds before getting to her feet and closing the gap between them, her hands reaching out for Root’s hips grabbing them lightly and then edging their way upwards, her shirt gathering on top of Shaw’s fingers as she pushed them higher up.

Root swallowed hard, feeling Shaw’s touch. Her cold fingers. Her breath so close. Shaw looked at Root’s side, inspecting it almost and stopped when she saw a bruised patch on the side of her ribs.

“Root” Shaw said in a breath and Root just looked at her. Fuck she loved having Shaw’s hands on her, she wanted Shaw to push her against the wall, press on her bruises, bite her neck. Keep those hands on her skin. _Don’t,_ Root warned herself. _Don’t fall for her. Don’t let yourself._

“Worried, Sameen?” Root asked almost seeming amused. Shaw just stared at her, while her fingers traced lightly over the bruising, she watched Root’s face try to conceal the pain of such a gentle touch.

“No but you should be” Shaw said.”I’m going to plastic wrap you to compress this, and then you’re sleeping here so you don’t get into anymore fights”

“I thought you said no sleepovers?” Root asked following Shaw into her kitchen, if you could even call it that. She had a fridge. That was basically it. Oh and a cupboard, in which she kept saran wrap. Probably for this exact reason, and maybe preserving leftovers.

“You said no sex _and_ sleepovers” Shaw said and Root rolled her eyes.

“So we can have sleepovers as long as we don’t have sex?” Root asked “that seems lame.”

“Not my rules” Shaw said winding the plastic around and round Root’s ribs, and Root just stared at her. What was she doing? Why was she acting like…she cared? Root clenched her jaw in confusion. _You_ can’t _love her, Root, you can’t._

“I should sleep at home” Root said suddenly and Shaw just frowned.

“Why?” Shaw asked running her hands over the plastic to make sure it was stuck, Root tried to ignore the fact Shaw was basically just running her hands over her body, like a careful and exacting caress.

“Because,” Root said and stared up at the ceiling. Shaw waited for a further explanation. “Because I don’t know what to say to you anymore.”

Shaw raised an eyebrow. That was unexpected.

“Am I meant to believe that?”

“Yes” Root said loudly “we’re not doing this whole friends with benefits thing right.”

“We’re not?” Shaw asked seeming genuinely perplexed. “Because we have sex and then I stitch up your battle wounds, that seems like plenty of benefits to me”

“No” Root protested “We’re not, and I just…” Root looked at Shaw, those dark eyes watching her, trying to figure her out, that hint of confusion and concern that sat just behind her cool exterior.

“I need you to stop looking at me like that.”

“Like what, Root?” Shaw asked “This is just my face.”

Root gave up. She let out a defeated sigh and just looked at Shaw. Shaw wondered if she was about to cry. She hoped not. She opened the freezer door and pulled out a packet of frozen peas, wrapping them in a towel and handing them to Root.

“Lay down on the bed and put this on your ribs” Shaw said softly and Root just did what she was told. Shaw wouldn’t get it, or maybe she would, and that’s the reason Root didn’t dare keep talking. Because what if Shaw did understand, what if she did realise what was happening between them, Root didn’t even know what would happen then.

She stared at Shaw’s ceiling biting the end of her tongue. She watched Shaw pull a blanket from the end of her bed and walk over to the couch.

“What are you doing?” Root asked.

“What does it look like?” Shaw replied. Root pretended that those words weren’t intentionally sharp.

“You don’t-” Root started but Shaw just looked over at her. “Don’t.” Root just said, unable to get the rest of the words out. Everything hurt, both from being shot in the arm, and potentially having a crushed rib, and from the absolutely soul crushing weight that in fact maybe she couldn’t control the fact she was falling for a sociopathic Persian assassin.

“Don’t what?” Shaw just asked and Root just put her hand out, reaching across the empty space on the bed, towards Shaw.

Shaw looked at Root’s hand. Her jaw clenched. She let out a sigh.

“Really?” she looked at Root. Root didn’t say a word. Shaw grabbed the blanket back off the couch and walked back over to her bed, throwing the blanket down and then flopping down in the space next to Root. Root hadn’t said a word, but somehow Shaw had known anyway. That terrified her.

Shaw lay on her back and stared at the peeling ceiling. Root lay on her side, the peas perched strategically on the side of her ribs. She stared at Shaw. Silence rolled out between them for an unknown amount of time.

“I can feel you thinking” Shaw said finally, without looking at Root. “Just spit it out.”

“Is this weird?” Root asked, again, caught out that Shaw could just _tell_ these things, without Root having to say or even do anything.

“Why would it be?” Shaw asked, her voice monotoned. It did that, Root noticed, when Shaw was tired mostly. When Root didn’t answer immediately Shaw tore her eyes away from the ceiling, finally and turned her head to look at Root.

Root was immediately caught off guard by Shaw’s eyes. It’s like she could see everything. It’s like she knew. But Root knew there was no way she could. She did such a good job at hiding it, or at least she thought she did. And by default Shaw wasn’t even meant to be able to recognise that kind of emotion, or at least, acknowledge it. _Shit_ Root thought suddenly, _what if she knows._

“It’s nobody’s business” Shaw just said when Root said nothing. She was looking right at Root, there was something so calm about her voice, the way she said it, her words so soft.

 _I can’t do this,_ Root thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm here! i still promise i havent forgotten or abandoned this! i'm just so slammed.  
> All i want to do is write this and B&S trust me, but I also gotta graduate :P
> 
> enjoy this chapter! lemme know what you think! thank you so much for your patience, you're all awesome! stick with me on this xxxx


	16. Chapter 16

When Root woke up the first thing she felt was pain, shooting through her body, her ribs ached, her arm felt stiff. A groan left her lips as she rolled onto her back and opened her eyes, light flooded the room. She stared at the peeled paint above her and realised she was at Shaw’s. She felt her heart beat quicken, Shaw wasn’t in bed, Root propped herself up on her good elbow and looked around, immediately seeing Shaw sitting on the kitchen counter with a mug of coffee reading the newspaper. Root was almost shocked at the sight. It looked so…normal. It was a sight that she could easily get used to, and for a brief moment she wondered what it would be like waking up to this everyday. She immediately shook the thought from her head, letting her elbow give out underneath her and she fell back onto the bed with a light thud. Shaw looked up from the paper.

“Oh you _are_ alive” Shaw said sarcastically and Root just smirked at the ceiling because she knew Shaw couldn’t see it.

“Surprise,” Root said “You disappointed?”

Shaw took another sip of her coffee and slid off the counter, folding the paper up and then walking over to Root with her mug, standing at the end of her bed and staring at Root.

“Opposite actually” Shaw said without showing any kind of emotion. “I was worried for a second I might actually miss you.”

Root’s heart skipped a beat. She tried not to smile but failed. She could feel Shaw’s eyes on her, as if she were waiting for a reaction. Root didn’t know how to react, she felt frozen, except for her heart which she could feel thumping crazily in her chest, blood running warm around her body.

“Well I don’t think a bullet scraping my arm is enough to get rid of me” Root said with a small smile and Shaw arched an eyebrow.

“Maybe,” she said “But your ribs are pretty fucked up.”

“They’re not that bad” Root protested and tried to sit up immediately wincing as a sharp pain shot up her side. Shaw just stared at her.

“Not that bad huh?” she said almost rolling her eyes and Root just glared at her. “I’ll rewrap you” Shaw said and gestured for Root to get out of the bed. Root moved slowly, finally getting to her feet and letting out an annoyed sigh. Shaw moved closer to her, balancing her mug on the bedpost, suddenly Root felt Shaw’s hands on her sides. Warm. Even through the cling wrap. Shaw’s fingers searched around Root’s waist trying to find where she had stuck the wrap down, Root kept acting like it didn’t phase her at all. But suddenly it wasn’t working. Shaw looked at her as her fingers found the edge of the wrap and started peeling it off.

“Your heart is racing” Shaw said matter of factly and Root just stared at her. Shaw unravelled the wrap from around Root’s waist and ribs, dropping it on the floor and then dragging her fingers lightly over the bruising to see if it had gotten any worse.

“I’m just…” Root couldn’t think of a logical reason.

Shaw quirked her eyebrow waiting for a response. Her hand stayed on Root’s side, they were standing close together, barely any space between them. It was almost torturous.

“It’s just you” Root admitted.

“Just?” Shaw echoed smirking a little, her hand lightly squeezing Root’s side.

“Shut up” Root said looking away trying not to smile.

“Put yourself on the pain scale” Shaw said changing the subject.

“Three” Root said and Shaw just rolled her eyes.

“So like five” Shaw said and Root just looked at her.

“You know what helps pain?” Shaw asked.

“Morphine?” Root said immediately and Shaw smiled a little.

“Sex.”

Root’s lips parted. They didn’t dare look away from each other. _What are you doing to me_? Root thought.

“Come closer” Root whispered, the words sticking to her lips as she said them. Shaw slid her other arm around Root’s waist too, closing the gap between them. Their bodies pressed together. She could still feel Root’s heart. She looked into those melting brown eyes. Root leaned in, closing the only gap left, and kissed her. Physically, they fit together perfectly there was no denying. Root loved the taste of Shaw’s lips, tinged with coffee, it was still perfect.

Then Shaw pulled back a little, looking at Root.

“What?” Root asked.

“Are you gonna get weird again?” Shaw asked and Root just arched an eyebrow.

“What kind of weird are we talking about?” she asked playfully. Shaw smirked a little.

“I was talking about…you pushing me away yesterday” Shaw said and Root’s face fell a little.

“Oh.”

“Yeah.” Shaw said, “and there it is.”

Root frowned a little and Shaw just watched her.

“No” Root said her fingers tangling in a strand of Shaw’s hair. Shaw just looked at her.

“Did you want to…talk,” Shaw said “about it?”

Root just looked at her for a moment, before a small smile stretched across her lips.

“I wouldn’t put you through that” Root said seeing the slight awkwardness in Shaw’s body language cause her to tense.

“Every time I ask you deflect” Shaw said.

“Maybe that’s for a reason” Root said her voice quiet, twisting her finger around a strand of Shaw’s hair. Their bodies were still close, still touching, their arms still around each other. It was a strange moment. Uncomfortable yet, totally comfortable at the same time. Shaw wasn’t pulling away, and Root certainly didn’t want her to.

“If you’re gonna pull my hand out of your pants every time I touch you-” Shaw started, her eyes searching Root’s face for a sign, anything.

“I won’t” Root interrupted.

Shaw just let out a small sigh. “You can tell me, I won’t…freak out”

“Of course you wouldn’t” Root said and Shaw let go of her, throwing herself back onto the bed and laying flat on her back.

“Then why won’t you tell me what’s wrong?” Shaw asked and Root just raised an eyebrow. Was Shaw pouting? Root bit down on her lip and climbed on top of Shaw, straddling her hips and looking down at her, trying not to wince at the sharp pain in her side.

“It’s not a problem you can fix” Root said.

“Are you sure?” Shaw asked, her hands appearing on Root’s thighs. Root felt her breath catch in her chest.

“Positive” Root said and looked at Shaw’s hands. It was everything about Sameen Shaw that made her heart race, the look on her face in moments like this - where she didn’t know how to react but she wanted to help, the way she would reach out and touch Root mindlessly, without thousands of thoughts, overthinking, even her fucking hands, the way she ran them up Root’s thighs, squeezing lightly as she did. Root didn’t know what to do with all of _this_. It’s like she was standing in so much light that she couldn’t see what she was doing, she couldn’t find her way out.

Her hand found Shaw’s and she traced Shaw’s fingers.

“So,” Shaw said she was staring at their hands too.

“So.” Root said, her eyes lifting and she looked at Shaw.

“What do you want?” Shaw asked simply. They looked at each other.

 _You._ Root thought. _You._ The word was on the tip of her tongue and she was scared it would just fall off if she didn’t catch it in time. _You._ She tried to swallow it.

“I wanna fuck you” Shaw said when Root was silent. Root felt her heart swell. _Goddamn it._

“That might be hard if I tie you up first” Root said and Shaw smirked.

“Maybe I should tie you up” Shaw suggested “So you don’t hurt yourself, more”

“I dare you” Root whispered her face close to Shaw’s. Shaw could practically smell the cherry chapstick on Root’s lips. She started to sit up, nose grazing against Root’s lips. She slipped her arms around Root and then pushed her back down onto the bed gently, well aware of her bruising, reversing their positions. She was on top of Root. She looked at Root’s shirt, there was a splatter of blood on the sleeve. She grabbed it in the middle and ripped it off her.

Root’s eyes widened, her breath quickening as suddenly she was looking down at her bare chest. Shaw just smirked, using a piece of the ripped fabric to catch both Root’s wrists and tie her to the head board of the bed.

“Mad?” Shaw asked noticing the contemplative look on Root’s face.

“Not yet” Root said.

“What about now?” Shaw asked sliding her hands down Root’s side near her hips and squeezing them lightly a couple of times, before Root had a chance to reply. Root squealed loudly, and jolted underneath Shaw.

“Don’t fucking tickle me” Root said balling up her tied up hands into fists. Shaw smirked in amusement.

“Okay” she said with a slight smile and Root glared at her.

“I don’t trust you” Root said and Shaw just rolled her eyes, she placed her hands on Root’s stomach and Root flinched in preparation.

“I’m gonna make you trust me” Shaw said looking straight into Root’s eyes. It was at about that moment when Root suddenly felt her heart. Shaw had done that on purpose. Or even if she hadn’t, it was a damn good trick, making Root trust her.

Root looked at Shaw’s hands that were still sitting on Root’s stomach, warm, unmoving. She wasn’t going to do it again. Tickle her…or the other thing.

“Do you trust me yet?” Shaw asked, slipping her hands down to Root’s sides again, she felt Root’s body tense underneath her, but she did nothing, and after a couple of brief seconds she moved her hands off her altogether.

“You haven’t left me much choice” Root said and Shaw looked at her for a few moments before reaching up and pulling the fabric loose that was bounding Root’s hands.

Root watched her closely, trying her hardest to keep her lips to herself as Shaw’s chest practically grazed over her face as she reached to untie Root’s hands.

Root moved her wrists in a circular motion, her eyes locked on Shaw.

“You can stop me if you want to” Shaw said with a slight smirk and ran her hands up and down Root’s sides, grazing with barely the tips of her fingers over the bruise on her ribs.

Root watched Shaw’s hands and then suddenly reached out to grab both her wrists. Shaw looked up almost startled.

“I believe you” Root said. “But you have to pinky swear you won’t do it again?”

“Pinky swear?” Shaw asked and shook her head. “No, that’s bullshit.”

“You don’t mean it if you don’t pinky swear” Root said and Shaw rolled her eyes.

“I think my word holds better than a pinky swear” Shaw said.

“Well I don’t think you were raised right then” Root said and Shaw stared at her.

“Says the orphan” Shaw said and Root almost looked hurt, before she stuck her pinky out in front of Shaw’s face.

“Promise you won’t do it again. Ever” Root insisted and Shaw leaned forward, staring at Root’s pinky, then suddenly snapped her teeth and bit down on it lightly.

Root yanked her hand back fast and frowned.

“Sameen” she said and examined her little finger. “No wonder you have no friends.”

“You’re a brat” Shaw frowned. “Just because I won’t link fingers with you doesn’t mean I’m not gonna keep my word”

“You can’t break a pinky promise though Sam, that’s the whole point” Root said.

“Yes you can look at this” Shaw said and linked her pinky with Root’s. “I pinky swear I won’t purposefully flick the end of your nose, even though it’s super pointy and kinda cute and flickable” Shaw said then pulled her hand away. Root still looked confused and missed her opportunity to turn her head away as Shaw immediately used the same hand she pinky swore with to flick the end of Root’s nose with her thumb and index finger.

“Ouch!” Root gasped and reached for her nose with one hand and Shaw’s hand with the other. Root scowled at Shaw like a pissed off toddler and Shaw smirked.

“See.” Shaw said with a satisfied smirk. Root rubbed her nose and rolled her eyes.

“You’re being an asshole.” Root said and Shaw raised an eyebrow.

“No, I just want you to believe me when I say I won’t do something, instead of making me make stupid pinky promises” Shaw said and Root looked at her. They weren’t talking about tickling. That much was obvious.

“Fine” Root said with a sigh. “I thought I was getting an orgasm not a lecture.”

Shaw smirked. “Who says you can’t have both?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oh my god. happy new year everyone <3 i hope everyone is well!   
> what a goddamn ride it's been. if any of you are still here (which I know a few of you are) i'm astounded and very glad!  
> this fic was never too far from my mind, but as life always tends to do it got in the way.  
> on the plus side...i now have a degree ;)
> 
> anyway,  
> i'll shut up and let you say whatever you want down below!!! of course let me know what you think of the chapter...  
> i'm very grateful for all of you who have supported me with all three of these stories. i promise you i am intending to finish them both, so i hope you can bare with as i do!!!!  
> you guys are truly amazing xxx


	17. Chapter 17

Root drummed her black nails on the desk as she frowned at her computer. It had been a couple of days since she’d seen Shaw, the last time being when she showed up wounded and ended up staying the night. It wasn’t unusual for them to go without seeing each other for a few days, but that was before… this. And now Root couldn’t tell whether it was because of that very reason they hadn’t seen each other, or whether it was like all those times in the past where it didn’t mean a thing.

Root was trying to break through a particularly difficult firewall for no other reason than she was bored, and Finch took one look at her ribs and decided she wasn’t allowed out for a few days. It had been a few days and Root was going crazy, The Machine had no hard pressed issues for her to handle so here she found herself, sitting at Finch’s desk and growling at her laptop.

Her concentration had been flickering all afternoon, but somehow had stuck in the past five minutes so she didn’t hear the sound of the door, or the footsteps coming towards, she didn’t even hear Shaw’s familiar sigh, until suddenly Shaw leaned against the desk and with one finger shut Root’s laptop screen.

Root’s attention suddenly snapped towards Shaw. Glasses perched on the end of Root’s nose. Shaw raised an eyebrow.

“I hope that wasn’t important” Shaw said and Root just stared at her.

“Mildly.”

“Good” Shaw said a smirk appearing on her face. “Let’s go.”

“What?” Root asked and tried to study Shaw’s face. “Where?”

“Anywhere” Shaw said “You’ve been in here for too long, and no one wants you to get any crazier than you already are.”

“Oh Sam, that’s so sweet” Root teased and Shaw just rolled her eyes.

“Don’t make me regret this.”

Root pushed her glasses on top of her head and caught Shaw looking at her, but before she could react Shaw looked away.

“You know, I think you owe me a date” Root said and Shaw’s head whipped around to look at Root again.

“What the hell?’ Shaw practically fell over her words. “I do not.”

“Remember that time you wanted to do something and then we ended up shooting people and having sex?” Root said and Shaw rolled her eyes.

“In no way did that mean I wanted to go on a date with you” Shaw said and Root just arched an eyebrow. Shaw looked at her with a frown. Yeah she was cute, but no way was she taking her on a date.

“But you do now, right?” Root watched Shaw get more frustrated.

“No” Shaw said and shook her head “Didn’t I just say don’t make me regret this?”

“Mustn’t have heard that” Root smirked and Shaw glared at her.

“If you’re going to be difficult I know where the door is,” Shaw said and Root raised her hands in surrender.

Shaw sighed and looked at her.

“Do you have any ideas?” Shaw asked.

“For a date?” Root smirked jumping at her opportunity, but Shaw just groaned and immediately lurched for the door.

“Sameen” Root laughed leaping to her feet quickly and getting in between Shaw and the door. “I’m kidding.”

“Are you?” Shaw asked, their faces were close. Root was suddenly unsure if she could keep up her facade. It had already surprised her how easily it was for her to banter like this with Shaw, given the fact that she pretended she was joking… but was she actually.

“We have rules” Root said quickly and glanced away from the dark eyes watching her.

“Not the question.” Shaw said.

Root’s brain suddenly went blank, usually she would have a million lines firing through her mind, but not this time, as she looked back at Shaw she opened her mouth and nothing came out. _Think Root. Faster._ She mentally screamed at herself, before Shaw could even catch a hint of what was going on.

“Who wouldn’t wanna go on a date with you? You’re charming.” Root said and quickly brushed past Shaw to get her jacket. Leaving Shaw standing there in a vague sense of confusion as to whether Root was being serious or not. When Root returned Shaw hadn’t moved, she simply looked at Root with a perplexed frown.

“Are we going?” Root asked, as relief washed over her. Shaw nodded but didn’t take her eyes off Root.

Shaw didn’t know what to think of Root’s mood today, it was almost as if she had reverted back to the way they used to be with each other. Root would flirt and Shaw would roll her eyes. But Shaw wasn’t rolling her eyes, and she didn’t know why. She also didn’t know why it felt like there was a knot in her stomach every time she looked at Root and Root would look away.

As they walked out into the fresh air she heard Root take a deep breath, their shoulders bumped into one another as they walked. Shaw still felt bothered though.

“Are you okay?” she finally blurted out and Root turned to her immediately.

“Why would I not be?” Root asked and Shaw just frowned. “Are _you_ okay?” Root asked her with an eyebrow lifted and Shaw just rolled her eyes.

“Irrelevant.”

“Is it?” Root asked and Shaw looked away. Root looked at the space between them, biting the inside of her lip, thinking that if she inflicted pain on herself it would stop her being so stupid. But all she could do was look at Shaw’s hand and reach for it. The moment her fingers grazed against Shaw’s palm Shaw looked back at her. Neither of them said anything. Their fingers entwined.

“Root,” Shaw said looking at their hands,

“Can we just not think about it?” Root said. It was a vague statement and Root didn’t need to know exactly what it was that was in Shaw’s head, but that simple sentence and Shaw felt herself nodding. And then Root’s hand slipped from hers.

“Hungry?” Root asked.

“Sure” Shaw said. They glanced at each other, Root tried not to smile. She loved how close Shaw walked to her, like proximity and person space had lost all meaning to her. Root knew it probably wasn’t an intentional choice, but the fact that somewhere inside Sameen Shaw it was telling her not to be upset that they were so close together.

“Do you ever just wish we were normal?” Root asked as she watched a parent chasing after some kids ahead of them.

“No” Shaw said “it seems tedious.”

“But don’t you think it would be nice, to have…” Root’s voice trailed off as she continued to watch the kids run towards their mother. Shaw followed Root’s eyes.

“I’m sure normality has it’s perks” Shaw said “But that means you can’t shoot people, or hack into things, so I’m not sure what you’d find your pleasure in.”

Root glanced at her with a small smirk. “I’m sure I’d find something.”

Shaw rolled her eyes with a partial smile.

“You suit being an annoying psycho too much to be like them,” Shaw said and Root bit the corner of her lip. In Shaw speak, that was a compliment.

“This way” Root said and almost went to reach for Shaw’s hand again as she turned down a side road. And the strange thing was, she swore she could have seen Shaw’s hand twitch out for hers in that moment too.

“Where are you taking me?” Shaw asked “if you are trying to turn this into a date…” she warned and Root just grinned .

“Relax Shaw, it’s just noodles” Root said.

And maybe it was just noodles, but it was also noodles in a small space, in a booth away from the other people that were in there. It was noodles and facing each other so they had no other option but to look at one another and not be able to hide anything.

But it wasn’t a date. Nope. It wasn’t allowed to be. Because that wasn’t part of the deal.

“How do you even find these places?” Shaw asked.

“I don’t always sleep well” Root shrugged.

“So you wander around the city?” Shaw almost laughed. “Doesn’t ruining peoples lives all day not exhaust you?”

“I have pretty good stamina” Root smirked and Shaw just glanced at her. “Here, you have to try this” Root said sticking her chopsticks in front of Shaw’s face.

“I hate tofu” Shaw said and Root rolled her eyes.

“You won’t hate this, trust me” Root said and Shaw tore her eyes off Root and stole the piece of tofu from the chopsticks. She wanted to hate it, she did. She wanted to hate the fact she just ate from Root’s chopsticks. But she didn’t.

“Okay, I can’t even pretend to lie, that was pretty good” Shaw said and Root looked satisfied.

“See I told you” Root said “You gotta trust me.”

Shaw looked at her. Those light brown eyes, the smile that tugged on the corners of her mouth.

“What?” Root asked catching Shaw looking at her, again.

“Nothing” Shaw said.

“Should I start keeping a tally of these lingering looks and so you can tell me about this _nothing_ later?” Root asked and Shaw blew air out of her mouth.

“I don’t know, Root” Shaw said “It’s really nothing, you’re just…unexpected” Shaw said with a shrug.

Root was a little taken back by Shaw’s honesty.

“So are you” Root said and Shaw twirled a chopstick in her fingers.

“You know I can probably think of at least eight different ways to kill you with this” Shaw said looking at the chopstick in her hand.

“Romantic” Root smirked. 

“You said this wasn’t a date” Shaw protested.

“I didn’t say that” Root smirked. “But it’s not, we have a food exception in our rules.”

“Right” Shaw said and Root thought she could hear a hint of disappointment. “The rules.”

“Can I say something, without you getting defensive?” Root asked and Shaw glared at her.

“You seem a little up and down” Root said and Shaw just stared at her.

“I’m not” she said through gritted teeth.

“Sam” Root said. “As a human who feels feelings I think that qualifies me to be of some kind of help.”

“Root, if you say one more thing I’m gonna have kill you with chopsticks” Shaw said.

“And now you’re being defensive” Root said as if it were a predictable situation.

“Stop it” Shaw said and Root looked amused.

“Fine.” Root said, and Shaw was momentarily shocked that Root had stopped so easily. “I just feel like we’ve both been a little weird lately.”

“What does that mean?” Shaw asked staring across the table at Root. Root could feel those dark eyes on her, waiting, listening. The way Shaw always did, Shaw always gave her the time of day when she knew it was important.

“You stitched me up,” Root said “and then I slept over, and then we had sex,” Root paused. “And then I didn’t see you for days, and now it seems like we don’t know what to do with each other.”

“You said we didn’t have to think about it” Shaw pointed out and looked at her noodles, poking them with a chopstick.

“Well I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking about it” Root said, now it was her turn to stare at Shaw, while Shaw looked away.

“You’re gonna overthink yourself into a grave” Shaw said and Root nearly smiled.

“Sam” she said quietly. “What are we doing?”

Shaw didn’t reply for a moment. Root could see she was thinking about what to say. It didn’t make Root nervous, even as she watched Shaw’s eyes run around the rim of the bowl, the way her arm muscles flexed as a little as she shifted position, and then the way her dark eyelashes lifted so she was looking at Root.

“Each other?” Shaw said simply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Your eyes are not deceiving you. It is in fact me.  
> If any of you have been patient enough to wait around for this I am eternally grateful, I think I was just suffering rom a little thing called writers block, even writing this I felt a little rusty.  
> But many emotional fan vids later, I got through it. And I'm sorry this took forever. Really my main goal is to finish both of them! And when I say I'm going to I actually mean it.
> 
> Always grateful for your support! Let me know what you think (I've missed you x)


	18. Chapter 18

_Each other_. The words rang through Root’s head all of that night. They circled her mind even when Shaw came back to hers after noodles. They circled her mind as Shaw was leaving instead of staying over. They stayed in her head for days after that too. All she wanted was Shaw, and she had that. So why didn’t it feel like enough?

She knew why. She might have even admitted it to herself once as she sat in the dark of her apartment one night. But she couldn’t say it out loud, she could barely even think it. This wasn’t meant to happen. So what, maybe they were perfect for each other, that didn’t mean anything. It couldn’t. Shaw was technically a sociopath. _You can’t have a relationship with a sociopath_ , Root. But that doesn’t mean you can’t fall in love with them anyway.

She had been mad at Shaw for sleeping with Tomas, and when that finally came right Root felt like all she was doing was keeping Shaw at arms length. And while Root was still trying to play it cool, Shaw had convinced herself that maybe their little agreement was going to work after all.

“Root, you there?” Shaw’s voice was in Root’s ear.

“Always” Root answered immediately and almost heard Shaw cringe.

“I need you to do something for me” Shaw said.

“Of course Sameen, what do y-“

“I need you to hack into the IRS” Shaw said cutting Root off and Root just smiled.

“Gosh Sam, you could have at least given me a challenge” Root bit her lip, glad that Shaw couldn’t see her face.

“If I thought it was going to be challenging I wouldn’t have asked you” Shaw pointed out.

“Why’s that?” Root asked already halfway into the system.

“You have about 5 minutes” Shaw said and Root raised an eyebrow.

“Well if you tell me what I’m looking for, you’ll have it in 3” Root said and could almost see the smirk on Shaw’s face.

“What are you doing later?” Shaw asked suddenly and Root’s fingers froze above the keys for a second as those words processed through her brain.

“I don’t know, any ideas?” Root said trying to keep her focus.

“You could come over.” Shaw said. There was no further explanation needed, they both knew what for. Root stayed silent for a moment.

“Root?” Shaw asked.

“No.” Root replied. “But you can come to mine.”

She heard Shaw exhale.

“Fine.”

Root rattled off the information that Shaw needed and wondered if they were going to have an ounce of a normal conversation too, but she wasn’t so lucky. Shaw’s voice disappeared from her ear and she was left to herself again. _Kiss kiss to you too,_ she thought as she listened to the blaring sound of silence in her ear.

She picked at one of her nails, deep in thought. She couldn’t keep doing this to herself. If she didn’t start emotionally distancing herself from Shaw she would end up too far down a path she wouldn’t be able to come back from. Root thought about the first time they slept together, she had felt exhilarated and happy.Her flirting with Shaw was a playful game, that was intended for the sole purpose of getting a rise out of the sociopath. She was able to keep her emotions in check, yeah, she had liked Shaw for as long as she could remember, but that never used to effect all of her interactions.

That’s what she needed to get back to, Root decided. If that was even possible.

Root sighed. It had been a long day. She wasn’t even sure that letting Shaw come over tonight was still a good idea. She patted down her pockets for her keys to her apartment as she walked down the hallway.

It’s not that she needed to get over Shaw, it’s just that she needed to _get over Shaw_. For her own sake. And usually that required distance, not sleeping together.

Root slammed her key into the door and pushed it open, running a hand through her hair in frustration at herself. She had barely taken two steps inside when she looked up and saw Shaw stretched out on her couch. Her mouth fell open and she came to a halt at the sight. Shaw had her feet kicked up on the coffee table, Root’s coffee mug in her hand, and she was wearing… one of Root’s tops?

“Are you going to make a habit of breaking in to my place?” Root asked and Shaw glanced over at her looking fairly satisfied with herself.

“Maybe” Shaw answered with an amused smirk and Root just rolled her eyes.

“Some people would consider that rude” Root shrugged and kicked the door shut. “Is that my shirt?”

“Good thing you’re not some people” Shaw said and then glanced down at her chest. “Yeah this is yours, I got blood on mine.”

Root walked into the kitchen and frowned when she saw Shaw’s blood stained shirt tossed into the sink.

“Make yourself at home, why don’t you” Root said sarcastically.

“You’d like that wouldn’t you?’ Shaw said appearing behind her making her jump. Root turned around and stared at her.

“What are you doing here?” Root asked and snatched her mug from Shaw glancing at the substance inside it. She’d made herself coffee too.

“You invited me over remember?” Shaw said.

“So you broke in?”

“I called it a day when I got hit by a bullet.” Shaw shrugged and Root glanced at Shaw quickly trying to figure out where she got hit.

“It’s not bad, don’t worry” Shaw said catching Root’s eyes giving her the once over. Root stared at her for a moment trying to figure her out.

“I wasn’t worried” Root muttered and Shaw just rolled her eyes, knowing that wasn’t true but deciding not to comment.

“So did you run out of shirts at your place, and coffee?” Root asked and Shaw scoffed.

“You’ve seen where I live.” Shaw said. That was the entire answer. Root brushed past Shaw and collapsed back onto the couch, leaning her head back and staring up at the ceiling. She heard Shaw come in after her, but what she didn’t count on was Shaw climbing on top of Root and straddling her lap.

Root lifted her head, Shaw was very much on top of her. And very close to her face.

“Long day?” Shaw asked and Root just nodded. Shaw lifted up Root’s hand and for a hot second Root’s heart started racing at the idea that Shaw was going to kiss it. She immediately relaxed as she watched Shaw simply pulling the hair band off her wrist instead. Root didn’t say anything, she let Shaw brush the hair from her face and gather it up, before tying it up loosely so it was out of her face. It wasn’t so much a romantic gesture as it was routine, they had come to a conclusion that her hair kept getting places that it shouldn’t be. And she would have to start tying it up so they wouldn’t have to eat it. And in this instance it was probably just a sign of Shaw hinting that she was ready to go. But she never tied Root’s hair for her, she usually just demanded that Root get it up now or she would walk.

“I can’t tell if you’re just that horny, or if you’re trying to be cute” Root admitted and Shaw just stared at her.

“Why would I be trying to be cute?” she asked and Root raised an eyebrow.

“Sameen, you broke into my house, you’re wearing my clothes, drinking from my mug… you may as well greet me with a kiss and we’d be doing better than most couples.”

Shaw just looked at her. Root couldn’t tell what she was thinking, or whether she had way overstepped or not. Not that anything she said wasn’t true.

Their eyes were locked, but Root could see Shaw thinking. Then suddenly Shaw moved forward and kissed her. On the mouth. Properly. Softly. And then bit down firmly on Root’s lower lip before pulling away.

“Like that?” Shaw asked and Root’s hand went up to touch her lip, glancing at her finger to see if Shaw had drawn blood. Shaw just smirked.

“You’re not bleeding, Root” Shaw said. It was the way Shaw was looking at her that threw Root off. Her eyes seemed warmer than usual today. There was no judgement, there wasn’t anything. Shaw was just looking at her, like she was an actual person, an actual person who maybe she was feeling something for. _Stop it._ Root told herself. _You can’t do this._

“What is it?” Shaw’s voice cut through her thoughts and Root looked at Shaw. “You seem far away.” Shaw said and Root silently wished Shaw would stop picking things up. She wished Shaw would stop noticing, and more than that, getting it right.

Root didn’t know what to say. _Yeah Sam, actually I can’t concentrate because I’m trying not to fall in love with you._ That would go down well.

Root leaned her head back, banging it on the back of the sofa and staring up at the ceiling. She could feel Shaw’s weight on her, and couldn’t believe she was doing this. She stared at the blank ceiling. Her hands weren’t even on Shaw, they were rested on both sides of her.

Before she could have another single thought, she felt Shaw shift on her, and seconds later there were lips on her neck. She opened her mouth to protest but Shaw’s teeth pinched her skin in a light bite. Root let her eyes shut, and kept her head back on the sofa. Shaw’s lips, soft, dragging up her neck, sucking, biting. Root knew Shaw was just trying to wind her up. It was usually always Root that led, and if something was up, Shaw knew how to get her going.

“Sam,” Root managed, but Shaw’s hands just captured Root’s wrists, restraining them down by her sides.

“Shut up” Shaw mumbled against Root’s neck. Root smiled slightly at Shaw’s stubbornness.

“You better leave a scar” Root ended up saying, despite every voice in her head telling her this was a bad idea.

Shaw lifted her head and glanced at Root.

“I’ve already left a scar” Shaw said and Root arched an eyebrow. “it’s right here” Shaw said slipping her hand under Root’s shirt, sliding her hand up her stomach, over her chest and stopping, right on Root’s left shoulder blade, where she could feel the bullet mark.

Root glanced at where Shaw’s hand was under her shirt and couldn’t help but smile.

“Right,” Root said “how could I forget, you shot me.”

“I mean you’re kind of irritating” Shaw said, her voice was low, and there was something in her eyes that seemed to look happy, or at least as close to happy as Sameen Shaw could get.

“I think you’re horny” Root said and Shaw just watched her.

“What are you gonna do about it?” Shaw asked.

 _Just kiss her!_ a single voice in Root’s head screamed over and over again, louder than all the other thousands of voices that were telling it her was a mistake.

“I…um” Root stared at Shaw for a second too long and everything slipped from her mind.

“Root,” Shaw frowned “Seriously, what is going on with you?”

Root clenched her jaw, trying to hold herself together.

“Lesbian bed death?” Root tried with the smallest hint of humour and Shaw just rolled her eyes.

“Bullshit” Shaw said “You’re pupils are massive right now, and I guarantee your underwear will confirm it.”

“It’s been a long day Sameen,” Root said “and i’m tired, and don’t really feel like whipping you.”

“Well that’s a damn shame” Shaw said leaning close enough for Root to smell the coffee and mint on her breath. “Because I was _so_ ready to be submissive.”

Shaw was staring right at her. A wicked look in her dark eyes. Root couldn’t look away.

“I find that hard to believe” Root said quietly in the small space between their faces. “Coming from the girl sitting on top of me.”

Shaw smirked. “I’m just trying to start your engine”

Root rolled her eyes. “What kind of line is that, Sameen?”

“That’s the kind of shit I put up with from you, everyday” Shaw said and Root looked mildly amused.

“You like it” Root said.

“Not really” Shaw said.

“You do, or you wouldn’t be here.”

“I’m here because you’re kinky and mean, and for some reason that’s hot.” Shaw said and Root smiled. Shaw was still sitting on her, their bodies still incredibly close. Their noses almost touching.

“You have a good smile too,” Shaw added “which I guess is an added bonus.”

“Compliments and neck biting,” Root look amused “you must really want it.”

Shaw rolled her eyes. “Don’t be a dick about it.”

Root studied Shaw’s face closely, she lifted her hand to trace Shaw’s jawline, reaching Shaw’s chin and then dragging her finger up over Shaw’s lips.

“I can tell by the look in your eyes it’s not gonna happen” Shaw said turning her cheek into the palm of Root’s hand and pressing her lips against it.

“How can you tell that,” Root asked cutely “if you’re a _sociopath._ ” She meant it as a joke and Shaw knew it too, Shaw smirked a little.

“Sociopath doesn’t mean robot” Shaw said “no offence to Her.”

“The Machine isn’t a robot, Sam” Root pointed out “She feels things.”

“She sounds like my other half,” Shaw said with a smirk. “Maybe we’re _soul mates_ ” the word sounded foreign coming off Shaw’s tongue and it was dripping with sarcasm, but nonetheless Root looked at her, with those brown dreamy eyes.

“Well you might have to marry me then,” Root said “if you ever want to talk to her.”

Shaw smirked and looked to the side. “Sure Root, because that would go _so_ well.” The sarcasm was more than apparent. Root bit the inside of her cheek.

“Okay, so” Shaw said and looked back at Root after a moment. “We could order a pizza and watch porn?” Root looked at her shocked for a moment. She was serious. She was going to stay, despite the fact Root wasn’t being her usual self that Shaw was used to when she came around.

“And if worse comes to worse, I can just go find Tomas” Shaw said and Root’s eyes widened.

“ _Sameen_!” Root snapped loudly, pinching Shaw’s arm. “You’ve really lost any chance now.”

Shaw laughed. A proper laugh. Root almost tripped and fell straight in love. God she was beautiful.

“I’m kidding.” Shaw said. “You know that.” Shaw looked back at Root, amusement still playing across her lips, and eyes. But Shaw could still see that flare of anger settling on Root’s face.

“That was a low blow,” Shaw said and held her hands up in surrender “I take it back.”

“Do you?” Root asked and Shaw moved her face closer.

“You know it” she said and lightly bit Root’s shoulder. “Now the only question is, how many toppings can you handle?”

“Your pick up lines are getting worse” Root said with a smirk and Shaw winked as she reached for her phone. Yes winked.

Root was almost proud of herself, for managing to abstain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello cuties, again your eyes do not deceive you. Even I'm impressed.
> 
> I actually really enjoyed writing this chapter, I've missed these two idiots a lot. Ugh. I hope you're all super fantastic, and I'm gonna try my actual hardest to update faster (I'm actually leaving the country in like a week for a lot of adventures so I want to leave you with new things) as I said on my last B&S chapter I am actually in the process of doing something a little different in terms of writing... I don't know how much most of you actually know about me, but I feel like I can overshare with you anyway. And it's because of you wonderful people that I actually have the confidence I do to branch out in my writing... so if you cared to follow me through a different journey that would be pretty cool too. 
> 
> [ if you want to stalk here's my IG: avocado_thief ]
> 
> Anyway, for now I'll leave you with this chapter. Let me know your thoughts, and feels. And I will be back soon. Pinky promise ;)   
> xx


	19. Chapter 19

_Fuck._ The only thought in Root’s brain as she opened her eyes and realised she was in Shaw’s bed. _Fuck._ Her brain had that one word stuck on repeat, as she stared up at the peeling paint on the ceiling. The dared to glance down at herself with the tiniest hope that maybe she was fully clothed and or shot. The sheet was tangled around her legs, and thrown loosely across her torso. Underneath, nothing but bare skin. _Fuck._

Every time she tried to keep Shaw at distance, this would happen. The only time she managed to catch a break was when The Machine had her tied up (literally), and so she didn’t get to see Shaw. But that was one evening out of six. This was becoming too much of a habit for Root’s liking. Even though she liked it. _Fuck._ What was she doing. Had she achieved sex without strings attached? Was this close enough?

“You slept over.” Shaw’s voice cut through her thoughts. Root couldn’t bare to move her eyes of the ceiling, she wasn’t humiliated as much as she was feeling a little sore and awkward that she even let this happen in the first place.

“Breakfast in bed would be pushing it, right?” she asked and glanced at Shaw who had just walked out of the bathroom. She was in a sports bra and briefs, nothing else. Root managed to look at her for an entire five seconds without thinking about what it would be like to spend the rest of her life like this with Shaw.

“Depends what you want,” Shaw said climbing across the bed so her face was in front of Root’s. Root rolled her eyes at the smirk on Shaw’s face.

“I should go” Root said, ignoring every instinct she had to throw Shaw onto her back.

“Are you sure?” Shaw asked. “Because despite what you assumed, I’m already good to go again.”

“As much as I’m impressed Sam, I’m gonna give those bruises a little time to settle” Root said, ignoring Shaw’s hands on her body.

“If you say so” Shaw said her hand snaking under the sheet, the warmth of her hand against Root’s inner thigh. Root’s toes curled. It took her a second to muster the strength to grab Shaw’s hand and push it away.

“I’m going.” Root said and Shaw gave up, moving off her and then getting off the bed. Root followed her, glancing around for her clothes and quickly trying to put herself back together, with the occasional glance at Shaw who wasn’t making any attempt to get dressed.

Everything inside Root was racing, there was something she hated so much about being submissive around Shaw, it drove her wild even if she was doing her best to keep her at arms length. She watched Shaw closely, Root pulled her top on. Shaw stepped towards the door and pulled it open for Root.

“You don’t have to go” Shaw said “I know we said no sleepovers, but it’s amusing to know you exhaust yourself too”

Root just stared at her. It was true. They had gone hard last night, and Root had fallen asleep at the same time as Shaw. It wasn’t a cute goodnight, there were no words exchanged, there was a final orgasm and then they both fell asleep to the sound of each others panting.

“Yeah, well…” Root started and Shaw quirked an eyebrow as if she already knew there was no good excuse. Root rolled her eyes kicking the door from Shaw’s hand so it banged shut, and then pushing her up against it with her body weight and kissing her hard.

Shaw didn’t protest. Of course she didn’t. But Root thought she felt Shaw smile against her lips. Root’s hands found Shaw’s waist, digging her nails into her skin. Shaw groaned.

“I knew you didn’t want to go” Shaw mumbled into Root’s mouth. Root answered by pushing her knee hard into Shaw’s crotch.

“Shut the fuck up” she said. Their physical attraction to each other was obvious, but was what surprising was how they never found it in them to say anything about it. There was a reason they could have sex so many times non stop with each other and not have enough.

“I’m gonna fuck you against this door” Root said, their foreheads together. Shaw’s breathing had already gone ragged. “And I don’t want you to move a fucking muscle.” Root ordered.

“That’s impossible” Shaw said but was immediately punished by Root twisting her nipple between two fingers.

“Nothing’s impossible” Root said and Shaw’s eyes flicked up to look at her.

“What happens if I move?”

“I dare you to find out” Root smirked, their faces were so close Shaw could barely resist it. She lunged forward her lips crashing against Root’s. Root kissed her for a brief second before slamming her back against the door.

“I said don’t move, Sameen” Root said “think, Saltire cross.”

Shaw just shook her head and Root grinned devilishly.

“I’m gonna get a muscle spasm” Shaw mumbled and leaned her head back.

Root fucked her, hard. Shaw was shaking after five minutes. But Root had her pinned, tightly against the door. Root glanced at her, everything was tensed.

“How are you doing Sam?” Root teased “you look like you’re going to tap out.”

“Stop.” Shaw growled though gritted teeth, banging her head back on the door. Root smirked. Stop wasn’t their safe word. And that’s _not_ what Shaw meant.

“I would make this a game” Root said, “but I have a feeling it would be kinda short.” she said and at that exact moment, curled her fingers inside Shaw making her hips buck forward unwillingly against Root’s hand.

“Fuck” Shaw moaned slumping back against the wall. Root pulled her fingers out and licked them.

“That was fast” she smirked and Shaw just opened her eyes and glared at her.

“What did you expect?” Shaw asked. “I’m shaking.”

She wasn’t wrong, her muscles were trembling, and her hands had the shakes.

“I might have to put that as your faster orgasm” Root said and Shaw rolled her eyes. She was still leaning against the door, trying to catch her breath.

“Second.” Shaw said and Root raised an eyebrow. “You dripped candle wax on me for half an hour and by the time you actually touched me I pretty much came.”

Root smirked. “It’s cute you remember.” Shaw sighed and Root reached forward pushing a piece of Shaw’s hair behind her ear. “Now get off the door because I need to go.”

“Right” Shaw said pulling herself off the door and stepping towards Root. “You keep saying.”

“I would stay all day, but I think you’re a little worn out” Root said and went to reach for Shaw again, but Shaw batted her hand away.

“You’re full of shit” Shaw said.

Shaw knew that there was something going on under the surface here, but she didn’t think that bringing it up was any of her business. If Root wanted to talk to her about something, then she would. Shaw wasn’t the type for prying, especially when it came to emotions. If she couldn’t help, what was the point. But she couldn’t seem to kick the fear that what was going on with Root was exactly what she didn’t want to happen. Because that was something she both couldn’t fix, and didn’t want to deal with. Ever.

But Shaw had grown somewhat used to having Root’s company, or at least the sex. She was holding up her end of their little deal, and it was working for her. But every time Root left, it caught up with her almost immediately. The plain and simple fact that this Root, the one who slept with Shaw was a lot different then the other Root who she worked with. The Root that accidentally fell asleep in her bed was a lot more delicate, than the Root who could psychopathically kill a room full of armed men, and walk out with a smile.

The most shocking part of that for Shaw was how much she didn’t care, because Root was Root and she could handle it because she wanted to.

Maybe this wasn’t even about her Shaw tried to think, but what if it was and she was ignoring it?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Root's doing that neat little trick of pretending ur fine when ur actually dying inside. And it's not healthy. News update.
> 
> Thoughts? Feels? Qualms? Queries? 
> 
> xxxxx


	20. Chapter 20

“Ms Groves” Finch’s voice greeted Root before she had even pulled her jacket off after walking into Finch’s. “There you are.”

“Didn’t know I was late, Harry” Root said greeting an overly eager Bear who jumped up and tried to lick her hands.

“Bear is getting a little…” Finch looked from Root to the dog and back “boisterous, and I fear we’re going to have to move your little collection somewhere else, higher perhaps.”

Root followed his eyes towards where her guns, knives, and grenades were currently piled into a cardboard box and smirked.

“Sure Harry, where did you have in mind?” she asked and Finch almost looked shocked she’d agreed to it so fast.

“Take your pick Ms Groves, but please make sure it’s Bear proofed.” Finch said and turned back to his computer.

“Have you seen Sameen?” Root asked reaching under the desk for the toolkit and throwing it open loudly. Bear stood next to Root intrigued, watching her intently, his tail wagging.

“I have” Shaw said coming through the door, immediately seeing Root and Bear crouched beside each other. _Ugh,_ she thought. _Why does_ that _have to be so cute._

Root spun around and smiled.

“You have such good timing” Root said and Shaw rolled her eyes.

“What do you want?” Shaw asked. Finch glanced over at the two of them, a frown twitching on his forehead. There was something different about their interactions. A lack of harshness, especially from Shaw.

“We have to Bear proof my toys” Root smirked. Finch cringed. Shaw frowned.

“Are they taking away your fun, handsome?” Shaw asked crouching down in front of Bear who licked the side of her face lovingly. Root tilted her head to the side and smiled slightly. It was undeniably the cutest sight, not to mention the voice Shaw used when she talked to Bear.

“I would like to think Ms Shaw, that we’re saving him from blasting off one of his paws” Finch interrupted and Root nodded.

“You wouldn’t want anything to happen to the dog, would you Sam?” Root asked and Shaw looked at her. “I mean that’s the only reason you’re here right?”

Shaw rolled her eyes and glanced towards Finch.

“So you’re gonna put some shelves in that closet?” Shaw asked and Root raised an eyebrow.

“Wow Sam, that’s a great idea” Root said “I hadn’t even thought of that.”

Shaw glared at her. “You’re just trying to get me to do it for you.”

“Am not” Root protested and Shaw almost smirked. “But I mean, it’s your stuff too.”

Shaw glanced at Bear. “This is bullshit.”

“Don’t swear in front of the dog” Finch called out and Shaw looked smug.

“I thought you were gonna say _child_ ” Shaw replied looking directly at Root.

“Sameen, you know better than most that I’m not G Rated” Root said. Finch tried to block out the conversation happening behind him.

“You’re right.” Shaw said. Root was about to smile when Shaw added, “you’re like a bad porno.”

The smile fell from Root’s mouth and Shaw brushed past her, picking up the tool kit and marching towards the empty closet.

Root spun on her heel and followed Shaw, she leaned against the doorframe and watched Shaw squint at the walls.

“Don’t even open your mouth” Shaw said “if you say a single thing about us being in the closet, I will nail gun your lips shut.”

Root opened her mouth to protest, but instead smirked, her tongue curling up and touching the edge of her teeth.

“That’s not what I was going to say” Root said and Shaw just looked at her.

“You would’ve got there eventually” Shaw said.

“It looks cosy in there” Root said and Shaw sighed, turning to look at Root so she would see the eye roll.

“Just because I’m in here doesn’t mean you have to be” Shaw said.

“What if I like being close to you?” Root said with a playful smile.

“Root” Shaw whined. “Do you want me to put these shelves up or not?”

“I can help Sam” Root said and Shaw laughed.

“In what department? Standing there and looking pretty?” Shaw said and Root looked shocked.

“Sameen,” she said cutely “that’s _so_ nice of you.”

“Oh my god” Shaw muttered shaking her head. “I’m going to physically lock myself in here.”

“The closet is a pretty dark place to be Sam” Root nodded and Shaw glared at her.

“I hate you.” Shaw said and Root smirked.

“That may be so, but you would definitely prefer it if I was in there with you” Root said moving in and closing the space between them. Shaw

“Shaw have you stolen my nail gun?” Reese’s voice approached from around the corner and suddenly he was standing behind Root.

Shaw moved her eyes off Root and looked behind her at Reese, the nail gun in her hand.

“It’s not yours, and I haven’t stolen it.” Shaw said. Root looked down, not because she felt uncomfortable but because she was hiding the smile on her face, from them being caught yet again.

“What are you doing in here?” Reese asked and glanced at Root. Shaw rolled her eyes.

“Bear proofing, you pervert” Shaw said and Root laughed.

“Well I’d offer my service but you seem good” Reese said and Root turned around.

“No go ahead,” she said slipping past him out of the way. “She needs a good service.”

Reese raised and eyebrow and Shaw looked like she was about to shoot the nail gun at Root’s head.

“I meant the closet” Root winked as she sauntered back off down towards Finch.

Reese waited until Root was gone to look at Shaw with a smug expression.

“What was that about?” he asked and Shaw groaned.

“Don’t.” Shaw said and Reese frowned.

“Something happen?” Reese asked and Shaw shifted her focus to the shelves.

“No” she growled “She always talks to me like that, you know it, we all know it.”

“That was strange though, even for her” Reese pointed out and helped get the shelves up.

“If you’re gonna keep doing the talking thing, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave” Shaw said.

“Seems a bit polite for you, Shaw” Reese looked smug. Shaw rolled her eyes.

“You’re right, I’d throw you out on your ass in front of Finch” Shaw said and Reese chuckled.

“You’re too small for that.”

Shaw glowered and decided not to say anything.

“Why are you doing this for her anyway?” he asked.

“Have you seen her?” Shaw said “She’d probably kill herself.”

“Did you forget what’s going in here?” Reese asked. “Last time I checked she was perfectly capable of handling machinery”

“Would you trust her with your beloved nail gun?” Shaw asked and they looked at each other.

“You’ve slept with her” Reese exclaimed suddenly and a frown knitted across Shaw’s forehead.

“What the fuck?” she said dropping half the shelf.

“I knew it” Reese smirked.

“You know nothing.” Shaw shot back. “Stop involving yourself in my life.”

“Shaw, chill out” Reese said “It’s not like I’d tell anyone”

“I don’t give a shit if you print it on a billboard it’s not true” Shaw snapped and snatched the power tool from his hand. “Get out, I don’t need your help.”

Reese rolled his eyes and stepped out of the closet, he glanced at Shaw.

“Why are you so hostile about the idea of sleeping with her?” he asked. “It’s not as if she’s not pretty.”

Shaw’s jaw clenched. “She’s not my type.”

“You want me to believe that? Fine, Shaw” Reese said throwing his hands up and walking off.

Root watched Reese walk down the hallway, grabbing his coat before he swiftly passed through the door and left.

“I think the kids have been fighting” Root said narrowing her eyes.

“Doesn’t surprise me” Finch replied “they’re far too alike for them not to fight.”

Root slipped off her spot where she was perched on Finch’s desk with her laptop on her knee. She wandered down the hallway and peaked around the closet door. She didn’t say anything for a moment, she just leaned against the framing and watched Shaw in silence, admiring her muscles and concentrated frown on her forehead.

“If you’re coming to check on me, don’t” Shaw said through gritted teeth.

“What could he have possibly done to annoy you that much?” Root asked folding her arms. Shaw didn’t turn to look at her.

“Breathe the same air as me” Shaw said and Root looked amused.

“Sameen,” she said gently. “He cares about you, you know”

“I don’t want a lecture” Shaw said, her eyes fixated on the shelving. She had one knee on a chair leaned against the wall and the other on the ground, giving her more balance, and height, when it was needed.

“Should I guess what it was about?” Root asked.

“No.” Shaw said flatly.

“Me?” Root asked and Shaw slammed a hand into the wall.

“God damn it Root” she swore.

Root took this moment to move in, she pulled the power tool from Shaw’s hands and sat down on the chair that was moments ago occupied by Shaw’s knee.

Shaw looked down at her.

“You don’t need to do _this_ ” Shaw said.

“And what is _this_?” Root asked.

“I don’t know” Shaw frowned. “It’s fine, I’m fine, he’s just an asshole.”

“You only say that when people are right and you don’t want them to be” Root pointed out and Shaw frowned. _She had a point._

Shaw snatched the power tool back.

“And when they’re assholes” Shaw added and Root smirked. “Are you gonna move?”

“Nope” Root said leaning back in the chair.

“Whatever” Shaw said and leaned forward, without being aware of the fact her chest was now directly in line with Root’s eyes. Root bit her lip, her hands itched to reach out to Shaw’s legs, but she knew better. Especially when Shaw was working with tools.

“Sam” Root asked. “Why are you so afraid to talk about your feelings?”

“Feelings?” Shaw scoffed. “What feelings? I’m a sociopath, I don’t have feelings.”

“Everyone has feelings Sameen, at least on some level” Root said staring up at her.

“And you’re so sure of that?” Shaw asked without looking at Root.

“Including you.” Root added. That made Shaw look. “Why did you tell John we hadn’t slept together?”

Shaw frowned in confusion. “How did you know? I thought-“

“I can put you together like a puzzle Sam, you’re not all that strange” Root said and Shaw shook her head.

“This is nobody else’s business” Shaw said.

“But John’s your friend” Root said. Shaw rolled her eyes.

“So?” she said “that doesn’t qualify him to know who I’m sleeping with”

“Is it me?” Root asked and Shaw let out a groan, putting down the tools and leaning against the opposite wall.

“Why are you drilling me about this?” Shaw asked.

“Because it bothered you, and I want to know why” Root said.

“Just because I’m sleeping with you, doesn’t mean you qualify as my discussion panel” Shaw said and Root frowned, the words stinging more than she expected. She knew Shaw was still being defensive and didn’t always have the best filter for when things were going to accidentally hurt someone. But still. _Ouch_.

“Sam” Root said. “I’m not trying to be, or do anything, I’m just asking.”

“Well that’s enough” Shaw said. “It’s none of your business either.”

“Isn’t it?” Root asked. She waited for an answer but Shaw just looked down. Root got up and moved to the door.

“Wait, Root” Shaw said as soon as she saw Root leaving. “It’s not you.” she said and Root almost smiled.

“Well that’s something.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> currently on a roll and loving it :P
> 
> let me know your thoughts and feels! these guys definitely have a lot of unspoken issues, and it really doesn't help they can't communicate for shit. I mean.. at least in comparison to how far we know they've come ;) x
> 
>  
> 
> [ thank you for sticking with me on this, I know my updating has been sporadic as hell, but it means so much that you are still here! <3 ]


	21. Chapter 21

This was the space Root wanted. Or needed, rather. She didn’t particularly enjoy not seeing Shaw, but it was giving her the space that was required for her to try and get over this, or around it. Either way, it wasn’t working. All it was doing was making it worse. She just wanted to be with Shaw, in whatever sense, all the time.

It had been a few days since she had seen Shaw. And that was okay. Shaw was the one who needed space. And that was fine. But Root missed her, and she was okay with admitting that much.

“Is she okay?” Root asked The Machine. There was no answer. Root sighed.

After four days Root was impatient. She walked into Finch’s and groaned as she dramatically threw herself into a chair.

“Have you seen Sameen, Harry?” she asked closing her eyes.

“She was here this morning, why?” Finch said and Root immediately sat up.

“Where did she go?”

Finch looked at her. “Why the sudden interest Ms Groves?” he asked.

Root simply rolled her eyes. “Just tell me where she is, Harry”

*

Root paused before she pushed the door open. She didn’t know why she was suddenly nervous. She took a breath, pushed the door open, and walked up the last few steps to the rooftop and saw Shaw on the other side. She didn’t look particularly busy, she had a sniper set up, and a assault rifle at her side, but she was sitting on the ground with something that resembled a smoothie.

“You busy?” Root asked and Shaw looked over at her in shock.

“Yes.” Shaw said. “What are you doing here?”

“What do you think?” Root asked and Shaw looked away.

“Are you sulking Sameen?” Root asked and Shaw sighed.

“Nope.”

“So yes then?” Root asked.

“What’s with you and your poor listening skills?” Shaw asked and Root smirked, then crouched behind the sniper and looked through the eye hole.

“You could just go into the hotel” Root pointed out when she saw what Shaw was watching.

“I could” Shaw answered.

“We could get a room” Root said and Shaw sighed.

“Root.”

“What?”

“Nothing.”

Root sat down next to her. Shaw looked at her.

“What happened to your face?” Shaw asked looking at the scrape on Root’s cheek.

“Happened the other day” Root shrugged.

“I said what happened” Shaw said and Root rolled her eyes.

“Didn’t know you cared, Shaw”

Shaw frowned. “You’re difficult.”

“So are you.” Root said and picked up Shaw’s drink, taking a sip from the straw before Shaw snatched it back. Root sighed and drummed her fingers on her knee.

“So is this what it’s come to?” she asked. She had to. “Meaningless conversations and three word answers?”

“Has it ever been more?” Shaw asked. Shaw wasn’t looking at her, she was staring vacantly into the air.

“Don’t try and hurt my feelings on purpose, Sam” Root said.

“Why would you say that?” Shaw snapped, turning to look at Root.

“Because when you can’t handle something you hurt me to get me away from you” Root said and a frown flickered on Shaw’s forehead.

“How would you even know that?” Shaw said.

“I told you, you’re not that hard to put together” Root pointed out. Shaw was still looking at her, watching her with intrigue. Root looked down, hoping her cheeks wouldn’t flush pink, she could feel Shaw’s eyes on her.

“I’m handling everything just fine” Shaw said.

“Maybe you ought to do a better job of showing it then” Root suggested and Shaw rolled her eyes.

“And what would that look like?”

“When were you planning on talking to me again?” Root asked.

“I don’t know” Shaw said under her breath “Two weeks.”

“Two weeks?” Root echoed making sure she had heard correctly. “Seriously? Two weeks you weren’t going to say a word to me?”

Shaw looked confused. “What’s wrong with that? It’s better than a year.”

Root looked baffled. “We have practically been living in each others beds for a month, and you were gonna ignore me for two weeks?”

“I didn’t say that” Shaw grumbled.

“You just did!” Root exclaimed. Shaw didn’t say anything. Root blew a lungful of air from her mouth and shook her head. “So what were you gonna say to me after that two weeks?”

“I don’t know” Shaw said. “I guess I was hoping I wouldn’t have to say anything” there was a semi smirk on Shaw’s face as she said that, that indicated what she meant. Root just stared at her.

“If you think I would have fallen into your arms after two weeks of radio silence, and fucked you like we have been for the past month, you’re wrong.” Root said.

“Am I?” Shaw raised an eyebrow.

“I’m a human being, Sameen.” Root said and folded her arms. “You can’t just use me at whatever expense suits you.”

“Root, I’m not.” Shaw looked irritated.

“Well it kind of sounds like you were planning on it” Root said looking away. Shaw could tell Root was upset, it was obvious, even to her. She felt uncomfortable. She didn’t want Root to think she was just using her for sex. That was their agreement, yes, but it wasn’t like that. Shaw just didn’t know how to tell her that. Shaw frowned, her eyebrows knitted together in frustration. She felt like she had hit a roadblock and didn’t know where to turn.

She looked at Root, her arms folded across her chest defensively. Her fingers twitched, frown still stitched to her forehead she reached her hand out and lightly dragged her fingers across Root’s leg. The air of hesitance Shaw felt like she was choking on went unnoticed by Root as she immediately looked down at Shaw’s hand feeling the light touch. It was unexpected. It got her attention.

“You know I’m not good with this” Shaw said when Root didn’t say anything.

“Painfully aware” Root said softly. Shaw pulled her hand back.

“So” she said “Do we call it quits?”

Root let out a sigh. Shaw glanced at her. Root stared at her knee where Shaw’s hand had been moments ago.

“Do you want to?” Root asked.

“I asked you first” Shaw said with a smirk.

Root licked her lips and looked away, catching sight of movement in the hotel room Shaw was meant to be watching.

“Sameen” Root said “I think you should pay a little more attention”

“I’m trying” Shaw said but she was looking straight at Root. Root glanced at her and then moved behind the sniper to look through the eyehole.

“I meant your number” Root said and Shaw’s head whipped around.

“Move” she said and nudged Root out of the way.

“You should get in there” Root said looking at her.

“And do what?” Shaw asked.

“It’s better to be closer, what was your plan from over here?” Root asked. “Shoot the poor guy? He’s not the perp here.”

“No” Shaw frowned “Don’t question me”

Root smirked. “Come on” she said picking up the rifle and throwing it over her shoulder walking towards the door that lead back down. Shaw stared at her before rolling her eyes and following.

The next thing she knew they were checking into the hotel room beside her numbers.

 _“Are you together?”_ the woman behind the desk had asked.

“Yes” Root had said.

“No” Shaw had replied at the same time. They had stared at each other for a moment while the woman raised an eyebrow at the two of them.

“I mean no” Root said and added a wink at the woman who suddenly looked embarrassed like she had been chosen to keep a dirty secret.

Shaw rolled her eyes as they got in the elevator.

“Why are you like that?” Shaw asked and Root just smiled.

“Why not” Root said and leaned her head back against the wall as they numbers flicked up. As the doors pinged open Shaw stood back and let Root out first.

“You don’t need to be here” Shaw said as she pulled the key card from her pocket to open the door to the hotel room.

“We didn’t really finish our conversation, Sam” Root said as both of them did a once over check of the room before meeting in the middle and throwing the duffel onto the bed that was loaded with Shaw’s weapons.

“I didn’t realise that was a conversation you actually wanted to have” Shaw said.

“You asked if we should call it quits” Root said. “Are you saying that because you want to?”

Shaw stared at her pulling a listening device from the bag and tearing her eyes off Root to climb onto the desk and slip it through the air vent.

“Do I want to stop having aggressive and kinky sex with you, where I end up with more bruises than I do from a fight?” Shaw asked rhetorically. Root held her breath. “Doesn’t seem like something I’d ever say no to.”

Root exhaled. Shaw jumped down from the desk and pulled her jacket off. Muscles. Root looked away.

“With me though?” Root asked.

“Well unless you can suggest another dominatrix type?” Shaw shot her a smirk and Root almost blushed. “You never answered the question though” Shaw added.

“I mean, we’re good right?” Root said. She was practically lying through her teeth, but in that moment she didn’t know what else to say. She didn’t want to push Shaw away, because wouldn’t that be worse? She could do this. She just had to emotionally distance herself. Somehow.

“Yeah” Shaw shrugged. “Harmless sex is better than no sex right?”

Root almost laughed but not for the reason Shaw thought. Harmless. Yeah, right. Root thought thinking about her tumultuous turns of emotions about Shaw, fighting herself constantly not to think about Shaw _that_ way.

“I wouldn’t go as far as harmless” Root said.

“I guess you’re right” Shaw said and looked at her arms “I still have bruises that belong to you.”

“I like leaving my mark” Root said and Shaw cracked a small smile as she loaded up her guns.

“That’s a little over protective” Shaw said.

“I don’t like other people touching my things” Root said. The words came out before she could stop them. Shaw looked up.

“You’re saying I’m yours?” she asked simply. Root swallowed hard. Her mind went blank. But thankfully Shaw hadn’t finished.

“Are you sure you want that?” Shaw added.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's really no such thing as a direct conversation between these two. Honestly.   
> But still... so cute.
> 
> A lot of you have been saying this is a much easier read because you know they end up together in B&S, but I reread the first chapter of B&S and tbh, the first chapter says enough ;) 
> 
> Let me know your thoughts and feels and suggestions, or like how your day was. There's so many of you and I feel like I don't know any of you well enough!  
> But you're all great and I hope you have an excellent day! Thank you for reading <3
> 
> here's my twitter if you want to harrass me @aishawhat


	22. Chapter 22

Root’s heart almost stopped at those words. _What did that mean? What was she implying? Was she saying she didn’t mind?_ Root’s brain was suddenly on overload but she still couldn’t find the words to actually verbalise anything. Shaw didn’t notice though. She was still laying her guns out in a pedantic almost obsessively compulsive manner on the bed. Root was staring at the space where Shaw had been standing moments ago when those words had left her mouth.

Shaw glanced over at her and frowned. Root was utterly still.

“You okay?” Shaw asked. “You look like you’re gonna pass out.”

Shaw came around the other side of the bed and pushed Root’s shoulders down so she sat on the bed.

Root looked at her. She still couldn’t bring herself to say anything. Not even a simple _I’m fine, really._ It was as if it were finally dawning on her that maybe everything she wanted with Shaw would never be a possibility, because whatever Shaw said, it was impossible to tell if she meant or not.

The back of Shaw’s palm pressed against Root’s forehead.

“Hey” Shaw said, something about her tone had changed. Root briefly wondered if this what Shaw would have been like as a doctor. Shaw crotched between Root’s knees looking up at her.

“Verbal confirmation you’re still in there?” Shaw said and the corners of Root’s mouth twitched.

“Yeah” Root said finally.

“Is this like a low blood pressure thing, or a Root thing, or a Machine thing?” Shaw asked a hint of concern buried deep in her eyes. Root’s brain suddenly produced it’s first fully formed thought since Shaw had forced her to sit down.

“It was Her” Root said. Shaw raised an eyebrow.

“Everything alright?” she asked.

“No actually” Root said, there was the smallest amount of guilt laced in with the fact she was lying but she almost couldn’t feel it. “She just told me that your guy has seen me around before with one of my covers, so if I leave this room and he sees me…”

“He’s gonna know somethings wrong” Shaw finished for her and Root nodded.

“Exactly” Root said. It was a believable enough story.

“So basically you’re stuck in here till I sort this out” Shaw said and Root sighed.

“I hope you know what you’re doing, Sam” Root said and Shaw smirked.

“Well with you here bossing me around,” Shaw said. “I’m sure it’s only gonna take longer, because we’re going to be arguing about whose right.”

Root lay back on the second bed and held her hands up in surrender.

“I won’t get involved.”

“Bullshit” Shaw said “you involved yourself as soon as you walked onto that roof.”

“I was there for you” Root said “Not him.”

“Whatever.” Shaw said and flopped down on the bed beside Root. Root turned her head to look at her. Shaw stared up at the ceiling.

“Are you in the mood?” Shaw asked without so much as batting an eye, still staring directly up. Root raised an eyebrow.

“I can’t tell” she said truthfully.

“Neither” Shaw said. “Is that bad?”

“For us? I don’t know” Root said and looked up at the ceiling too. But as soon as she moved her eyes off Shaw, Shaw turned her head to look at Root. Shaw stared at Root’s nose, the way it came to a perfect point at the end. She stared at Root’s lips.

Shaw never thought about the future, not like other people did. But as she was laying there staring at Root she was suddenly struck with the thought that unless Root was killed, she might have her around forever. Or at least as far as Shaw dared to think into the future. Or unless Shaw left, but she had already stayed once, she had enough reason to. And if she was honest with herself, that reason was laying right next to her. She couldn’t figure out what it was about Root, and she didn’t really care. It was working. And she was fine with it, so why be anal retentive about something she couldn’t control.

“Sam” Root said.

“Yeah?”

“For the record, two weeks is way too long.” Root said.

Shaw smiled.

“A week?” Shaw asked.

“Three days” Root said turning to face Shaw. Their eyes met. “Max.”

“Noted.” Shaw said. “What if I was actually angry at you?”

“Unlikely.” Root said with a smug look on her face.

“Are you trying to brush me up on dating rules?” Shaw asked.

“Oh Sameen, you’d actually have to let me take you on a date first.” Root said and watched Shaw roll her eyes.

“You’re a pain in my ass” Shaw said.

“It’s a great ass though” Root said and Shaw looked at her for one, two, three seconds before leaning in and kissing her once on the lips.

“What was that?” Root asked feeling her cheeks burning pink.

“I don’t know” Shaw said. Root pondered with her conscious for a moment before rolling onto her stomach so she they were facing each other, and kissing Shaw again.

“You behave strangely” Root mumbled against Shaw’s lips.

“Was that a compliment?” Shaw asked.

“No, me telling you that you have a great ass was a compliment” Root smirked, her hand slipping across Shaw’s stomach, her fingers running over the outlines of her abs.

“I thought you weren’t sure if you were in the mood” Shaw said looking up at Root, her eyes chasing Root’s trying to read what was behind them.

“Well that’s the thing” Root said “I’m not sure.”

Shaw watched her for a moment, before catching her lips and kissing her firmly. It was the kind of kiss that if Root hadn’t already been struggling with how she felt about Shaw, she sure as hell would be now.

Shaw’s hand ran up Root’s jaw and slipped round the back of her neck. She would catch Root’s lip lightly between her teeth before pressing their lips together again.

When she stopped Root was almost breathless.

“Does that help?” Shaw asked, her thumb swiping across Root’s bottom lip.

“I thought you might be able to hear my heart” Root said softly and Shaw smiled.

“Ohh, that’s what that sound is” she said and Root was practically melting. The kiss, and then the smile. Seeing a genuine Shaw smile was a rarity up there with seeing comets and shooting stars. And even then, you have to be patient and look closely or you could miss it.

Root stared at Shaw for a few moments, taking in what was in front of her. Those eyes. That face. There was so much right in front of her that was so loveable, but at the same time, so unattainable.

Root looked away and sat up. She stared at the wall in front of her.

“What is it?” Shaw’s voice asked from behind her.

 _It’s you._ Root wanted to say, more than anything. She bit her tongue. Being stuck between a rock and hard place was an understatement for how she felt right now. She wanted Shaw, but could she keep doing this to herself? Denying, ignoring, and shoving aside every feeling that she had, would Shaw eventually notice? Would she care? But what was the alternative? Telling Shaw? Admitting how she felt and then walking away from this, from what she had wanted for months?

Shaw sat up and looked at the back of Root’s head, she rested her chin lightly on Root’s shoulder and stared at her closely.

“Any normal person would be worried about you.” Shaw said. Root turned her head slightly and caught Shaw’s eye.

“And the sociopath?” Root asked.

“Mildly agitated by your out of character behaviour” Shaw said.

“What would make you less agitated?” Root asked.

Shaw paused. “Taking your shirt off.”

Root quirked an eyebrow and Shaw looked smug. Root could feel her heart beating. Here she was again, at the crossroads and still without direction.

Root started to pull her shirt off.

“I was kidding” Shaw said suddenly realising Root was serious. “Root…”

Root slid off the end of the bed and discarded her top on the floor, she turned and looked at Shaw who was staring at her wide eyed.

It was like two teenagers in love. Except neither of them could see it, and they were both deathly allergic to that word. But it was there, it was in their eyes.

There was something hungry about the way Shaw looked at Root. And there was something so soft about the way Root looked at Shaw. It shouldn’t have worked so seamlessly, but for some reason it did.

Shaw moved forward on the bed to where Root was standing at the end.

Shaw moved onto her knees, so she was eye level with Root.

“I don’t know what’s going on in there” Shaw said looking at her, straight in the eyes. “But you’re still sexy as hell.” she said hooking her finger into the front of Root’s bra.

“Are you trying to butter me up?” Root asked tilting her head to the side, Shaw’s finger curled and she pulled Root’s bra and in doing so, tugging Root closer to her.

“That kinda sounds more like something you’d do to me” Shaw said the smile at the edges of her mouth irresistibly sexy to Root, who couldn’t help but lean in further, closing the gap between them. Their noses touched, their lips grazed against each other. Root kissed her once, lightly, softly, like a feather. Shaw took it. And then kissed her back, harder, hungrier, pulling Root closer with one hand.

Root didn’t protest. Her fingers snuck under the hem of Shaw’s top, wanting to feel her skin. She dug her nails in lightly to Shaw’s sides and heard Shaw let out a soft sound as she did.

Shaw’s lips broke away from Root’s first, but not for long. Shaw kissed Root’s jaw roughly until she turned her head to the side and Shaw could get to her neck. Shaw kissed her neck lightly, and then bit the skin with her teeth gently. Root tried to repress a groan, her hands running over Shaw’s shoulders and arms.

“So this is what it’s like being you” Shaw said with a smirk glancing at Root, whose cheeks were now sufficiently flushed.

“That’s a stretch” Root managed and Shaw raised an eyebrow, sitting back on her heels. She ran her hands up Root’s thighs, round the back and up to her ass, grabbing it, yanking Root closer, kissing her stomach, and then looking up at Root again with a smirk.

Root was frowning, but she was biting her lip, and her eyes said _more_. Shaw went back up onto her knees, one hand going to Root’s neck, the other trailing up Root’s thigh then she slipped her hand between Root’s leg and with two fingers applied a tin amount of pressure that was more than enough to get Root to moan.

“Remember that time you told me not to make any sound?” Shaw asked against Root’s lips.

“Fuck off” Root mumbled and Shaw smiled.

“Aggressive” Shaw said her voice low, she moved her hand away from Root’s crotch. Root’s eyes flashed open.

“You’re not doing that to me” Root said and like a flash of lighting, Shaw felt Root’s long fingers wrapped around her wrist squeezing hard.

“Relax, Root” Shaw said with a smirk still. “I’m not as mean as you.”

Root stared at her, releasing Shaw’s hand and then taking a step back from the bed. Shaw watched her with interest, that smirk still lingering on her face, and then coming back full strength as she watched Root tugging her jeans off.

“You look pissed off” Shaw stated smugly “is that because I’m doing a good job?”

Root moved forward swiftly, taking Shaw’s face with both her hands and kissing her hard before she could say another word. Her fingers got tangled in Shaw’s hair, she dominated Shaw’s mouth, refusing to break until Shaw pulled back and sucked in a lungful of air.

Shaw glanced at her, eyes dark, she looked at Root’s lips. _Fuck_ she thought. _What the fuck_. She had barely caught her breath back and she grabbed Root. Root shoved her back so she was laying down, she climbed on top of Shaw and pinned her arms at her sides. Shaw growled.

“What’s the matter, sweetie?” Root asked looking satisfied and Shaw just stared at her.

“Let me top you” Shaw said and Root smirked.

“No” Root said. Shaw wriggled her arm, Root was hovering above her straddled on all fours. Shaw managed to yank her away from under Root’s tight grip, and in the second that Root went to grab her, Shaw’s arm dodged between Root’s legs and before Root could do anything else Shaw’s finger slipped under Root’s panties. Root groaned. Shaw grinned.

“Maybe I don’t need to be on top” Shaw said but Root wasn’t paying attention. The hand she still had on Shaw’s other arm tightened, and in her other hand her fingers curled, scrunching the sheets.

Shaw had one finger in her and was taking immense pleasure in not giving her exactly what she wanted right away.

Shaw watched Root’s face, it was obvious she was trying to hold herself back. Her teeth were sunk into her bottom lip, her eyes shut, but the way her fingers were curled into Shaw’s bicep were telling a different story.

“You can’t just…” Root started but instead of waiting for her to finish, Shaw added another finger. Root moaned.

“What were you saying?” Shaw asked smugly. Root was still hovering above her, refusing to move any closer out of protest, but Shaw knew that wouldn’t hold for much longer. She had been soft so far, because she knew it was a completely different situation from when Root was fucking her. But Shaw drove her fingers harder into Root, curling her middle finger inside.

“Fuck” Root groaned, her arms buckling at the elbows bringing her down so their chests were pressed together.

“If you just let me get on top” Shaw said with a smirk.

“No” Root growled. Shaw rolled her eyes, feeling Root’s body weight finally on top of her. Root was moving against Shaw’s hand by this point. Her breathing had quickened. Shaw kept her pace steady, and slipped her thumb up over Root’s clit. Root groaned, her forehead falling to rest on Shaw’s chest.

“Come here,” Shaw said “you’re barely resisting anymore.” Shaw used her spare hand to tilt Root’s chin up so they were looking at each other.

“Come closer” Shaw said when she had Root’s eyes. Root stared at her a moment, her pupils dark, wide. Her cheeks flushed pink, hair disheveled, lips parted. Shaw’s hand stopped moving the longer she looked at Root. She felt something inside her. Root shifted on top of her, bringing herself closer so their faces were inches from each others.

“Better?” Root asked, her nose brushing against Shaw’s. The word jolted Shaw back into reality, she curled her fingers and felt Root’s hips move against her.

“Much” Shaw said her lips against Root’s cheek.

Shaw drove her fingers in harder, faster, listening to Root’s moans. There was something about how close they were, their bodies pressed against each other, their faces so close, that was the difference between this and every other time. It felt more intimate. It was just them.

Shaw didn’t stop until she sent Root over the edge, feeling her body tense and then jolt on top of her. Root’s breathing was ragged and fast, she held onto her orgasm until it was completely gone and then collapsed on Shaw. Shuffling down so her head was on Shaw’s chest. Shaw without second thought wrapped her arms around Root’s body and kissed the top of her head. Root lay there for a few seconds until she caught her breath back and then rolled off Shaw and stared up at the ceiling.

Shaw glanced at her, not sure what to expect. She climbed on top of Root, a knee between Root’s legs she felt the stickiness still.

“Good?” Shaw asked leaning on her arms looking down at Root.

“Yeah” Root replied looking up at her.

“You should let me do that more often” Shaw said.

“You do” Root said with a smirk and Shaw rolled her eyes.

Root started to sit up, and Shaw moved back sitting on her heels watching her. Root looked at Shaw. Their faces were still close.

It was the way that they were looking at each other which was the glaring difference, Shaw almost looked nervous. Root looked so soft like a Renaissance painting, her eyes were dreamy, her cheeks still rosy.

They were fine until Shaw’s eyes flicked down to Root’s parted lips again, and then suddenly they were leaning into each other again. Root almost stopped herself, but Shaw kissed her lips and the corner of her mouth and Root gave in. They kissed, and kissed, and didn’t stop until Shaw heard a sound coming from the listening device she’d planted in the air vent.

“Sorry” Shaw mumbled, turning her head away from Root as she strained to hear movement next door.

Root watched her. Shaw looked back at her.

“Room service?” Shaw asked.

“You read my mind.” Root said with a smile.

*

“Is this too normal?” Root asked leaning back against the wall an hour or so later, lazily licking chocolate mousse off a spoon.

“Normal?” Shaw echoed. “We’re in a hotel room monitoring the guy in the room next to us with guns, after we had sex, and now you’re eating mousse with half your clothes on the floor, because you can’t leave.”

“Actually” Root said and looked down. “I have to tell you something.”

“What is it?” Shaw asked. Root could barely look at her, but she was suddenly feeling the weight of the guilt.

“It wasn’t The Machine who told me I had to stay here” Root said and Shaw raised an eyebrow.

“But I thought…” Shaw looked confused.

“That man has never seen me before.” Root said and chewed her lip.

“You lied?” Shaw asked and Root frowned.

“Sam, I just…”

“Why would you lie?” Shaw cut in.

“I didn’t want to go, but I felt like I had to unless there was a good enough reason.” Root said picking at the sheets. She could feel Shaw’s eyes on her.

“Root” Shaw said her tone serious. “The only reason you would have to go, is if you wanted to.”

Root looked at her. She didn’t seem mad. She didn’t seem…anything.

“But… we just had that conversation and”

“And nothing” Shaw said “you didn’t need to lie.”

“I’m sorry.” Root said.

“Don’t lie to me” Shaw said “you don’t need to.”

Root swallowed the lump in her throat.

“I won’t.” Root said.

“You sure?” Shaw asked tilting her head to try and catch Root’s eyes. Root sighed softly and looked at Shaw.

“What do I even have to lie to you about?” Root said. _Except for the fact_ _I think I’m in love with you_ she thought.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey kids, you miss me? ;) 
> 
> So I'm spoiling you with this giant chapter because as i type this (at max speed) I'm literally moments away from getting in the taxi and going to the airport..... and I'm going to be gone for over three weeks. yes. I know. I've just started updating again regularly and then this. I'm sorry, I love you. And I will be back in full force after this trip.  
> If you have been with me thus far I have every faith that you can last these few little weeks without updates.... hence giant update right now.
> 
> And if by chance you think you're gonna miss me too much, by all means hit me up on social media, this trip is taking me to london, new york, canada, and hawaii..... and to see my best friend of nearly 3 years... for the first time... in person.   
> Yes. 'Maybe someday' is about to be tomorrow for me.  
> So if you are into that kind of extreme gay cuteness here i am avocado_thief on instagram, i find a lot of joy in making insta stories to die for ;)
> 
>  
> 
> In the meantime, you're all brilliant, and fantastic and I love reading your comments it makes my day every time I see I have a new one.
> 
> Thank you for all your endless support. Enjoy this chapter. let me know what you think.... these two are just... infatuated with each other and i think this was the first time it actually showed for both of them. 
> 
> Thoughts? Feels? ANything?
> 
> I HAVE TO GO MY TAXI IS LTIERALLY OUTSIDE OMG xxxxxxx


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